Chapter 31

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Emma, Regina, & Zelena

Emma: So, we all know that your mom is crazy as hell. What are we going to do about her and this plan she has?

Regina: You do realize that this is pretty much out of our hands now, right?

Zelena: Yeah, we're powerful but no match for her. She's a whole different type of crazy and powerful.

Emma: So we're just going to sit back and watch this madness unfold?!

Regina: For once, don't be the hero.

Zelena: We've come to learn that our mother's plans never quite work out the way she thinks they do.

Emma: In other words: Let nature take its course?

Regina: I knew you weren't all that blonde, Swan.

Zelena: Bingo. So stop worrying so much. Even Marian's not worried.

Emma: How's that possible? Hey-wait! That's fucked up, Regina.

Regina: I take it back. It took you way too long to get that.

Zelena: Granny gave her a crossbow with plenty ammo. And you thought I had a crazy glint in my eyes, you should see Marian when someone threatens Roland.

Emma: I'm ignoring you, queenie.

Regina: Call me that again and you'll personally get to experience Fireball Friday. So I take it everything is all good in your neck of the woods, sis?

Zelena: Oh yes. Wait! Marian says Robin just told her he's on his way because he doesn't want mother corrupting his child.

Emma: Fireball Friday? And too late for that.

Regina: Great. More problems. A senile mother, a childish sheriff, a rebellious son and now a confused thief. Can anything else go wrong?

Zelena: You should also probably talk to Maleficent and apparently your daughter?

Emma: Oh yeah! How does that even work?

Regina: I forgot about Mal! Oh hell, I need to go!

Rumple & Neal

Rumple: Bae, it's a little girl.

Neal: What's a little girl?

Rumple: The baby. Your sister. Remember, Belle was pregnant for nine months?

Neal: OOOOH! That's amazing Papa! A little girl.

Rumple: It truly is. She looks so much like you did as a baby.

Neal: Aww Papa.

Rumple: But don't think that this joyous occasion has distracted from the fact that you told Emma about the serum.

Neal: ....I think you should be more focused on Belle and the baby. They deserve ALL your attention for the next...20 years.

Rumple: I'd be a selfish father if I didn't pay any attention to my first born.

Neal: No no, that's okay. I'm a big boy now.

Rumple: Oh no, you'll always be my little Bae.

Neal: I'm in trouble aren't I?

Rumple: Lots.

Erin & Henry

Erin: HENRY!

Henry: WHAT'S WRONG?!

Erin: Why haven't I heard from you in days?

Henry: Sorry. Been stuck in the White Room?

Erin: What the hell is the White Room?

Henry: Okay so you remember that day you came over when no one was home and I showed you a locked door?

Erin: Yeah.

Henry: Behind it is a room, the walls and ceilings are white, no windows and the only object in the room is a white chair.

Erin: So you're basically in time out?

Henry: Can we not call it that? I prefer the term 'forced isolation'.

Erin: But in reality you're just in time out for being a bad boy.

Henry: Does no one respect that I'm almost a man?!

Erin: Aww Hen Hen. I think that's cute.

Henry: I swear to- You do?

Erin: Yeah. It's obvious you didn't do anything too stupid or dangerous. Plus if you're locked in a room with no windows, no way of anyone knowing what you're doing, maybe I should come over and keep you company.

Henry: You always have the best ideas.

Erin: I know. You'd be lost without me.

Henry: Such confidence. You'll need it if my mom catches us.

Erin: I'm not worried about her. Plus your grandmother said she's leaving for the rest of the day so we have plenty of time to spend together.

Henry: I'm afraid to ask what else you and my grandmother have been talking about.

Erin: I can show you better than I can tell you.

Henry: BLESS.

Maleficent & Lily

Maleficent: Is everything okay sweetheart?

Lily: I guess so. I mean, this town is full of freaks, excluding you, but it's nothing I haven't become used to.

Maleficent: I agree that it does have its...quirks, but it's the only place where we actually fit in.

Lily: So you want to stay?

Maleficent: I don't really have much of a choice in the matter. But seeing as you do, I hope you'll stick around. I really would like to get to know my only daughter.

Lily: Only if you promise that the crazy woman will leave me alone.

Maleficent: Which crazy woman, dear? There are plenty.

Lily: I can't think of her name right now.

Maleficent: Snow? Cruella? Cora?

Lily: Cora! But those other two too.

Maleficent: Don't you worry about them, they won't be bothering you.

Lily: Okay. Then I'll stay. I really do want to know more about you.

Maleficent: Perfect. How about I make us some dinner after my nap and we'll talk about anything you want to know.

Lily: Nap? Mom, aren't you like 40?

Maleficent: Why does everyone think only old people nap? And I may have the body of a 40 year old but I'm much older.

Lily: Because most of the time only old people nap.

Maleficent: Well being a dragon is tiring. You'll find that out soon enough. Does 8 sound good?

Lily: Yeah that's good. I'll bring wine.

Maleficent: See you then, sweetheart.

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