Teach Me How to Love

Chapter 5 It's 11:11 Make A Wish

All night I laid there staring at the wall. It surprised me when my room flooded with the darkness of night and slowly became brighter as the sun rose. I couldn't move, I was too empty to. I'm not scared, I'm not sad, and I'm not dead. But then again, I wasn't fully alive either. I guess I'm just existant. What I mean by that is, I'm here but I don't have a purpose. After a long while of laying on the edge of my bed, I swung my legs over the side and stood. I'm surprised I can even stand. I walked to my large window on the other side of the room and looked outside. Everywhere I looked things were just bursting with life. There were birds flying through the air and landing on the small trees lining the streets. Flowers were beginning to bloom and bees jumped from each one. Little boys and girls played in the backyards that were surrounded by white fences. Joggers went up and down the sidewalk giving each other smiles and a polite hello before going their separate ways. I wish I could be that happy. I walked back to my bed searching for my phone. Soon enough, I felt the cold surface touch my fingertips. I pulled it out from under the warm blanket and checked the time, 11:09. *Harry's POV* I didn't get much sleep last night. All I could think about was Celeste and all the pain she must be in. I want to help her so badly, but how do I help a girl that is already broken? I turned over and looked at the small alarm clock next to my bed, 11:09. *Celeste's POV* It's times like this where I remembered my childhood. Every 11:11 I would wish for everything to be okay and my life to be normal like every other little boys and girls'. Deep down I knew it never would be, not in this life anyway. I watched the time change to 11:10, the time for a wish drawing closer. *Harry's POV* I always like to wish on 11:11. Although nothing usually happened, it still gave me hope that maybe something would change. I checked again to see only one minute left, I began to think of what I want. Only one thing came to my mind. *Celeste's POV* 11:11 I guess it's time... I closed my eyes and began to wish. I wish for a savior to help me through my life. Someone who can help me see the beauty in everything. *Harry's POV* I wish for me to be able to help Celeste. I want her to be able to live a normal life. *Celeste's POV* 11:12 It's over now. My wish was made and nothing happened. Nothing felt different about me or my life. Things are going to stay the same. I went downstairs and made myself the usual breakfast; eggs and toast. I heard the front door open and close before footsteps came through the front hall. Through the kitchen door came Kayla, Ann, and Louis, wide smiles on their faces. "Hey girl!" Louis said before jumping up on the counter. "What are you doing today?" Kayla asked in a peppy voice. "Umm I don't know. I was just gonna sleep." I replied with a straight face. I wasn't really planning on doing anything today. Or tomorrow. I don't even want to go to school on Monday. "You have to stop doing this to yourself," Ann warned me, "it's not healthy." I sighed and looked her in the eyes. "Stop trying to get me to stop this. I had an umm interesting night last night and I'm a little worn out." "Ohhhhhh what did you do?" Louis teased. "Lou stop it! I'm not in the mood!" "Woah, okay I think it's time to leave guys," Kayla said walking to the door. They followed behind her. "Call me later," she yelled before walking out. Just then, I heard Oliver coming down the stairs. He waltzed into the kitchen and gave me a hug. "Are you okay from last night?" Shit. He knew. "Yeah I'm fine don't worry about it." I lied. "Okay well I have to go look for a job now, I love you." He grabbed his keys and left. Once again I heard his car start up and leave. It still had that loud rumble from years and years ago. I'm left in the house again. Alone. ~~~ Here I am again. Laying in bed by myself. No one is here to comfort me. No one is here to make me feel better. No one is here to tell me it'll all be okay. But it's my fault they're gone. I pushed them away. I hate myself for doing it, but I couldn't stop or help myself. When they are gone I miss them, but when they're here I just want to be left alone. I needed to make up my mind. It's dark again and Oliver still isn't home. He's probably out partying and having the time of his life, something I will never be able to do. After hours of laying in silence, completely still, I managed to look at my phone for the time. 10:56PM I groaned before standing up from the warmth of my bed. Looking down, I realized I'm still in my clothes from last night. I checked my drawers for pajamas to wear, I found a pair of soft teal pants and a black tank top. I changed and went to the living room, dialing Kayla's number in the process. "Hello?" She answered. "Where are you? Are you with Ann or Lou?" "Yeah they're right here, why?" "Can you guys come over? I-I want someone to be here." There was a long silence. "You're out aren't you?" "We're just getting ready to see a movie. Do you want to come?" "No I'm fine. I just figured I would invite you guys over bye." I hung up the phone before she could say anything else. This is what I get for telling them to leave this morning. God dammit! I laid on the soft sofa and cried into the arm. My face became soaked, the cushions seemed to catch my tears and shove them back into my face, not wanting to touch me or anything related to me. It's time to face reality, I'm a worthless piece of shit and no one wants me. Why am I still even here? Life isn't worth it anymore. I'M not worth it anymore. I should just end it while I can. With this thought in my mind, I walked back to my kitchen standing at the counter, staring at my weapon. I knew if this day came I would use this. It would be painful but pleasuring. So this is it, my time has come and gone. "I love