Blow My House Down

Chapter 13

"Girls, Kirshner is back today, along with Boyce and Hart." Schneider announced, and I inwardly groaned. Handling the arrogant, sexist music hit machine was one thing, but dealing with a man who kept invading personal boundaries was another. Hart, on the other hand, was okay. He just wanted to get the job done quickly and correctly. I respected him in that sense. "They want to work with each of you individually on your singing." Schneider turned to Roxanne, who was looking rather nervous. "Roxanne, I know you're not much of a singer, but you're still going to go with the others to learn a thing or two about the music industry."

Roxanne nodded obediently and forced a smile. Annie scowled at her, so I nudged her in the ribcage, giving her a glare. Annie rolled her eyes and relented. Micky watched the exchange and raised a questioning eyebrow; I shrugged. Rafelson turned to the boys, "I need the four of you to keep practicing improv with Frawley and getting to know one another. Bert and I both know there's still a lot of things you don't know about each other."

"There are some personal things we don't wanna share, man." Peter said, and the other three Monkees nodded in agreement. "I have some thoughts on my chest that I don't wanna share. I haven't known them long enough to talk about it. All of us have to be comfortable before we bare our souls."

"Here he goes with the hippie shit again." Cecily mumbled derisively under her breath. I snorted in amusement, and Rafelson shot me a look, so I covered it up with a cough.

Micky stepped up. "Peter's right though. There are some things I'm not comfortable sharing." he said, and his eyes briefly flitted to meet mine. He quickly looked away. "At least, it depends on the person."

"What he's trying to say is he trusts Miss Lennox more than his bandmates." said a voice from behind us. That voice sent chills down my spine, made me feel cold deep inside, it was alarming. I closed my eyes tight and held my breath; it felt like the room was spinning. "Isn't that right, Dolenz?"

"No, Boyce, that's not what I was saying at all." Micky replied coldly. There was a presence behind me, and I knew deep in my heart that it was Tommy Boyce. I felt so out in the open, so vulnerable with him where I couldn't see him. "Boyce, how about we talk about songwriting and who's singing the lead track. I don't think Davy should sing lead anymore: he's terrible." His tone was teasing.

The presence suddenly disappeared, and I released the breath I had been holding, offering some relief to my lungs. I knew Micky had said that to get Boyce away from me. He didn't have to say it directly, I just knew that he was trying to help me in some way in which I was at a loss. I opened my eyes and noticed the boys had dispersed to talk to Boyce and Hart; Rafelson and Schneider were eyeing me warily, periodically glancing at Boyce. They knew something wrong, but there was no way in Hell I was going to tell them nor were they going to ask me.

"Um, Kat?" Roxanne asked gently, and I snapped back to reality. "Are you okay? You're clenching your hands so tightly they've turned white as a sheet."

I unclenched my hands, crescent imprints marking my palms. I didn't realize I had been holding myself so terribly still, including holding myself back from punching him out. I usually was not afraid of much, except maybe dark streets and heights, but this man was starting to legitimately scare me and I had only met him a few times. "Uh, yeah, I'm fine." I answered, attempting to reassure her with a smile, though my heart wasn't in it. I flexed my hands to get the blood running again. "I'm okay. Thank you, Roxanne."

She smiled and patted my shoulder. "Sure thing, Ladybug."

Cecily eyed me curiously, and when Roxanne left me to take a look around, she pulled me aside, tugging Annie by the sleeve too. "What's going on, Kat? And don't give me that bullshit: I know you're not okay. I was watching you. The moment Tommy Boyce walked through that door, you froze. What's wrong?"