Fated Volition (#Wattys2015)

Chapter Six

"I don't understand. If they need her, then why were they trying to kill her?" Ryhan asked confused.

"It's not that simple. Sages do not come along every day. Only girls born with exceptional power are offered to become a Sage, and then only if they choose to do so." Evangeline said.

"Why would anyone choose to be drowned?" Ryhan asked angrily.

Evangeline sighed and continued, "There are only ever three sages, always women. The tribe has not had a new sage in almost forty years. The eldest would have probably died any day. When a girl decides to become a sage, they are taken into the lake and submerged in the water.

"It represents the womb and birth, and they are held under until they are on the brink of death and then allowed to reemerge, born again in their new position. She is then clean, washed of her past and can begin her celibate life as a sage."

"Celibate?" Gavin asked surprised.

Evangeline replied seriously, "Their commitment to learning and protecting the tribe is far greater than that of becoming mothers. They remain virginal until they die. They believe it keeps their power pure."

Ryhan wasn't sure what to think, "So, she was never in any danger?"

"Not really. There have been accidental deaths in the past, but it is very rare." Evangeline said.

"So then why did we leave like that?" Ryhan swallowed hard.

The look on their faces was enough to tell her what she already knew, "You said the eldest sage PROBABLY would have died any day. Meaning, she is dead already?"

Gavin stroked her hair and Evangeline only nodded before looking at the ground.

"How?" She asked.

Unsure if she really wanted to know the answer. Her eyes locked with Evangeline's and instantly she saw flashes of the elderly woman screaming, covered in flames. She closed her eyes hard and stood up quickly.

"NO! No no no no no no no...please no." She cried.

Gavin stood next to her and she was distinctly aware of his uncertainty of how to comfort her.

"I didn't mean for it to happen." She sobbed.

Evangeline looked as though she would cry too. Ryhan cried until there were no tears left. Then she knelt there, grief stricken, guilty for what she had done. How could she have let something like that happen?

She did not move, she just stared straight ahead, as the sun shifted over her and night began to fall. Barely noticing Gavin and Evangeline start a fire and make camp, she continued to stare off into the night. There was no undoing what had happened. Yet she prayed silently for it to be undone.

She had thought she had control over herself and had been so certain nothing like that would ever happen again. Yet it did. What kind of monster was she?

There was destruction all around her and it only seemed to be getting worse. How could she atone for the fact that her 'gift' cost innocent people their lives? Tears came again and she shut her eyes and squeezed them out. Inhaling she listened to her heartbeat. She exhaled and felt the release of her breath from her lungs. Focusing on her breathing helped to calm her.

Soft whispers caught her attention.

"It must be done, you promised me." Evangeline said in a firm breathy voice.

Gavin quickly replied, "I know that. How can I leave her like this? Look at her. She hasn't moved in hours."

"Gavin, you know that I will let no harm come to her. You being here will only confuse and distract her. There is so much she doesn't know, so much she needs to figure out." She pleaded.

"This isn't fair, to send me away like this." He said anger rising in his voice.

She scoffed, "You're being selfish."

They continued to argue for several minutes at which point Gavin threw his hands in the air and walked off. Ryhan felt defeated. She did not know if she wanted to go on without Gavin, but from the sounds of things, he would be leaving any time. Maybe Evangeline was right, maybe he was a distraction.

No, she thought to herself, he had been there helping her and keeping her calm since they met. She was in no position to argue for him to stay. In fact, she was in no position to demand anything for herself. She would go along with it because it is what Evangeline wanted, for whatever reason, and Ryhan trusted her.

One thing she would not agree to was using her power again. Never again would she let herself hurt someone like that. Taking a deep breath, she stood and shook out her aching legs. As she approached Evangeline, Gavin was walking toward her from the opposite direction. He started to speak, but she stopped him.

"I have something to say to the both of you." She said.

"I am truly sorry for what happened. To that woman and to the people on that ship. I will continue to work on my control and so that I do not hurt anyone else. But I will never...ever use my powers again." She explained seriously, and then sat down by the fire, not caring what they had to say about it.

"Ryhan..." Evangeline started, but Ryhan stopped her.

Evangeline nodded and accepted what she had said, although something told Ryhan it would not be the last she heard about it. Gavin said nothing and just held out his hand to her. She took it and followed him as they walked leisurely in no particular direction. They stopped far enough from the fire that all they could see was a big sky full of stars.

Gavin laid down on the ground and she followed never letting go of his hand. He had let his guard down again, and she could feel everything he was feeling. Sadness, anxiety, fears and heartbreakingly...love. He loved her, she could feel it radiating out of him, settling over her and reassuring her that what they felt was real. The fact that he loved her only made her heart ache more.

"How am I supposed to do this without you?" She asked him.

He reached out and stroked her cheek.

"Don't pretend like you can't." He said sadly.

Could she go on without him and do what she needed to do? She felt broken and unsure if that damaged part of her would ever mend. Remembering that her mission was bigger than she was, she decided she could.

"That doesn't make it any easier." She said, trying to swallow the huge knot forming in her throat.

He did not respond, just nodded in agreement.

Like usual, he was right. Of course, she would go on without him. One of her greatest abilities was to push away the pain and move forward. She would do it with the people she hurt and she would do it with him as well. Laying her head on his chest, she listened to his heartbeat. It reminded her of her own.

They laid there for most of the night, until it became too cold for even their body heat to keep each other warm. They retreated to the warmth of the fire. Exhaustion finally taking over, Ryhan closed her eyes hoping that she would not dream before sleep finally won.

Authors Notes

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