you all," I spoke out loud to no one in particular. That was for Oliver, Ann, Kayla, and Louis. No one else came to mind. I picked up the sharp knife and stared at it for a moment. I spun the black handle in my hand while looking at the sharp blade and my reflection in it. My slightly tan skin and brown eyes were shown whenever the flat side faced me. My long brown hair cascading down the sides of my face, as I looked down I saw that it reached just above my hips. This is it. I moved the point down to my stomach and closed my eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. "Goodbye," I whispered, suddenly opening my eyes and looking at the ceiling. Saturday, December 2, 2012. Looking at the clock to see the time, I realized it is now 11:11. Please, I wish, if it's not too late, send me a savior. I tightly gripped the black handle and pulled it out and away from me one last time. A tear slipped from my eye and landed on the top of my shirt. Suddenly I heard a knock. "Celeste?" There was a muffled voice coming from the front door. There was more knocking and I began to panic. I threw the knife down on the counter and opened the door a crack. "Harry? What are you doing here?" He was wearing a black jacket and black jeans. It perfectly described my mood. He looked at the half of my face that was showing, the door blocking most of it. "I don't know, I wanted to make sure you were okay. Can-can I come in," he said awkwardly while looking around. I couldn't let him in, but I couldn't let him stand there. "Umm yeah, c-come in," I stuttered letting him in. He walked in and I shut the door. He gave me a hug as he saw me. When he stepped back, he noticed my facial expression. "What's wrong?" He said, his face softening. "Nothing don't worry about it," I unconvincingly stated. "I don't buy it, now tell me what's wrong." "Harry, please don't worry about it I'm fine." I let another tear fall. He stepped closer and looked down on me. "Don't lie to me Celeste. Tell me what was going on." I sighed frustrated and walked to the kitchen again. "Don't walk away from me I just want to help!" Harry called following me. "I'm not walking away from you!" I stood at the counter, knife in my hand. Now it's time to tell someone. "This is what was going on," I said as I turned to face Harry. *Harry's POV* "Don't walk away from me I just want to help!" I was getting angrier. Why doesn't she just tell me? She stomped over to the kitchen counter, "I'm not walking away from you! This is what's going on." She turned to me, her eyes still focused on the knife in her hands. Was she really going to do this to herself? "Celeste?" I walked closer to her, watching as she cried silently. "Are you-are you umm-" "Suicidal? Yes I am." She sounded a little disappointed in herself. "Why?" "Why shouldn't I be?" She chuckled to herself and looked me in the eyes. "Everything else is gone why can't I go with them?" She laughed more. "Everything is mad and so am I so I need to go now." She grabbed the knife with both hands and pulled it away from herself. No. I grabbed it and pulled it out of her hands. She looked at me, then at the knife, then to my hands. They were holding a bloody knife... *Celeste's POV* He took it from me. He grabbed the knife right out of my hands. I looked at him confused and mad. I looked down at the knife, soon noticing his hands. Harry's RED hands. He grabbed the blade instead of the handle and he is now bleeding. He followed my stare and jumped causing him to drop the knife to the floor. The blood. The knife. The sound of the cold hard blade hitting the ground. It all reminded me of HIM. *Flashback 9 years* HE walked up to me as I sat on the kitchen counter. The day was young and the sun was still shining bright, I didn't expect it to happen this early, but it did. "What am I going to do today?" He talked to himself while pacing back and forth in front of me. He searched the kitchen looking for inspiration. His eyes found the light reflecting off of the knife lying on the counter. "Perfect." He picked it up and came back to me. I began to shake again as he ran the flat part of the blade across my cheek. "Are you scared again?" I shook my head in response. He chuckled deeply and looked at the ground, his brown curly hair covering his normally green eyes. When he looked back up, they were black again. "What's going on in here?" She said walking in the door. She was always the one to stop what was going to happen to me and got the pain passed on to her. She looked at the situation and instantly caught on. "No!" She screamed and ran over to me. She pushed him out of the way and picked me up off the counter. She began walking away while I wrapped my small arms around her neck. I saw him coming up behind us and stab her in the back. She instantly stopped and dropped me to the ground, luckily landing on my feet. Her on the other hand, fell to her knees and cried in pain. I looked back at HIM as he smiled at what he'd done. His hands were red with blood along with the knife. He looked at it as if thanking it for doing what it did before dropping it. I looked down at the shriveled up woman on the floor, sobbing with her hands reaching around to her back to the wound. He knelt down but looked up at me. "Thank you. Thank you for allowing me to do this. You're the one who caused it." He smiled that devilish smile. He looked back down at her, still silently thanking me. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." *Present* I cried out more and dropped to the floor, my back hitting the side of the counter. Harry still stood there with a blank face. I caused this. It was my fault he hurt himself. *Harry's POV* I dropped the knife to the ground and stared at Celeste. It looked as though she was going into shock, funny because I was too. I couldn't move. The new cut on my hands gave me a strange feeling. I've never quite experienced something like this. It was scary, painful, but tranquil. When I say tranquil I don't mean the good kind, it was far from good but something about it was peaceful. I can't really describe the feeling it gave me, but it sure as hell was weird. Celeste dropped to the ground and I stared at her. I wasn't sure what to do at the moment, I was just in complete and utter shock. "I'm sorry!" She screamed. