Through the Glass k.th [HYYH pt.1]

5

Taehyung blinked, a tear or two slipping down the side of his face.

"Why does everyone hate me?" Taehyung asked out loud, his deep voice shaky and almost breaking. "Am I defective? Is there something wrong with me?" He wiped at tears. "It's all I want, to be accepted, it's all I want..."

He wanted a family, he wanted someone to genuinely care about him. He wanted love. Actual love. Not the fake, shallow, 'love' he'd gotten. He wanted someone to hug him, to kiss his forehead, his cheeks.

Everyone else had been so lucky, having parents that would do that every night before they went to sleep, every time they came back from a trip. Even if they wre embarrassed, saying they were too old for that, they didn't know how good they had it, how much those small things made a difference.

Taehyung kicked the covers off, suddenly feeling way too warm. His stomach felt queasy, it had felt like that all day, but it felt especially bad now.

Taehyung got up out of the bed and went over to open the window to let some fresh air in, since earlier, the psychiatrist had closed it, saying she didn't want him to get cold as it was chilly at night.

The cold breeze hit his face, freezing whatever tears were still on his face. It was chilly, cold almost, Taehyung shivered. The new air felt good, but the temperature gave him goosebumps.

Either way, even after a minute or two of taking deep breaths, he still threw up all over himself. Bile all over his shirt.

Taehyung's first thought was to tell someone, just because that's what he always had to do at the mental hospital, because they wouldn't let him do anything himself.

But he should at least be able to clean himself up, he wasn't stupid.

He took off his shirt. He looked for another one, but the closet was absolutely empty, and he hadn't exactly had any clothes of his own.

He licked his lips in thought, then went to the door, trying it first, because he wasn't sure if they'd lock it, then slowly and quietly making his way into the hallway, the door seeming to be the loudest thing on earth.

He remembered where the bathroom was, so he just walked as quietly as he could to it. He wasn't sure how much they trusted him, if they caught him wandering around in the house, what would they think then?

The bathroom door seemed to be just as loud as the bedroom door, and Taehyung was scared to close it in case it made more noise and woke someone. He searched around in the dark room along the walls for the light switch for a minute but eventually found it and flicked it on, the light blinding him after the dark hallway and bedroom.

Taehyung caught sight of himself in the mirror. He didn't look quite like how he remembered. The same really, but a little older, a little sadder, tired. There was dark circles starting to form under his eyes.

He rubbed his eyes, getting closer to the mirror. He remembered not being this sad, back when he was ignorant to how much his 'sister' hated him. That ignorance was bliss.

Taehyung searched under the sink in the wood cabinets for a washcloth to wipe his face, finding a dark blue one. He ran water over it, then rubbed a bit of soap on it before bringing it to his face, only really watching his eyes in the mirror. Seeing just exactly how blank and lifeless his stare was.

Jimin was right.

"What are you doing?"

Taehyung jumped, surprised to see Jimin standing there. "Ah...I..."Was all Taehyung got out.

Jimin stood there for a moment, looking Taehyung up and down. "Did you puke?" Jimin asked, then yawned, stretching his arms out to either side. "Are you sick? You've gotta tell people these kind of things, you know?"

Taehyung glanced at the mirror, then looked at Jimin, nodding.

"Did you get it all over your shirt too?" Jimin asked.

Taehyung nodded again, a little embarrassed.

"Well, come on, let's find you a shirt." Jimin said, grabbing Taehyung's hand and tugging him out of the bathroom.

Taehyung wasn't sure what to think. No one had really touched him after what he did, especially not his hands. Taehyung felt very uncomfortable all of a sudden.

Jimin led him to his room, making him sit on his bed while he searched a drawer for a shirt.

Jimin's room was messy, clothes and paper everywhere, and then a stack of CDs in the corner, making a mountain of jewel cases.

Taehyung was surprised when Jimin threw a shirt at him, hitting him in the face. He couldn't stop the giggle that escaped as he pulled it off his face, nor the boxy smile. The shirt was plain white, just a tee-shirt.

"Mom wants to go shopping for a few things with you tomorrow." Jimin said, closing the drawer he'd gotten the shirt from.

"Oh." Taehyung said. She was going to buy him things? Why?

Jimin rolled his eyes. "I've upgraded from nods to noises."

Taehyung put the shirt on. He didn't quite like the fit, but it would be fine for now. He chewed his lip. "H-hyung?" Taehyung started, scared to call him that. Jimin's mother had said that they were supposed to treat him like a brother, but...

Jimin laughed, his laughter bubbly and higher then Taehyung would have thought.. "We're the same age aren't we? You don't have to call me that, Jimin is fine." He smiled. "But what is it?"

"Th-thank you..." It felt weird speaking. He got the feeling he could trust Jimin though. "Kyung-mi...hates me, doesn't she?"

"I wouldn't say that..." Jimin said, pouting. "Okay, well maybe I'd say that, but she doesn't like a lot of things, she's kind of annoying, don't worry about it, if she doesn't like you, so what, right?"

Taehyung nodded. But I want her to like me, I want her to understand me, I want her to see it like I do more then anyone else.

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A/N: "Hug Me" Is the song for this fanfic, it's settled. I recommend you listen to Taehyung and J-hope's cover and take a look at the translation if you don't understand Korean. Because I cried when I put it on, but it fits very well with how Taehyung thinks in this.

Also, Jungkook's cover of "Sofa" Yeah, my playlist is mostly sad when I write this x'D

ILYSM for reading <33