Comfortably Numb (Kellic)

Chapter Eighteen

The doctors left Vic and I to ourselves for most of the night. We didn't sleep. I, personally, was scared to. Right now, it's only three a.m but I'm laying here in his arms. His fingers ran absent-mindedly through my hair. Where was this happiness before it was too late? Where was this feeling when I thought the world, including Vic, hated me.

"Talk to me, Kells." Vic's beautiful voice, the one that had haunted my dreams for so long, broke the comfortable silence that fell over us.

The way he said it made my stomach erupt with butterflies. It was better than the pain that usually settles there. Speaking of, it's getting worse. It's like hunger pains time twenty minus the nausea.

"My first kiss was in high school. It was to a girl: Katelynn. I didn't like her." Why I was telling him this, I don't know. Things need to be said. "I don't like girls. I don't really like anyone. I do like you, though."

Vic chuckled, his chest vibrating against my head.

"I like you too. So much. So fucking much more than you know."

Again, he's so sickeningly intoxicating. Just like the feeling when he kissed me. Just like every time he's ever said he likes me. Every time he's tried to save me. Only, this time he couldn't. But the feeling was still there. Sometimes we're meant to lose the ones we love. But he fought for me. He still is. Why? I don't know. If I wasn't a lost cause then, I sure as hell am now.

"Tell me more." He said, pulling me from my thoughts.

Where should I even start?

"My dad used to drink. A lot. That's when my mother wasn't here. One day he got drunk and passed out on the couch, except he didn't wake up." Should I feel sorry? I don't. "Then my mom came back. She's tried, I think. But sometimes you lie to people you love and you can't really blame them for not seeing. You can't blame them for not seeing you break down at night or sit in the tub thinking about drowning yourself. You lie to make them think you're okay, but you're really not. I guess I lied because I didn't want to hurt the ones I love. Now, I'm just hurting them either way."

"Just tell me that you're happy. Right now. In this moment. Are you really happy?" He asked, his own voice betraying him.

I nodded slowly. "I guess I am."

---

"Jesse nearly broke the whole door." I laughed remembering some of my happiest moments. It's sad that some of my happiest times include people that aren't here anymore.

Vic chuckled, his arms tightening around me ever so slightly. He thinks I'm fragile. I can tell by the way he touches and holds me. I'm not fragile. I'm just.. broken.

A sharp pain shot through my chest. I gasped at the sudden feeling. My hand went to my chest.

"Kells, what's wrong?"

I took a deep breath before answering. "Nothing. It just hurt for a second."

"Oh.."

I pulled his hands from their position on my waist, and brought them up to my face. His hands are soft but his fingers are calloused. Kind of like Jesse's were.. His thumb ran over my cheek. A small smile was plastered to his face. One that I'm falling for.

"What if I told you I'm falling for you?" I asked, my insides churning a bit in fear of what his answer may be.

"What if I told you I was too?" His eyes held a glint of sadness. "Can I kiss you?"

Waves of the feelings from our last kiss washed over me. It made me feel warm inside. Like I was going to be sick, except I wouldn't mind this one. I think they call it love sick. I never understood the term, till now. I nodded.