If Only

Chapter 20 - Not Afraid

Aren't we just terrified?

-Bon Iver & St. Vincent; Rosalyn

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Sammy POV

"Hey," Greyson's voice called out to me happily, Zane and Will trailing behind him as I parked my car next to Lizzy's. "Didn't know you were gonna be able to make it tonight."

He walked up to my car, a grin on his face that was so wide I wasn't sure this was actually Greyson. He looked so happy. I internally sighed, knowing how much I was about to ruin that for him.

Sounds about right.

I wasn't sure if the voice in my head was mine or Tyson's.

I finally had my car in park and allowed my head to fully slump backwards against the seat. My breaths were shallow and it took everything in me to open the car door, my blood smearing across the interior. I looked at my hand shakily and placed it against the door, pushing my body out of the car and to my unsteady feet with a painful groan.

My entire body was trembling, my adrenaline completely dissipated as I leaned against my car for any type of support. Greyson, Marco and Zane's faces seemed to drop as they watched me, rushing forward and closing the small distance that was left between us.

"I... I didn't know where else to go," I finally croaked, Greyson reaching me just as my legs seemed to give out from beneath me.

He quickly swept me up into his arms as if I weighed nothing, allowing me to slump my head against his chest. My entire body seemed to untense as I came into contact with the sparks once again. Except this time, they weren't just shooting through my hand, but coursing through my whole body.

"Sammy," he rasped, his tone rivalling between concern and anger. "Fuck. No, no. Fuck, what happened?"

"I'm sorry," I breathed, and even my words sounded wrong, like they weren't even coming from me.

I felt my eyes start to close for what felt like the hundredth time tonight, snapping it forward and forcing myself to stay awake. I had to stay awake. I couldn't remember why anymore, but I knew I had a good reason. I let myself lean even more on him for support, unshed tears filling my eyes to the brim. I glanced up to see Zane and Marco beside us with looks of rage I had never seen from them before.

"Oh my God," Marco breathed, bringing his hand to cover his mouth in shock.

"What... how..." Zane trailed off, taking in my broken form.

"Who the fuck did this?" Greyson demanded, his rage flowing off of him in waves. The fury in his tone made me curl into myself further, as if I could hide from any more violence that may be thrown my way.

"Tell me it isn't who I think..." Zane growled, and I saw Greyson and Marco staring at me intently.

I looked up towards them before dropping my gaze to the ground. The boys let out a string of curses underneath their breath, but I just ignored it for now. I couldn't talk about this, not yet. I took in a shuddering breath, hissing through my teeth at the pain.

"Ribs," I mumbled, feeling my eyes droop once again. Do not fall asleep, I told myself. "Think...something broke this time."

"This time?" Zane raged, his words like fire and so unlike him.

"Keep your eyes open, Sammy. Okay? Can you do that for me darlin'?" Greyson pleaded, and it felt odd to hear him sound so... desperate. We were moving now, and soon enough I heard a familiar feminine rasp.