Hunger

Chapter Eighteen

Stiles

It all came back to me in a dream, like two floodgates opened up and everything washed over me at once. It was a lot to take in, too much for someone like me to handle. I sat up shaking, freezing cold even against the warmth of Derek's skin. I softly rolled out of the bed, careful not to wake him up. I didn't want him to worry about me right now, and frankly, I felt like being alone.

I stumbled across the room, flashes of certain memories coming back. All of the basic things came back at once, names and places, but all of the small memories came back in painful headaches, one at a time. The longer ones left me blinded for the next couple of seconds. Each one sped my heart beat up, sent sharp pains through my skull. I barely made it to the bathroom before I collapsed onto the floor, the memories from these past few days all coming back. Derek. All about Derek. My feelings for him and the kiss. I even remembered things from when I was still on the drug, how one minutes he was my perfect Derek, and the next he was a monster.

I turned on the cold water, stripped down to nothing, and climbed into the shower. I let out a shaky sigh, shivering at the sudden burst of coolness, but it felt good and helped my headache. I just stood there, taking in the relief and all the good memories, trying to push past the bad. My limbs refused to move, felt weak and broken. At least I could breath now.

A soft knock on the door made me jump. "Stiles? You alright?" Derek sounded half asleep, maybe a little worried. He didn't know I had my memories back. I'd wait until tomorrow to tell him.

"I'm fine," I assure him, raising my voice over the sound of the running water. "I'll be out in a bit. Go back to sleep."

"M'kay," Derek mumbled back.

I sighed and rubbed my eyes in attempt to wake myself up some more. I felt like death, and it wasn't fun. I stayed underneath the cool water for at least another half and hour before turning it off and stepping out. I dried off and dressed in a pair of jeans and a hoodie. Quietly sneaking around Derek's bed, I found my shoes and then slipped out the door. I wouldn't be gone long, just an hour maybe. I wanted to get out, get some fresh air. Derek would never know.

It wasn't freezing, but it wasn't exactly comfortable weather. Every now and then the wind would start to blow, bite at my skin and turn it red, but that was the only thing that bothered me. It was still dark outside, maybe three in the morning. The moon was shining down, casting my shadow across the sidewalk. It was quiet except for the sound of my shoes scraping against the ground and crickets chirping in the bushes. I walked and walked until I lost track of time, eventually coming across this building where everything was brightly lit and loud, and people were stumbling around inside and out. It was a bar, which I didn't really think about the fact you had to be 21 to enter, and I just walked right in. Fortunately for me, small town bars didn't care much about ID unless you were actually buying alcohol. I only ordered a water and found a booth far in the back, away from all of the partying and booze drinking.

I liked to watch, found it interesting and unique. There were so many different types of people in a bar. You wouldn't expect it, but there were more than angry drunks fighting each other. One man across the room is nursing his fourth mug of beer, obviously drunk, but quiet. He stays out of the light, away from the attention. Then there's the huge, muscled guy standing in the middle of the bar, arm slung over a skinny, under-dressed redhead. He's chugging a bottle of something, yelling at the top of his lungs, just inviting someone to come up and punch his pretty little teeth in. I was too busy watching to notice the curvy little blonde staring at me from across the room. When I caught her eye, she winked and waved a small, manicured hand in my direction. I only managed a smile.