Ang babaeng gusto kong araw-araw na nakikita, walang iba kundi si Faelia. Wala na akong dapat ipag-alala ngayong nasilayan ko na ang maamo niyang mukha.
She’s like an angel who’s done a miracle for me.
Nagpaalam na kami sa isa't-isa, sandali lang rin kaming nag kamustahan bago ko siya tuluyang ihatid sa kanilang bahay-kamalig.
I sighed when I finally stepped foot inside our vast and comfortable home, though I have no right to feel any ease now.
With my eyes squeezed shut, I gathered what little calm I could before lifting my hand and knocking a few hesitant times.
"Come in."
Ayaw tumigil ang malakas na pintig ng puso ko nang tuluyan kong binuksan ang pinto. The sight of him, speaking on the other line through his classic telephone, his back turned to me, felt like a storm I feared might strike at any moment.
He was dressed in a thin Barong Tagalog and his usual gold watch—one he often wore during special occasions.. Mukhang kauuwi lang rin niya galing sa kung saan.
“Alright. Yes, thank you. I’ll make sure this never happens again. Yes—just make sure this issue doesn’t escalate or cause me any more problems. Ako ang makikiusap para tumahimik ang pamilya niya."
Bumaba ang mga mata ko sa'king talampakan at sa sahig.
Ingatan ang pangalan. Ingatan ang reputasyon nang higit pa sa buhay mo.
It’s like a chant he keeps drilling into our heads, so we’ll never do something this stupid again. Somehow, it helps. I think. Pagod na siya kay Elias at Elijah, ngayon naman dumagdag pa 'ko sa kunsumisyon niya.
Paniguradong hindi siya makapaniwala ngayon.
"Maupo ka, Elvis."
Napaigtad ako nang marinig ang malalim niyang boses. Naiangat ko ang tingin sa seryoso niyang ekspresyon, bago tumango at lumapit upang maupo sa sillón na kaharap ng mesitang gawa sa kamagong.
"Bukod sa dalawa mong kapatid, ikaw ang pinaka pinagmamalaki ko. Sa katunayan, galing ako sa pagdiriwang ng kasal nang isa sa mga tanyag kong kasosyo sa negosyo. Biruin mo, matapos makipag deborsiyo sa edad na kwarenta'y muli siyang magpapakasal makalipas lang ng anim na linggo? What’s funny is that the bastard married a young beautiful woman who only turned eighteen last year."
I remained silent. This is what my father does. He acts so high and mighty when people are in front of him, then badmouths them behind their backs.
He’s a friend to everyone, but a friend to none.
Muntik na akong mapasinghap nang maramdaman ko ang mga palad niya sa parehong balikat. He massaged them so tightly, I thought he’d leave bruises.
“I’m so proud of your achievements, Elvis, my son… but please… don’t let your light be buried under the mess your siblings bring. Elijah, at least, he’s trying. He’s fighting his way through, but Elias… God.” I heard him sigh behind me.
“I love all of my children, but he’s such a disappointment that I just wish would disappear. Wala naman akong pagkukulang sa inyo, so why the hell are you doing this to me?”
Mas lalo akong napapikit, hindi sa mariin niyang mga kamay. But because of the truth that hurts more than any touch. Nakikita niya lang kami bilang mga anak niya sa tuwing may ginagawa kaming ikaaangat ng apilyido na kay tagal niyang iningatan.
I thought I hated Elias, but I realized it was our father who truly despised him. He sees him as a failure.
But I don’t.
Chapter 3
Start from the beginning
