Uta-Pri: New History

Chapter 7 (Jun Megumi)

Chapter 7 (Jun Megumi)

The questions I was getting was never ending. I got so many phone calls from different reporters asking me about my relationship with my father and why Akiko threatened him so openly, eventually I turned off my phone and decided I would have to get a new number. "Hey Jun," I was sitting outside when Masato came up to me.

"Hey," I replied. "Sit if you want to." He quietly sat down next to me. "If you ask, I'll be forced to hit you."

"I wasn't going to ask," he replied. "Have the others been asking?"

"Ittoki and Natsuki mainly, the others have been just looking at me like they want to ask, but don't have the guts to. Ryuu won't get off my back either and Syo... Syo wants to know, he knows I'm holding back, but I just can't."

"I think he will understand, they all will," he assured.

"You sure? Part of me... part of me wants you guys to know, part of me wants to tell you all everything and the other part wants to keep it so buried that no one else ever finds out. And it's just warring inside of me and now... now I can't even write. Writing always helped me figure out what I was feeling and what to do and now I can't even write a single lyric. I can't write anything."

"Artists get blocks Jun, it happens to all of us," he comforted.

"Not to me. I've been writing since I was a kid and when I need to write the most I can't. Akiko is finishing songs and I've been trying to find old lyrics that will work because I can't write anything new. And I know it's only been a day, I think, but I feel like this has been going on for a while."

"You can ask for help from us, any of us."

"No I can't. Asking for help means I can't do it, it means I'm weak and I can't it on my own and if I can't handle writing a simple song, how can I do anything?"

"That's not what it means. Everyone needs help sometime Jun, no one can handle everything on their own."

"I can. I have to go Masato, it was good talking to you, see you later," I said as I stood up and walked away. I was aimlessly walking around and I felt a pair of arms around my waist, pulling me to a stop.

"You're distracted," Syo commented and I smiled.

"Aren't I always? I'm an idol," I replied as I turned around in his embrace and put my arms around his neck.

"Jun," he warned.

"I'm fine Syo, really. I was just thinking, you know how I get," I replied, but he still looked worried. I leaned forward and kissed him,

"Nice try Jun," he said as he pulled back. I took a deep breath and stepped out of his embrace.

"I've just been busy. Between the movie, interviews, the band, writing... I could use a break, we all could. But it can't happen. Not with Modern Classic just really getting popular and you guys can never take a break with all of your commitments. How do you do it Syo? How do you keep going?"

"Well my friends help because we push each other to be better, Nanami is a help because she encourages us, and then there's you who always makes me feel better. Focus on what's good Jun, don't focus on the stress or how much there is, if you do that you'll go mad."

"Maybe you're right."

"I am right. I am always right."

I laughed at this. "Sure you are."

"Come on. I was right in that you are a good actress, that we had feelings for each other, that something is wrong. I am proven right again and again. And think Jun, we will get a break when Ittoki and Akiko get married."

"So we get a break in a few years? That's not long," I joked and it was his turn to laugh. "Speaking of them, have you seen Akiko today? She hasn't been around."

"Nope, but she's got work of her own. Maybe Shining sent her off to do something," he replied.

"Yeah maybe," I agreed.

"You worry too much," he sighed.

"I worry, it's my job. If I don't then no one will," I replied.

"Don't worry Nanami is a very good worrier and the rest of us are fair at it, so don't worry about worrying," he assured and I just rolled my eyes. I looked into his eyes and could tell he was still worried. I sighed.

"You talked to Masato didn't you?" I asked and he looked down at the ground and I moved away from him. "I'm fine Syo. Really. I'm just busy like I said, once things calm down a bit I'll write again."

"That's not what you told Masato."

"I shouldn't have told him anything, I'm seeing that now."

"Jun, don't be like that."

"Like what? I shouldn't have told him anything, I should never have mentioned it at all."

"Like that. Closing yourself off, you do that too much. You don't have to be perfect, you can ask for help, you can make mistakes, and you can have writer's block."

"Don't you see Syo? I do, I do have to be perfect and strong. I have to be strong for Akiko because her life is crazy messed up, I have to be strong for my mom and my sister because my dad just won't leave us alone and I can't have them worrying about me, I have to be perfect for Shining and Modern Classic because I am an idol and I don't have a choice, I have to have the perfect lyrics for Akiko's songs because she works so hard on all of them. So can't you see Syo? I can't make mistakes, I can't break down, I can't have writer's block. Those aren't options for me. You guys, you guys can do that. I have to pick up the pieces and make you guys feel better, that is my job."

"Jun, you can't think that."

"Can't I? Think about it Syo, really think about it. It's true, you know it is." I took a deep breath and walked away from him. "I need to be alone and don't you dare tell anyone else about my block."