"You think you're underpaid? Your manager is just paid to pretend they're okay."
So you thought calling the manager would bring peace, justice, and maybe a freebie.
Plot twist:
Your manager just power-walked out of the breakroom with cold tea and crushed dreams.
⸻
🥴 Step 1: Understand What "I'll Call My Manager" Really Means
In retail, this line actually means:
• "I need someone else to lie better than me."
• "I need backup. Or bail money."
• "I need someone who looks like they care. Slightly."
If your manager arrives and says:
"What seems to be the issue?"
What they mean is:
"What soul are we sacrificing today?"
⸻
💼 Step 2: Managers Are Just Employees with Trauma in a Blazer
Your manager is:
• One espresso away from crying
• One policy away from snapping
• Pretending to have power—but can't even get Sundays off
They will smile, nod, and say,
"Let me see what I can do."
Translation: "I have no idea what I'm doing, but here we go."
⸻
📠 Step 3: When a Customer Yells, "I WANT THE OWNER!"
Oh babe...
Let them. Let them go full Karen summon circle.
Meanwhile, you and your manager share one powerful glance that says:
"Let them talk to God. He's the only one left."
If needed, your manager will:
• Nod politely
• Offer a fake apology
• Throw in a discount code that doesn't work
Then cry in the back room with you while whispering,
"We're in this hell together."
⸻
💬 Retail Rank Confessions:
"My manager told a customer, 'I understand your frustration.' Then mouthed 'run' at me behind her back."
— Sneha, Witness to War
"He gave a refund, a cookie, and called HR all in one motion. He's my emotional support manager now."
— Vikram, Frontline Responder
⸻
🚨 End of Chapter Reminder:
This is satire, babe. In real life, managers aren't evil—they're just coworkers with slightly fancier lanyards and 10x the burnout. Be kind. Hug them. Or don't—they're probably sweaty. 💼💔🫂
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Humor🛒💥 Namaste but I'm this close to snapping. This brutally honest, fake self-help book is for every retail warrior who has survived angry aunties, clueless uncles, and the customer who said, "This was cheaper yesterday." With chapters like "Smile Th...
