Not What It Seems ||An Outsiders Fanfiction||

Chapter 2

Ana's POV:

"So where are the guys?" I ask my brothers, referring to the gang. I know them all well, I grew up with them and they're all like brothers to me. Although, my real brothers seem to think that something more is happening, especially with Dally. Like that's gonna happen. Like it ever would...

"Johnny and Dally are at the drive in, they left earlier, but I'm not sure where Steve or Two-Bit are," Soda informs me.

"I'm here. Got anything for dinner? I'm starved!" Two-Bit exclaims. I laugh and walk over to him.

"Who are you?" He asks seriously. But he's joking, I'm pretty sure. Smiling, I hug him.

"I missed you too, Two-Bit," I say.

"Oh yeah, Ana!" He exclaims, squeezing me.

"I haven't seen you in so long.... I barely recognized you," he says. Well, that's just Two-Bit, always making jokes. But this one doesn't make me feel too great.

"Yeah, you've changed a lot too," I mumble. Even though he hasn't. He's fit and muscular still, and looks clean and shaven, but I can tell he's a little tipsy. Same ol' Two-Bit, always drinking.

"So how's college treatin' you?" He asks me. I debate this for a second. College itself is fine, but Ana: The College Years, in general, hasn't been going too well.

"Well, college is college. Studying and tests and tons of stress," I say. And a psychotic ex-girlfriend named Ella who won't let me go out with anyone else even though she broke up with me almost a year ago. Except I don't say that.

"You going out with anyone?" He asks. I shake my head.

"Got your eye on anyone?" He asks me. I smile, picturing her.

"Oh yeah," I say, thinking about her. Missing her and wishing she were here.

"What's he like?" He.

"They're great. Tan skin, poofy brown hair, beautiful light brown eyes. The greatest personality in the world, I wouldn't change it for anything." I just don't say that she's a she. Or that she's my roommate.

"Sounds a lot like that girl that came up here with you last year," He says, almost accusingly. I flushed, thinking he would've pictured someone more like... Johnny Cade.

But then he mumbles, "Man, she was a hottie." I smile, but don't let him see it.

Yes, she is. But I don't agree out loud. That would've just been weird.

"Leesha," I say, sounding monotone but a little surprised, and trying to cover up that that's exactly who I'm talking about.

"Yeah. That was her name. Why isn't she up here?" Two-Bit asks.

"Probably with her family for vacation or something," I say with a shrug. But I know she's down at her parents beach house in Florida, having the time of her life and partying it up in Palm Springs over Christmas break while I'm stuck here in Tulsa. Two-Bit nods and looks into the distance, probably creepily daydreaming about my girl. Well, not exactly mine... Yet.

"Dinner's ready," Darry suddenly yells. We all- Two-Bit, Soda, Ponyboy and I- walk into the kitchen to see what he's made, which sure does smell good.

"Darry, this smells great!" I exclaim. He smiles.

"Thanks. I made your favorite. Baked chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy," He tells me. Yum, I think to myself, immediately making a plate.

As soon as everyone else is finished serving themselves, I take a bite of the mashed potato. It tasted different. Bland. And the gravy is seasoned wrong. It's good, but not at all the same as what I'm used to.

It takes me a minute to figure out why, but then I realize. This is not my mother's famous recipe. It's my brothers recipe. Not the amazing one that mom used to make, filled with secret seasoning and extra love that you could taste. No, this is different. It doesn't taste like my mothers. I don't like it.

"Is it okay, Ana?" Darry asks, breaking me out of my thoughts. I look down at my chicken, hoping it's better. And as soon as I taste it, I decide that it isn't.

"Yeah. It's great. But I'm really tired. Would you mind if I went to bed now? You're always saying I need more rest... Anyways, we'll have all of tomorrow and the rest of this week to catch up," I say.

Suddenly, my hands are shaking. Suddenly, I'm having trouble breathing. Suddenly, everything is different. I'm suddenly reminded that my mother and father are gone forever. I'll never have her chicken and mashed potatoes again... I'll never see her again.

"Uh... Sure. Are you sure you're okay, though?" He asks. I nod, taking deep breaths as I stand up.

"I'm fine, thanks. Just tired. Goodnight," I say, fake smiling as I sprint into my room. It's dark, but I immediately find the light, although I'm surprised I even remember where it is anymore. I look at the clock next to my bed, it's 8:15 already. The perfect time to call Leesha. She gave me a number to reach her at, the one for her parents beach house. I dial it quickly, already having it memorized.

"Hello?" A voice on the phone asks after a few rings.

"Hi. This is Ana. Is Leesha there?" I ask quickly. Where is she?

"Sure. One second," They say. I thank them.

And then a few seconds later, "Ana?" My heart skips a beat, just like it always does at the sound of her voice. I wished we were in our dorm, laying on beds next to each other, the TV on but muted while we talk about our day, just like every night. I looked forward to it every day.

"Hey," I respond, trying not to sound like I needed her to much.

"Everything okay?" She asks. She knows me so well, I realize as my breathing starts to regulate.

"Y-yeah. Now it is," I say. I almost tell her what's going on, but my hands have stopped shaking, now that I'm talking to her. She could soothe my worst panic attacks just by letting me hear her voice. It was amazing.

"How's being home?" She asks me. I take a deep breath before responding.

"It's.... different. Everything's different. The guys are different. The food's different, the only thing the same is my room," I tell her. "I miss my parents."

"Woah... Have you told your brothers yet?" She asks me. Have I told them about my sexuality yet? No.

"N-no. Not yet," I say. She gives me a long, deep, drawn out sigh. She'd been trying to get me to since before the funeral. I never told my parents, and I felt guilty knowing that they died with me keeping secrets from them.

"Annalise! You have to. You can't just keep lying to them," She says. "You can't keep lying to them after you never told your parents."

"I know," I respond. "I know..." I gave her a sigh too.

And I do know that I have to tell them. I know she's right. I just can't say it. I can't tell them just yet. And I want to, too.

What if they don't accept me? Mom and Dad would have, I know it. But Darry's different. He loves me, but will he still after I tell him the secret that I've been hiding my whole life? That I'm not exactly who I seem to be? How will my other brothers react? Will they care?

"Leesha, things are changing at the Curtis house. Things are changing quickly and I'm not ready for it," I tell her.

"I wish I was there with you. It'll be okay, though. It'll get easier, girl. You may not be seeing everything that's going on there. I'm sure it'll be fine."

"Yeah," I whisper. Not what it seems. Just like me.