Hiding my heart behind my soccer ball

Decisions decisions.

I looked out into the scenery, the cool wind easing my tight muscles. I took in deep breathes until I slowly started to feel more numb. I could smell the damp mud underneath me, but also the flowers and clean air that had comforted me many times before.

I took this all in; it kept my mind off other more debatable subjects.

Though, what I still wanted to know was why, in gods name, did this happen to me after I had finally found someone I truly cared about? Why?

I let the silence surround me, as I thought back to all the words I would, but couldn't, take back.

But most of all, how badly I could take away the pained look on Will's face when I called her a slut.

I knew what I had said will never be forgotten. Maybe that was a good thing.

I needed to get into the team without worrying about hurting Willow. I could finally follow after my father's and my dream of making it to the big leagues.

But was it really worth it without Willow by my side?

(Willow's POV)

I couldn't move after Tai had left. I stayed in the same position on the cold rough floor all night. I would slowly drift into sleep until a horrible nightmare or my screams awoke me.

When the rest of the team enterred the change rooms the next morning, I was still there, half asleep with my eyes red and puffy from crying all night long.

Many rushed over to me, wondering what on earth had happened to me.

I just sat there numbly until coach came. His face brought me out of my slumber, and before I knew it, I was on the field.

Many of the boys gave me looks. I simply told them to focus more on the ball, and not on me.

I ran, jumped, I kicked.

Though I still felt nothing. It was as if my body was on auto control. I still felt as though the last twenty four hours were all a dream. If only that were true.

The boys kept encouraging me to crack a smile, though I couldn't muster it.

This hurt more then the betrayal in Australia.

At the end of practice, coach walked up to me as I was taking gulps of water from my pump bottle.

"You okay?" It was all he needed to have said. "Ofcourse I'm fine coach, why wouldn't I be?" I gave him a big smile, which was ofcourse as fake as barbies hair, though my voice gave me away. It was filled with no emotion.

I was as blank as a new sheet of paper.

He gave me a look of sadness. "Look, I know how close you two had become. Don't let this come in between you. The scouts want to see a TEAM, not a one man show. You need to be able to work with everyone." With this he clapped me on the back, before leaving me with a retreating look of sadness and regret in his hazel eyes.

I stood there motionless.

I couldn't work with him. How could you work with someone who you had trusted so much, and they threw it back in your face?

I didn't bother walking back to the change rooms. I went to my favourite spot by the lake. I sat on the old fallen log and took in my surroundings. I didn't let any thoughts deter my concentration. Today, it was me and the serenity of the lake.

Before I started to slip into a peaceful slumber, one last thought swept its way into my conscious.

Where was Tai today? He has never missed a day of training in his life.