ULTIMATE Doctor Who Book of Randomness (COMPLETED)

Series 2 Episode 5: The Girl in the Fireplace (Part 2)

P.O.V: The Doctor

I heard Rose call my name as I spun from the ship to the eighteenth century. Reinette was asleep, and it was snowing out. As I took a step she woke with a start. 

"It's okay, don't scream. It's me. Fireplace man. Look, we were just talking a moment ago. I was in your fireplace." I assured her, and saw a candle by her beside, lighting it. 

''Monsieur, that was weeks ago. That was months.'' That long?

''Really? Oh. Must be a loose connection. Need to get a man in.''

''Who are you? And what are you doing here?'' I surveyed the room, and noticed the clock on the mantel. It was broken.

''Okay, that's scary.'' I said slowly. 

''You're scared of a broken clock?'' she said, amused yet scared as well.

''Just a bit scared, yeah. Just a tiny little bit. Because, you see, if this clock's broken, and it's the only clock in the room, what's making that ticking noise?''

Reinette's eyes widened, I could see the fear in her. 

''Because, you see, that's not a clock. You can tell by the resonance. Too big. Six feet, I'd say. The size of a man.'' I looked around the room once more. 

''What is it?'' she asked.

''Now, let's think. If you were a thing that ticked and you were hiding in someone's bedroom, first thing you do, break the clock. No one notices the sound of one clock ticking but two? You might start to wonder if you're really alone.'' I looked over at her, and I realized something. ''Stay on the bed. Right in the middle. Don't put your hands or feet over the edge.''

I crouched down and waved my sonic screwdriver under the bed. Something knocked it out of my hands. I stood up slowly to see a figure dressed in male eighteenth century clothing with a big wig, and a smiley mask over it's face. Robot.

''Reinette,'' I whispered. ''Don't look round. You stay exactly where you are. Hold still, let me look.''

I held Reinette's head and looked deep into her mind. ''You've been scanning her brain! What, you've crossed two galaxies and thousands of years just to scan a child's brain? What could there be in a little girl's mind worth blowing a hole in the universe?'' 

''I don't understand.'' Reinette said. ''It wants me? You want me?'' 

The droid spoke. ''Not yet. You are incomplete.''

''Incomplete? What's that mean, incomplete?'' It was silent. '' You can answer her you can answer me. What do you mean, incomplete?''

Without answering, the droid walked around the bed and a blade came swooshing out of it's arm. 

''Monsieur, be careful!'' Reinette told me. 

''Just a nightmare Reinette, don't worry about it. Everyone has nightmares.''

The droid slashed at my middle and I dodged out of the way. I began backing towards the fireplace. 

''Even monsters from under the bed have nightmares, don't you monster?'' The droid slashed it's blade down, and it got stuck in the mantelpiece. 

''What do monsters have nightmares about?'' Reinette asked, watching me curiously from her bed.

I pressed the button on the fireplace and I rotated back to my side. 

''Me!'' 

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P.O.V: Rose Tyler

''Doctor!'' I called out to him. He grabbed a tube from a nearby rack and fired it's contents over the droid, and it seized up and stopped moving. 

''Excellent. Ice gun.'' Mickey noted incorrectly.

''Fire extinguisher.'' he corrected, setting it down.

''Where did that thing come from?'' I asked, observing the creature.

''Here.'' he said simply.

''So why is it dressed up like that?'' Mickey asked.

''Field trip to France. Some kind of basic camouflage protocol. Nice needlework, shame about the face.'' He removed the mask the droid was wearing to reveal intricate clockwork.

''Oh, you are beautiful! No really, you are. You're gorgeous! Look at that. Space age clockwork, I love it! I've got chills! Listen, seriously, I mean this from the heart. And by the way, count those, it would be a crime, it would be an act of vandalism to disassemble you. But that won't stop me.''

With those words the android beamed away, disappearing.

''Short range teleport. Can't have got far. Could still be on board.'' 

''What is it?'' I asked. 

''Don't go looking for it!'' He warned us, looking at me and Mickey with caution. 

''Where're you going?'' I asked. Was he going to go swanning off again? 

''Back in sec!'' He called to us as he swung around to the other side of the fireplace again. I looked at the extinguisher and hefted it up like a big gun. Mickey's eyes widened.

''He said not to look for it!'' Mickey exclaimed. I gave him a sly smile.

''Yeah he did.'' Mickey's eyes showed realization, and he picked up another one off the rack. 

''Now you're getting it.''