Mysterious ways

Chapter 12

After cleaning themselves up, they fall asleep wrapped around each other in pure peace.

Or so Lydia thinks.

When she wakes up in the early morning, Stiles is already dressed and is sitting on the chair by the desk putting his shoes on. Why would he be up without her? There's a little panic in her voice when she calls for him. "Stiles?"

He turns around on his seat to face her, the corners of his lips lifting just a little. "Hey."

It wasn't much of a smile and Lydia gets concerned, so she sits up on the mattress promptly. "Hey, is everything okay?"

"Yeah. I'm just going for a walk. Why don't you go back to sleep?"

She knows he's not telling her everything. "I'll go with you."

Stiles stands up quickly. "No, I... There's something I want to do." He shortens the distance between them to kiss her forehead and starts walking away towards the stairs. "I'll take an hour tops, alright?"

She can tell that something's up. He's obviously nervous. "Stiles, is something wrong?"

"No, it's just... There's something I have to do." He mutters, an assertive tone in his voice.

Now that Lydia is paying more attention, Stiles seems more conflicted than anxious. She's the one who's nervous now. "Should I be worried?"

"No, of course not. Just... Just go back to bed, okay? And I'll be back in no time, promise."

He tries to sound confident but is mostly avoiding her gaze, so she's not convinced. His voice failed him somewhere in the middle of his sentences. "Stiles..." Getting up from the bed, Lydia all but runs towards him. He's already on the first step of the stairs when she reaches him and Stiles is about her height like this, so Lydia wraps her arms around his shoulders and hugs him. Stiles buries his face on the crook of her neck. "Please, talk to me."

"I will, Lydia, but..."

His voice is so tense that she whispers. "But there's something you need to do first, I got it. Can I at least know where you're going?"

He distances himself from her enough to rest his forehead against hers and look her in the eyes. Lydia sees that he's teary. His arms are wrapped tightly around her waist and she notices how he's shaking slightly. "I'm not even leaving the property. And I'm taking Scott with me. It'll be okay."

"Are you okay?" She asks with pleading eyes, her voice coming out hoarse. Something is definitely wrong and it's scaring her, and Lydia is not sure which of them is about to cry first.

It's Stiles. A single tear rolls down his cheek and Lydia catches it, wiping it swiftly. "I'm sorry, I-" He's breaking down and taking her with him and she has no idea why. "I don't know. Lydia, I- I don't know anything. I just-"

She can't help but to start crying too, holding him as close as she can as he falls apart, not knowing what he's so afraid of. She only lets go of him, and not completely, when he stops crying altogether even though his breathing is still erratic. She cups his cheeks. "Hey, breathe, alright? Look at me, Stiles. I'm right here."

Stiles steadies his breathing through hers, inhaling and exhaling whenever Lydia does until he's calmer. She smiles encouragingly at him and he feels nothing but grateful so he brings his lips to hers. Stiles kisses her slowly, careful, fearful that if he does it in any other way his reality might slip through his fingers. Lydia kisses him back, also cautious at his apprehension. When they part and he looks back at her, Stiles seems embarrassed, his cheeks flushed. "I'm so sorry, Lydia. I didn't want you to..."

Lydia kisses him again with the same rhythm as before and he melts at her touch. "Never apologize for something like that." She murmurs breathless, her lips brushing his. They look at each other like they are intoxicated. "Never, you hear me? I love you."

At her last words it's like a switch is flicked.

His eyes lose their spark and she knows, Lydia just knows he'll leave her.

Stepping away from her and moving down another step, Stiles looks up at her upset, disconcerted. "I'm so sorry, Lydia. I can't, I- I'm sorry."

In a second, Lydia is left standing alone, speechless and frozen in place, her mind running frantic.