11/23

Hashtag 02

#MovingOnProject

"Writing and moving on have one common: easier said than done."

-x-

Tic. Toc. Tic. Toc. The ticking was driving Jhing crazy. Malakas naman ang TV ng kapitbahay, rinig ang sigawan ng dalawang babaeng artista na nag-aagawan sa lalaking bida. Still, not enough.

She needed more time.

For her, writing was easy. She knew she's born to weave letters and words, forming powerful sentences to delicate paragraphs, as each resembles life, and stories to be told.

Pero pagkabukas ng laptop, MS word, at pinatong ang daliri sa keyboard – natanga siya.

No words came out from her fingertips, as if her veins decided to not bleed the time she needed it the most.

The first few days of writing ended up in the trash bin. She had a few raw ideas, some were from ages ago. Ang kailangan na lang niya ay ayusin sa isip ang mga ideas to make it a real story.

Like a chef, she needed to cook food using all the ingredients on hand.

But in the middle of trying to cook her ingredients, tinatapon na niya ang lahat sa frustration.

Not enough.

"Writer's block siguro."

When having writer's block, o tinatawag ng iba na 'katamaran', Jhing would binge watch her favorite series. Or read a book; but too much effort. She ended up watching one of her favorite series, and after a season and a half – nganga pa rin.

Two weeks left before the deadline, and still, blank.

Second half na lang, tapos na ako, Fall answered when Jhing asked how her Novella was doing.

Fall wasn't the greatest multitasker ever, hindi rin ang tipo na may mahabang attention span. The reason why Jhing asked Fall was to feel good kapag sinabi nitong, 'hindi pa ako nagsisimula' para makapag-highfive! sila for cramming.

Jhing ended up disappointed.

No high fives for you, Jhing.

Hindi pa ako nakakapagsulat, Jhing admitted.

She was ashamed. Mas marami siyang time! Mas marami siyang ideas! Siya ang pinaka malapit sa company, sa editors, and yet, here she was – doing nothing.

Bakit?! Fall asked.

May mga ideas ako, pero hindi talaga, eh. Nakaapat na sulat bura na ako. Paano mo nakalahati manuscript mo?

Kahit sa chat lang sila magkausap, ramdam ni Jhing ang pagiging proud ni Fall sa sarili when she said, outline! Try mo na, cheat sheet per chapter hanggang ending. Di ka maliligaw.

Controlled 'yun eh, she typed. Malilimitahan yung ideas ko pag ganun. And as a writer, no one wants to write with restriction. Every writer wants freedom.

Sira! Guide lang! Pwedeng tumaliwas pinaka-story sa outline okay.

What's the use of it kung hindi naman pala susundin?

A GIF of a girl rolling eyes animatedly was what she got as reply. She could almost hear Fall's voice saying, ako ba pinaglololoko mo?

Magsulat ka na nga lang!

That's what she tried to do.

And nope. Still nothing.

Frustrated, and coffee in her hand, tulala siyang nakatitig sa pinto ng elevator the next work day. Halos tulala rin siyang nakaakyat sa floor ng office, at naupo sa pwesto, tinitigan ang nag iisang family picture na muntik matakpan ng mga notes sa cork board.