Ghosts {Lynn Gunn}

Novocaine

I watched the rest of the concert quietly, trying to hold back my tears. What did I do wrong? Why did Lynn write that song about me?

When they finished their set, they walked off the stage and headed to their merch tent for the meet and greet that was scheduled. I knew I wouldn't be able to talk to her there. I had to find their bus. I walked through the enormous crowd of people and walked somewhat near their merch tent, making sure Lynn couldn't see me. I saw a man standing by, looking at a clipboard. I walked up to him, hoping he would believe me.

"Excuse me sir?"

He looked up at me, a bored expression plastered on his face. "May I help you?"

"Uh, yeah, I was wondering where the PVRIS bus is? Lynn is my fiancée," I said, knowing this was a long shot. He laughed, obviously not taking me seriously. "Nice try, but that was complete bullshit," he said, turning back to his clipboard. "I'm being serious. Here," I growled, shoving a picture of Lynn and I in his face. His expression softened. "You were being serious?"

"Yes, asshole," I muttered. "Uh, okay, then. Their bus is over in that parking lot with all the other ones. It's number 435," he said, pointing in the direction I needed to go. "Thanks," I said, starting on my walk over to the parking lot. I dodged several people walking by, trying not to bump anyone as I tried to hurry as fast I could. I needed to talk to Lynn, even if it meant having a fight. I needed to know why she was upset with me.

I was lost in several rows of buses, trying to find the right number. It took me about 20 minutes before I finally found it, hoping that they would get back soon. I knew meet and greets lasted a long time, so I sat down on the side of the van, fixing my ponytail.

What had I done wrong? I couldn't stop asking myself that same question over and over. I went over the past 4 months in my head several times, but I couldn't find anything I had done wrong. I had tried so hard to get in touch with her, but she never did. She never really picked up, never texted me back. So how the hell could she possibly be mad at me?

Did she just not want me anymore?

I paused.

Did Alexa do something? Fuck. She couldn't have. I mean, what could she have possibly done? Told Lynn something about me that wasn't true? Lynn was definitely smart enough not to believe her. So then what the fuck was going on?

I sat there for a long time, telling myself not to cry. I swallowed the lump in my throat and blinked several times, trying to get my eyes to stop watering. Of course it didn't work.

"What the hell are you doing here?" someone said from in front of me. My head shot up and I saw Lynn glaring at me. "Lynn, I-"

"No, Ava, you don't get to say anything," she spat, looking even colder than before. If it was possible. "What did I do? Tell me what I did wrong because I have no idea what I did!" I exclaimed, standing up. I let the tears go now, not able to control myself anymore. She shook her head at me, not bothering to look at me. "This is bullshit. You don't call me for 4 fucking months? And then all of a sudden you just show up? What the fuck, Ava?!" She yells, finally looking at me.

I stare back at her, utterly confused. "What are you talking about? I called you every day! You never picked up! I texted and called all the time and then I just gave up because I figured you didn't want me!" I yelled back, crying even harder. How could she have not seen all of my messages and missed calls.

"Well how do you explain that I never got them?!"

"I don't know! I don't know! But I'm not lying to you! I fucking called and texted every day but you never answered!" I exclaimed, still confused. I pulled out my phone and opened up my recent calls. "Look," I cried, showing her all the times I had tried to call her. She looked at me. "What?"

"I called you. I would never do anything bad like that to you. I love you, okay? Why can't you see that?" I sobbed, not sure what to do anymore. I didn't want her to leave me. I just wanted her to understand, to believe me. To trust me that I didn't mean to hurt her. But why couldn't she trust me?

I covered my face with my hands and continued to cry. I felt her hands on my arm and I stepped back. I felt sick. "Ava, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"No, okay? Why can't you trust me? Why would you think I would do that to you?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. I just thought you wanted to get rid of me."

"So you just stopped trying to call? That's a shit excuse! I never wanted to get rid of you!" I exclaimed, suddenly feeling hurt. "What were you really doing while you were gone, Lynn?!"

She shook her head, looking angry. "Don't put this on me."

"Put this on you? ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION LYNN!" I yelled loudly, feeling a new wave of tears stream down my cheeks. "What are you not telling me? Is it about Alexa?!"

Her eyes became watery, looking ashamed. "I didn't mean to," she told me, her voice breaking. I stared at her, stunned. She cheated on me? After all this time, I was thinking she wouldn't. I thought she loved me, thought she would never do that to me. Was I not good enough for her? Did she just want to hurt me because she thought I had tried to hurt her? She was crying now, trying to wipe her tears away. "I fucking trusted you. I trusted you," I told her, trying to take the emotion out of my voice. I didn't know how to feel. Sad? Angry? Betrayed? Unwanted? I suppose it was all of those emotions and feelings combined.

"Ava, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. Please forgive me," she begged, looking at me. I could see the trails her tears made that ran down her soft cheeks.

"Fuck you, Lynn," I spat, right before I threw my ring on the ground, walking away from her.

Ohhhh drama. Sorry

- claire