Passion In The Game

Depression

Anthony kept everything under the radar. He and Ariane were officially having an affair. Anthony barely thought about Rayna and was back to avoid her anytime he was home. Rayna slowly fell into a depression from Anthony not paying attention to her. She felt him pulling away and for the life of her couldn't pull him back.

You could've swore Anthony was really married to Ariane. He'd buy gifts for her, sending her flowers every few days. He didn't do those things when he and Rayna first got serious. Anthony was so in love. This was the first time Anthony had ever felt anything for any woman other than Rayna.

Anthony came home from a meeting with a company that wanted to name him a spokesperson as well as spending time with Ariane. He was about to go pet Teenie but then she got up and walked away from him. Teenie was upset with Anthony and was only affectionate towards Rayna. Anthony followed Teenie to the den where Rayna was reading a book.

"Hello." Rayna said.

"Hey." Anthony said sitting on the chair on the other side of the room. No kiss on the cheek, no sign of love or care. It was like Anthony had never even had a relationship with her. He just walked in, picked up a magazine, and sat down. Rayna closed her book and left the room. She wasn't going to stay there and feel unloved.

She went to her office on the second floor with Teenie right behind her. She petted Teenie's head which relaxed in her lap as she surfed the web and worked on her novel. She needed to get away from Anthony's blandness.

Anthony watched Rayna run from him. It kind of hurt for her to leave the room when they were already distant enough. He didn't really want her but, at the same time when she walked away there was a stab at Anthony's heart. But, he belonged to Ariane. However, if Anthony really was in love with Ariane, why was he with Rayna?

Hours later, Rayna was in the kitchen making dinner. She pulled the casserole out of the oven. She bent down and scratched behind Teenie's ears before looking for two glasses. Anthony came down into the kitchen from speaking on the phone with Ariane.

"What are we having tonight?" he asked.

"Grilled fish, with salad and casserole." Rayna said. "And I made tea. Want some?"

"Sure." Anthony said. "I didn't get to ask how was your day."

"Fine. Work was a bit of a drag." she said dishing up food. "Things have been like that for a while now."

"Oh. Maybe, you should take a vacation day." Anthony said.

"Can't." Rayna sighed. "Used them when I went to Houston. It's fine. I'm just tired."

"Well, I did tell you were going to start getting worn down from work. Should've listened to me." he said.

Rayna felt a stab at her pride and was trying to hold it in but, she was going to reach her boiling point. She continued putting food in the plates.

"Anything else I should know about?" Anthony asked.

Rayna sighed and shook her head. She poured the tea and took the plates to the table. "Could you grab forks and napkins while I get the drinks?"

Anthony obliged and opened the drawer for the silverware. They sat and ate in silence with Rayna feeding bits of food to Teenie.

"You always spoiled her." Anthony said.

"She's my baby." Rayna said getting a nudge from a very happy Teenie.

"I guess she is as close to a child as we'll get." Anthony said.

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Rayna couldn't hold in and the tears fell. The frustration, the exhaustion, the trying to pull him in when he was getting away. She just couldn't hold on to it anymore. She pushed her plate away and went upstairs. Anthony knew that he messed up again. He didn't know why but, since he had started seeing Ariane he became very cold to Rayna. She didn't deserve this. Rayna wasn't the one stepping out. Rayna had never looked or even talked to another man like she had Anthony. Rayna wasn't the one sleeping with someone she met at a charity event and hit it off with.

Anthony finished his food and cleaned up the table. He found their bathroom doors closed with soft jazz coming from the stereo inside. He opened the doors and found Rayna soaking in a nice warm bubble bath and her tears.

He got on the floor next to the tub. Rayna didn't even acknowledge him. She just continued to sit and sulk in the tub.

"I'm sorry." Anthony said.

"What did I do?" Rayna said.

"What?" he said.

"What did I do to deserve this? I cook, clean, make sure everything is the way you like it. I do everything in God given power to please you in other ways since you refuse to touch me much less look at me naked. I know it hit you hard when we found out I was infertile. It hurt me too. But, have I offended you so much for you to treat me like this." Rayna said with the tears flowing quicker.

"No. You haven't offended me." he said.

"Yes, I have. You changed. This isn't the man I've loved. This isn't the man that proposed to me in front of the world. This isn't the man that pulled me out of an eating disorder. This isn't the man I vowed to have and to hold til death did we part. Where did he go?" she said still staring at the ceiling.

"Look at me." Anthony said. "I'm still here. I'm still me."

"No, you aren't. You aren't the man I love. I want that Anthony back. I want my Anthony." Rayna said.

"Rayna, I love you. And I'm sorry." he said. He reached to wipe her tears only for her to pull away from him. This was the first time Anthony had showed any type of care for Rayna since he became intimate with Ariane. He saw the depression that was washing over her. The look of giving up.

Anthony was wrong to do this to Rayna. He did love her. Deep down he had love for her that had to last forever and beyond. He had to fix this.