Emeralds

Forty-one.

"How does it look like?" I ask when we're on the way to the hotel.
"What?" Adam asks.
"Berlin."
"Well, Mariam can tell you," I feel Adam shrug, "it's her first time when Ahmed and I have been here before, so we'll probably be boring."

Mariam keeps trying to describe the streets, the buildings, the people. But no matter how hard I try to picture what she is saying, I get nothing but boring pictures I've seen on the internet before, not that I didn't like them then, it's just that no matter how beautiful they are, they don't seem to come to life. They're just pictures.

We get off the taxi and walk into the hotel, Adam checks in as Ahmed leaves to buy a cane. Actually, the more I live with Adam the more I feel like Ahmed is a brother to me. And for Mariam who's been good to me since the very beginning, who understands and helps me, who wants Adam and I to stay together, for a good person like her, I wouldn't have wished for a better person than Ahmed is.

It's early in the noon when we decide to take a nap before the doctor's appointment. An hour later, Ahmed knocks on our door and Adam pulls his legs from the bed to the door to open up.
"The cane," Ahmed says and I hear the sound of a plastic page.
"Thanks Ahmed," Adam says and a moment later he comes back in. "Leen are you sleeping?"
"Not really," I say sitting up in the bed.
"He brought it," he says taking out something from the bag. "Oh, he brought some painkillers for me too." He snorts, "that guy is the best, seriously."

Adam places the cane made of cold metal in my palm, it's really light nonetheless.
"Look," he says, "it can be folded and unfolded," he runs my finger around the pieces and I feel each one is about twenty centimetres. They're all attached together but I can separate the pieces from each other so its a bundle of short tubes so it doesn't take space or annoy me.
"Yeah," I smile, "it's helpful. I need to thank him."

Later in the day, and before the doctor's appointment Adam and I decide to take a walk. We ask Mariam and Ahmed if they want to come; Ahmed says he needs more sleep, and Mariam doesn't actually hear the door knocking to let us ask her. Sometimes I feel guilty for dragging them along all the way from Egypt, I hope they didn't hate me already.

Adam and I walk on the pavement, slowly, carefully, only disturbed by the sound of the cane brushing the ground ahead of me and a car rushing every few seconds.
"Do you wanna eat something?" he asks as he helps me steady myself after stepping on my shoelace.
"Ah, sorry," I say straightening up. "Maybe we'd go for a hot drink, it's a bit cold."
"Okay," he agrees. "There's a good coffeeshop somewhere along this street, let's look for it."
"You look," I say playfully and he gently slabs my arm.

Now that I'm trying to abide by the life with my handicap, I'm starting to feel everything differently like I said before. Now that I want to know what Berlin is like, and after failing to do that, I realise that I wanted the wrong thing. What I should be wanting to know is what Berlin feels like. And that alone makes up a well linked world to my case in my own head. The weather is a bit too beautiful, with a sudden slap of coldness every once in a while, but that only makes it better. There's the smell of clear air, of breathing molecules, of something refreshing. There's the rustle of leaves everywhere, the tickling of a soft sunlight on my face, the voices of people speaking German, a language I don't understand, but it adds an identity to this land I cannot see.

You see, there's a world out there where everyone lives and where I used to live, not that I don't now, but I'm partially plucked from it; and there's a totally different life in my own head. A life where people are identified by their voices, where love and reassurance are not a matter of a look in the eyes, but a sudden grip, a touch of the hand, and guiding arm at your back. A world where there's no light or colours, but when we finally get to feel them. You feel the lit-up sky when your face is warm, you feel the black sky when the air is brisk and the world feels eerie.

Now I can't look at someone's face to know if they love me or if they are sincere, I know by their tones, by the words they hesitate a moment before uttering, by feeling the stress or relief in their voices.

It is indeed a scary world, but I'm starting to cope with its difficulties and that finally shows me the beautiful side. Everyone says I'm amazing for being that optimistic about such an awful incident-that is not exactly how they put it, but that's what it means. However, it's not that I can change my fate, and I don't want to cling to a false hope so I'm not disappointed if it doesn't work and maybe surprised and genuinely happy if it does. Now that I own no power over my new life, the least I can do is enjoy it, especially with such people by my side.

~~~
It's been quite a while and I don't know what's wrong :(
I hope you love this chapter anyway. And I really really wanna thank you for your comments on the last chapter, I was seriously too happy I didn't know how to reply to them :'D you have no idea how that made me feel.
The thing I'll miss the most when this story is over is your comments :( I kept waiting for them all the time.
I just feel the need to thank two readers right now: @r_FaRiHa_zd08 and @nidakamran125 I hope I copied their usernames right O.O
Thank you girls for your support <3

Aaand one very important thing for kdrama lovers, one of my absolute favourite dramas is That Winter The Wind Blows, although I watched it after starting to write the story, it was a great inspiration nonetheless, I re-watched again a couple of days ago, and I love it even more. It's also about a blind girl.

I've talked a lot :D but that's it I promise :D

Nouran.