If Only

Chapter 14 - Point of No Return

"At least stay the night, alright. Nothing good will come out of you leaving right now," Lizzy insisted, not knowing how much worse it could be if I stayed. I opened my mouth to argue, but shut it before I could think of anything to say. They weren't going to let me leave.

"I need a minute," I said quietly, walking away and into the bathroom down the hall.

I shut the door behind me, making sure it was locked before I let the tears fall and slumped against the door. I hated myself so much for putting them in this position. I knew I was selfish, because a good person would've cut all ties with them the first time Tyson ever threatened them. They didn't understand how close Tyson was with guys like Josh, with guys much worse than Josh. The past few months he had only been digging himself deeper, and I was fairly certain he'd hit a point of no return.

The contact in my right eye started burning again and I looked into the mirror to find that eye to be slightly red and irritated. I gently grabbed the contact and pulled it out of my eye, letting it go down the sink. I bit down on my lip, preventing my silent tears from turning into the full blown breakdown I was on the verge of having.

I just wanted all of this to stop. To stop having to lie to my friends in order to protect them. To stop having to hide the bruises and the pain. To stop having to live in fear, overthinking every breath I take, wondering if Tyson was going to make it one of my last.

My body shuddered at the brutal thought. I quickly opened the lid to the toilet, throwing up the burgers I had consumed earlier. I ran my hands through my hair, my fingers getting caught in the tangled curls. I reached forward to flush the toilet, standing up despite my wobbly legs.

I looked at my reflection and practiced a smile, making sure it wasn't too fake. My makeup from the other night remained in place, not showing any bruises that had been left behind, proving that nothing was wrong.

I was fine.

I was fine.

I heard a light knocking on the door and took a deep breath. I wiped at my eyes one last time, hoping they didn't look too red as I opened up the door.

Expecting to see Lizzy, I was shocked to find Greyson instead. He still seemed angry, but he wasn't overflowing with rage like he had been earlier. Instead, he looked at me the same way he had when he found the cut on my hand. Concern, I realized.

"I'm so sorry. You didn't have to do that," I told him honestly, still not sure why he had stood up for me like that in the first place.

"Don't say sorry for that piece of shit," he seethed, his anger seeming to raise again slightly.

I wasn't sure how to respond to that, so I just glanced down, finding his knuckles slightly red over. Tyson's blood still smeared across his hand.

"Does he talk to you like that a lot?" Greyson suddenly ground out, gritting his teeth as he asked as if he was in physical pain. My cheeks burned red, embarrassment creeping up my spine again.

"No, no. He's just drunk," I lied, shaking off the question. It's what I did best; lie, speak half-truths and avoid giving out answers.

Greyson didn't seem to buy it, staring at me like he knew every secret I had. Too close. All of them. But especially him.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, hoping to shift the topic off of Tyson and I as I gestured towards his hand.

"You're asking me if I'm okay?" he asked, letting out a short and humorless laugh as he ran his hand along the scruff on his jaw. I shrugged my shoulders, nodding yes in response. He was the one who had gotten in a fight, not me.

"I'm fine, Sammy," he assured me, my stomach doing flips hearing the way he said my name. I needed to pull myself together.

"Are you?" he asked, taking in my red eyes and general unease.

I was already answering his question before I even realized what I was saying.

"I'm fine," I answered, the familiar taste of lies and half-truths on my tongue.

I was terrified of what was to come, of the retribution that Tyson was surely going to deliver. But I was fine. I had to be. For them, I would be.

"You don't have to lie, not to me," he responded, his tone becoming soft. I wondered if he realized how much of a liar I really was.

"I'm not," I said, giving that practiced smile again.

He didn't shoot me his grin in return though, instead his lips remained in a straight line. He nodded his head once, accepting the answer, but the way he continued to stare at me made me think that he wasn't going to allow me credence much longer.