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it!" More tears poured from her eyes as she looked at me for help. "Don't just stand there say something!" I stepped closer and sat down next to her. There was now a puddle of blood on the floor we're sitting in. I turned my head and she did the same, we stared at each other for the longest time. Soon enough reality set back in and pain shot through my body, causing me to scream. It startled Celeste and she jumped back a bit. "Help me," I choked out while grabbing my hands trying to stop the bleeding. She quickly stood and searched through the drawers, soon pulling out a first aid kit. "Stand up," she commanded. I could tell she was scared and confused about what to do. I did as she said and she guided me to the sink. She turned on the water and stuck my hands under it. This stung badly but I knew it had to be done. I let the cool liquid flow over the cuts on my hands, watching the bloody water drain down the sink. I looked to my side as Celeste was watching me. It looked as though she was wondering what I was thinking. I hope she doesn't know that even while crying and being afraid, she still looked beautiful. She soon turned off the faucet and opened the box. She took out scissors, two big bandages, and tape. Before wrapping my hands she dried them off with paper towels, being careful around the tender area. She wrapped the bandages around my hands and taped the ends up. "Thank you," I mouthed when she was done. She nodded accepting my thanks. We stood in the kitchen not exactly what to do next. I wasn't sure whether or not I should leave, it seems as though every time I come I cause more pain to Celeste. Thinking it through, I decided it was the best thing to do. I walked to the door and opened it to leave. "Where are you going?" Celeste's voice came from behind me. I turned in the doorway to see her standing about ten feet away still holding back tears. "Home," I said simply. "B-but why?" "I don't want to upset you again." I watched as her head dropped to look at the floor, her hair falling to cover up her entire face. "You aren't the one upsetting me, I am." Closing the door, I walked back to her and grabbed ahold of her arms. "Then what else am I supposed to do?" She raised her head to look at me again, "Stay." *Celeste's POV* I didn't exactly know why I wanted Harry to stay with me, maybe because I was just lonely, maybe not. --- We laid on my bed staring at the ceiling not saying a word. I must admit it was pretty awkward knowing that I barely even knew Harry yet he was laying on my bed with me. As if reading my mind he spoke. "Tell me more about yourself," he turned to look at me. I did the same as I thought about his question. "Umm I'm 17, my birthday is July 11, I like dogs, and I'm emotionally unstable. Your turn." "I'm 18, my birthday is Febuary 2, I like cats, and I'm also emotionally unstable." The last piece of information stunned me. Nothing about Harry seemed wrong. He looked as though he had the perfect life. "How are you emotionally unstable?" He paused and avoided my eye contact. "I have a pretty messed up life Celeste." "I'll listen." "I don't exactly have a dad anymore, I lost contact with my sister when she ran away at 14, my mom needs my help constantly, I have terrible grades because I'm as dumb as shit," he tensed up, " I have no talent, I can't find any friends, everything I've ever had, I lost!" It was shocking how much we have in common. "Harry, don't be upset. You and I, we aren't that different. I don't have a family anymore, my brother just came back to me but you already knew that, I don't have the best grades either because I'm constantly dragging myself down, I can't find a job, I only have three friends, and like you, I've lost everything." "Wow." "That's it? That's all you're gonna say?" "Well I-I don't know how to-what am I-" I burst out laughing. "Your face!" I screamed pointing at him. "You were freaking out! I scared you! Oh my god!" I couldn't contain my laughs. "Okay okay it's not that funny," Harry said slightly embarrassed. I watched as his cheeks turned a slight pink color. "Aww Harry I'm sorry I didn't mean to embarrass you, I'm sorry," I spoke as small giggles escaped. "How about a movie?" He nodded his head and showed his bright smile. "Then go get one," I pointed to the chest at the end of my bed. It was full of movies. He stood and looked through the many choices. Minutes later he threw The Notebook down on the bed. "Really? You wanna watch this?" "Why not?" He asked as he sat back down next to me. "Fine," I popped the disc in and sat back down with Harry.  As the movie went on I realized that it was really sad. I'd never watched this movie before and now I know why. I didn't realize I was crying, but Harry did. "Are you okay?" He asked with a hint of worry in his voice. I nodded my head yes. "Don't try to hide it, it's okay to cry sometimes." He snaked his arm around my back and pulled me to his side. I rested my head on him while he wrapped his arm around me. It was comfortable and warm. HE is comfortable and warm. The movie ended and the room went black when Harry shut the tv off. He moved down so we were now laying flat. "Go to sleep," he whispered into my ear. I did as I was told and soon found myself drifting into a dream state wrapped in the arms of one of my worst fears. I found it ironic though, my nightmare was also the savior I wished for. 11:11 finally worked for me. 11:11 gave me my wish. 11:11 sent me my savior. Thank you 11:11.