PHAN -Save me, please.

Chapter 14

A/N: Major rape/smut warning. Beginning and end marked with ***. Everything written in italics are thoughts/flashbacks/etc.

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Wow, this is all I've ever wanted! Dan thought, as he felt Phil's lips inching closer towards his. Phil is the boy of my dreams, and I surely could not be happier.

"Kiss me you slut!""Who would even want to kiss something so hideous like you?! That is vile!"

The thoughts were coming back from the back of Dan's mind. He had forced these thoughts to stay away from him, but now he just couldn't control it. Dan reminded himself of the incident, how his last kiss with anyone until now had felt. What they said. How much they'd hurt him.

Right before Phil's lips connected with Dan's, he pulled away, panting heavily. If Dan would've let Phil kiss him now, what would've happened afterwards? Phil would want more. More and More. And Dan surely wasn't ready to give him this quiet yet. And what would happen if Dan stopped Phil from taking what he desires? He would treat him like they did.

"D-Dan...?" he heard Phil's voice. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to..."

Dan now pulled away completely, he even took three steps back. He eyed Phil warily, wondering what his intentions were. Why did he try to kiss me?

"Look Dan, I don't know what got into me, I... am really sorry." Phil apologized, slowly walking towards Dan and grabbing his hand.

"Leave..." Dan whispered into the tense silence of the room.

"Wh-What?" Phil asked confused. He didn't understand what Dan meant by that. Of course it was dumb of him to just go for it, without asking for Dan's consent. But he felt like Dan was enjoying it, as well as he did before Dan suddenly pulled away. But looking back on it, it was probably just Dan's fear of failing that he didn't say anything.

Dan inched away from Phil even more, his back suddenly hitting the white wall of his room. This is it Dan, you made him upset. You don't even want to know what he will do to you.

"Please leave. I'm... scared." Dan whispered, not daring to look into Phil's eyes.

At this point, Dan was just waiting for it. He was just waiting for Phil to place his fist in Dan's face, or even worse, try to repeat what happened on the incident.

"Oh..."Phil stated. That was not at all what he had intended. He just wanted to show his affection towards Dan, not at all did he want to scare him off. But the only smart move right now would be to just do what he had told and leave him alone, this was probably the best option for both of them. It was obviously too much for Dan at the moment, and Phil also needed some time alone now to rethink what had just happened.

"Sure, of course...I guess I'll see you then tomorrow... if I may." Phil stated silently, while walking towards the door. He thought about hugging Dan another time as a goodbye, but this surely wasn't the correct move right now.

It kind of broke Phil's heart as he looked at Dan who stood pressed to the wall opposite of him. The cheerful and happy Dan he had just seen a few minutes ago was gone and now replaced by a stranger who wouldn't even dare to look Phil in the eyes. Phil really didn't want to leave. All he wanted was to hug this little human tight and tell him that everything would be okay in the end. Yet, he closed the door behind him.

After Dan heard the sound of the door closing, he looked up. Phil was gone. That was what he wanted right? He even sent him away when he clearly wanted to stay with him... But thinking about what consequences this could've had, he was far better off. Yet Dan started to feel empty. He may had feelings for Phil, nevertheless he wanted to put his own safety first. That was necessary because only then, he could maybe have a good future, and hopefully with Phil.