I Hope That I Make You Proud

17

(VIC'S POV)

When I said goodbye to all the guys, I made sure I hugged them all tightly, but I felt empty. Feeling empty for the first time in...what seemed like forever honestly. I haven't been alone in the longest time, having my friends and brother by my side, but mostly because Kellin was there. He was the light at the end of my tunnel and to just have that taken away, replaced by darkness, it makes me...wistful.

I should have known I would've ended up here! I knew what I was getting myself into the minute I ignored Kellins light and payed more attention to the lighter that helped me drive my delusional escape. I mean, that's all done now isn't it? The damage is done and, so is Kellin and I's relationship. Even if I don't want it to be.

I love him so much and I really hope I can just get better for him. But the truth is, maybe I don't want to get better... I mean, obviously I do, but at the same time it just doesn't feel right for me. Getting better would mean possibly having a tiny slim chance of getting Kellin back. Yet at the same time, giving up my reality escape seems like a long ways go. If I did that, I'd probably go nuts!

The sounds of someone clearing their throat behind me, catch me off guard and make me flinch.

"Uh, Vic right?"

I turned around half expecting it to be some other junkie, but it wasn't. Well, at least I think it wasn't. The lady standing in front of me was absolutely gorgeous! I mean, I know I'm gay, but I do know what's hot and what's not. Even though she wasn't wearing any revealing clothing, you could still make out all the tats she had. All the woman's tattoos amazed me! She was a girl who had serious ink, yet here I was scared of a needle like that. I felt kind of naked around her.

"Yes?" I stopped eyeing her permanent body artwork and looked up at her face.

"Oh great um...could you please stand up?" She smiled slightly at me, motioning her hand up making me follow instantly. I stood from the front porch steps and fidgeted with my fingers a bit. Truth be told, I'm nervous as fuck.

"So, is there any reason you're out here and haven't come in yet?" She kept smiling at me and although it did make me feel a bit more comfortable, I was still pretty upset of ending up here.

"Um...I-I was, I-I w-was thinking." Despite the fact that I stuttered, I still smiled. I didn't meet her face though, in fact I looked everywhere but.

"Okay." She dragged out the 'o'. "Alright so mister..." When I finally met her eyes, she looked at me expectantly.

"My names Vic." I answered, not really understand what she meant. Wow, I'm going through heavy withdrawals and I'd be lucky if I make it out alive.

"Well mister Vic, please follow me inside." She still grinned at me, even though her eyes told me she was really confused.

"Yes yes." She grinned a bit wider and turned around, grabbing my bags for me. "My names Vic Fuentes by the way." I felt the need to tell her that was my name, and plus, I wanted to at least have a bit of fun. She might think I'm going through very heavy detox, and I am, but I just wanted alone time and the faster I got that the better.

"Okay Vic Fuentes."

She turned and smiled once we walking into this large living room area. There were a few people scattered around the room, socializing. Some were playing games or reading books and if I didn't know where I was, I wouldn't have known that this was a rehabilitation home.

"Okay so come this way and I will fill you all in." She led me away from the living area, making a few people notice me and the lady whom I still don't know the name of.

"Alright so in here is my office, and I'm the directer here." She pointed at a dark wooden door at the end of the dimly lit hallway. The hallway looked a bit morbid, and I almost found myself praying to God the rooms wouldn't be like that either. We walked into her office and I was pretty impressed. It didn't look so spooky, it looked more or less like a little kids room.

The walls were pink, with some drawings here and there. To say the drawings were beautiful, was an understatement. If there were better drawings skills out there, then I'll be damned. I payed no attention to anything else around me, only focusing on the intricate drawings bringing the room to life.

Sitting my luggage bags near the door, I was pretty surprised the backside of the door was pink as well. I sat at a comfortable office chair across from her, a desk sitting in-between us. All the stuff on her desk was pretty neat and clean, except for a few papers here and there. What caught my eye- much like the paintings did- was a black picture frame. It had small bright red hearts on two corners, and some engravings that I couldn't read because the lady spoke up.

"Okay, so I don't think I've introduced myself yet, but my names Miss Sno- wait. I'm sorry, it's Mrs. Sykes. I keep forgetting about that agh. I'm just the perfect wife huh?" She made us both chuckle at the same time.

"You can call me Hannah, I prefer that." She smiled sweetly at me, I was suddenly becoming more and more comfortable with her.

"Okay so let's-" her voice was cut off by a small ringing at the corner of the room. She paused, almost as though set wanted to ignore it completely, but got up nonetheless and excused herself.

I took this time to look around at her office more, taking in everything. Every small crack and dent, corner and wall. Even after I looked at everything in the decent sized room, I found myself staring intently at the drawings and picture frames on the walls. I just can't seem to get enough of those magnificent pictures!

"Okay, thanks bye." I tuned into what Hannah spoke just as she finished her phone conversation. She sighed and went through an all black file cabinet, taking out a few papers before shutting it and locking it. Hannah finally turned to face me, and she had this apologetic expression that made me a bit baffled. I haven't done anything wrong already have I? Oh man.

"Don't worry." She must've noticed me terrified face. "I just have other work to finish, but I guess you got lucky Vic." She told me to follow her out of the room, and led to another hallway. As I trailed the bags behind me, I heard the faint sounds of people speaking and laughing over the wheels rolling in the hardwood floor. How are they so perky and enthusiastic at a place like this?

The door she led me to, was at the end of this hallway much like her office was. Instead, this time the door was a dark midnight blue color. She opened the door and I was instantly hit with a cool air. Now that I think about it, the hallways were pretty warm.

"Alright Fuentes, this is were you'll be staying. Your first meeting with your spinner starts tomorrow, remember that. You got paired with," she stopped and looked down at one of the papers she held in her hand. "With Trenton Woodley." That was the last thing she said to me as she left the room, smiling at me for what seemed like the millionth time.

Sighing, I made my way over to the small bed in the corner. I blocked out everything and every sound around me as I though about how much I've screwed up to end up here. So far, the place and people seem nice, but maybe that's just their front. What if this place is another hell?

My god I need to find a way to get back home.

I need to find a way to get better.

But most of all, I need to find a way to get back the love of my life....