Simulations | "what if it was all a simulation..." | After Allegiant

8.

"When her body first hit the net, all I registered was a gray blur. I pulled her across it and her hand was small, but warm, and then she stood before me, short and thin and plain and in all ways unremarkable- except that she had jumped first. The stiff had jumped first.
Even I didn't jump first.
Her eyes were so stern, so insistent.
Beautiful."

After many tears were shed and thoughts were poured out to her mother, it was past noon and Tris knew she had to get back to the compound. She didn't want them to start sending people to look for her thinking that she ran away or did something cowardice. Tris smiled and hugged her mother, and now her father who was back from a council meeting at Candor.

It was on the way back that she remembered him. Four. Tobias.

The man she fell head over heels for and even wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

The man she no longer had.

What she thought they had was nothing now. Sure they had "chemistry", they've had chemistry since the moment she jumped onto the net, and into his arms. But the long-sleepless nights they've had, talking to each other about their troubles were nothing now. It was even possible that Tobias wasn't the man she thought she knew... because whatever she thought she knew was all false. 

All fake.

The moment she reached the entrance into dauntless, she was stopped by a masked guard, "Excuse me ma'am, maybe you should stay out here."

Not paying attention to the extreme familiarity of the voice, she clenched her jaw and said, "Excuse me sir, but I am dauntless, and I should be allowed into my own compound." She pushed passed his bulky body and started towards the dark, rocky cave. But before she could go very far, her arm was grasped by the guard and he pulled her close, their bodies touching.

That's when she recognized the voice, "Tobias?" With his other hand, he pulled his helmet off, revealing his face, beaded with sweat. 

"Yes. It's me, I'm here." He leaned towards her, embracing her. 

All Tris wanted to do was get lost in his arms. He pulled away slightly, and she automatically closed her eyes and expectantly waited for his warm lips to touch her's... but a thought crossed her min. 

She didn't want to kiss him.

She heart yearned for his touch, but something inside her told her it was wrong. The love she had for him couldn't be real, and even if it was real for her... it was most definitely not as real to him. 

She fluttered her eyes open, his lips only moments away, and she turned her head. 

***

Oh snap. Yes that JUST happened. Since this was kind of a really intimate chapter, but with no real dialogue... you'll see that in the next part. 

Please forgive me if my chapters are lacking detail, dialogue, and description. I'm writing in the spur of the moment, like I said earlier and I promise I will go back and edit later (probably when I start losing inspo or when I've finished the book)

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N.R.Blakes