If Only

Chapter 34 - Every Single Time

What's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it?

Every minute and every hour

I miss you, I miss you, I miss you

-Bastille; Good Grief

*~~~~&~~~~*

Greyson POV

I could feel the gazes of the central patrol trained on my back as I entered the packhouse, an eager curiosity filling all of their prying eyes to the brim. It had been that way for weeks now, and it was becoming more and more difficult to hold them off.

My original plan when it had come to Sammy was to keep her ignorant to the responsibilities she had been granted the second I discovered she was my mate. To keep it separate from her unless one day – or until the day, depending on how optimistic I was – she wanted to stand by my side as Luna.

But when she showed up here nearly a month ago, bruised and beaten and...

I cut myself off before my anger began to spiral.

When she had shown up here, the guards on duty had caught much more than a passing glimpse of her. They had seen anger and desperation on my face, the raw emotion that I never allowed to be seen by anyone besides my inner circle on occasion. But those two guards, they had seen it all.

And before I had the chance to order them into silence, to tell them that what they had seen was to be kept locked in their minds until I said otherwise...they had told others.

Not many, thankfully, but the higher-ups in my pack – the ones who frequented the packhouse and held good standing and respect, such as the healers and top-warriors. And they had pieced it all together by the time I had gone to them.

They were shocked, same as I had been, upon discovering my mate was human. But that shock only lasted a few minutes until it was quickly filled with overwhelming curiosity and hope. Hope for a Luna, something they had been deprived of for so long.

I understood that, God, did I understand that, but that didn't stop me from enforcing a gag order. Nobody was allowed to spread word of her existence, not until she was ready, and I knew that my pack would follow that command that I had set.

They knew the consequences wouldn't be particularly appealing if they didn't.

But there was only so much I could do when it came to their excitement.

I couldn't count on both hands the amount of times I had caught one of them staring at her from afar when she left for work or school or even stepped out onto the porch. She hadn't caught them yet, but I knew it was only a matter of time before she could feel their stares burning into her back and grew curious.

I heard Lizzy's quiet, emotion filled voice from the couch as I closed the door behind me.

"...think I should go up there or just leave her be?"

"I'm not sure, love," Zane responded, the brightness that was normally in his tone long gone.

"I mean...I don't want to press. She's not the biggest chatter about her feelings and we've been pushing her enough as it is lately," she continued, and I swallowed harshly as I slowly came to understand the situation.

I rounded the corner, and their eyes shot to me as they realized I had heard their conversation.

"Where is she?"

"Her room. She was supposed to go to class, but she hasn't left all day," Zane answered, straight to the point and causing me to glance at the clock to see that it was already five o clock.