Sneaking Around (Nate Maloley)

Chapter 28

"Vanessa" Nate said, grabbing my chin lightly and making me face him.

"Huh?" I asked and he chuckled.

"Are you done?" He asked and I'm guessing for the second time.  I looked down and noticed that I had finished my sandwich and I would just take my chips with me.

"Yeah" I nodded.  He picked up my plate and threw everything in the garbage and we all walked out to the car and I got to sit in the passenger seat this time.  

"Are you okay?" Nate asked, resting his hand on my thigh as he drove towards his house.

"Yeah I'm just thinking" I said and he sighed.

"Don't think too much about this. If you don't want to it's really fine it was honestly just a stupid random thought" Nate said and Sammy nodded in agreement.

"Yeah don't drive yourself crazy over this" He said and I nodded.  We got back to the house and Sam was going to go out with the guys and Nate was just laying on the couch watching tv.  I was in his room laying on his bed and playing on my phone, checking my email to see if Kyle had time to email me yet but he hasn't and I understand.  I decided since I have nothing else to do I'll send him an email.

Hey Kyle :) so you really haven't even been gone that long, four days to be exact.  I miss you like crazy but you probably already knew that.  Cindy had the twins right after we dropped you off.  I fell asleep on the way home and Tommy woke me up and we were at the hospital.  Their names are Ethan and Aiden and they're identical but you can tell them apart, there's tiny differences.

Oh you'll love this.  Dad kicked me out and then regretted it but I'm fine I'm at Nate and Sammy's and I'll be fine with them.  Nate's family has a cabin somewhere so Nate and I are going for the weekend 'cause he said I needed to take a break and relax.  

There really hasn't been much else going on to be honest.  Nate stayed at the house while dad was with Cindy at the hospital and he finally got to come to a fire. Dad doesn't know Nate was at the house at all, he knows were still friends because it came up in one of the arguments and so did the tattoo.  I'm not sure if I told you about that but if not, now you know! Your baby sister has a tattoo. 

Yeah, okay that's really all I needed to fill you in on so far.  I'll keep you updated don't worry and maybe I could vent in some of these emails and maybe that will release some of my anger, and you've always told me no matter what that I could talk to you.  Whether your here or across the ocean.  I love and miss you so much.  Be safe please.

Love, Vanessa

I sighed and read it over before clicking send.  I put my phone down on the bed and looked around and frowned.  I'm really bored but I don't want to get out from under Nate's warm covers.  I rolled over so I was on my back and looked at the ceiling, finding fun little patterns in the design that's on it.  

As I lay there longer my mind drifted back to the proposal from earlier and I hated that it did that.  I didn't want to think about it too much because it would drive me crazy and I would end up giving in and going through with it.  

Nate's right, it was a stupid idea in the first place but I find myself wanting to try this.  But then my mind travels back to all my fears and then I don't want to do it anymore.  Maybe when Sam comes home, if he's not too smashed, I can talk to Nate and him about this.  You know, make sure it won't ruin our relationships, and all that stuff.  

I want to know why Sammy even brought this topic up in the first place.  Here I go again, like usual, I get an idea put into my head and I can't stop thinking about it.  I'm so paranoid about it and putting way too much thought into it.  I should just go for it, I mean when I was in high school, yeah that was a little less than a year ago, but anyways, in high school I would've been all over this.  But I'm not in high school anymore and I'm trying to make better decisions.  

But now I'm in college and nothing good comes from college.  Actually I take that back, a good education comes from college, so go to school kids and get a good education.  But a college party? Yeah nothing good comes from them, a bunch of drunk students who probably have really big exams the next day but they decided to party anyways, that's what college is about.  Well it might be what it's about to all the kids that like to party, the good students... Well that's not what college is all about. 

Maybe I could go into this, thinking I'm at a party and nothing good ever comes from those.  Maybe that will ease my nerves and then the fact that Nate will be there too eases my nerves.  The fact that he's okay with this and knows about it eases my nerves too because I mean it's not like I'm cheating right? He's one of the ones who suggested this crazy idea and he knows and he's going to watch which is a little weird but I don't know, some people find watching other people get it on to be hot so who knows maybe my boyfriend does too.  That's the one thing I don't know about Nate and I think I might be okay not knowing if he likes that or not.  

I groaned and sat up, running my hands through my hair and putting it up into a messy bun.  I stood up from the bed and went out to the couch to sit with Nate so I don't drive myself crazy over this.  Maybe if I'm out here with Nate I won't think too much about it.  I was surprised when I rounded the corner and Sammy was on the couch with Nate.

"Hey" Nate smiled at me opening up his arms.  I smiled and walked over to him and sat down on his lap facing Sammy.

"So I've been thinking" I sighed sitting up slightly, running my hands through Nate's hair.  "If I do this I want to make sure of a few things first" I said and both boys nodded.

"Make sure of what?" Sammy asked with furrowed eyebrows.  I took a deep breath and bit my lip before I started talking again.

"I don't want our relationships to be weird after this.  I want me and Nate to stay the way we are, I want Sammy and I to continue to be good friends and I don't it to be weird between any of us.  I'm afraid that if we do this, everything between all of us will just get really weird" I explained, slightly shrugging my shoulders.

"We're going to fine baby" Nate assured me kissing my temple "And Sammy and I will be cool.  I promise it's okay, if I didn't think it was I wouldn't have agreed to it" Nate said and I nodded as I bit my lip.

"Yeah, everything we'll be fine.  We'll be the way we are now, I wouldn't have brought it up and suggested it if I thought it would mess things up" Sammy said nodding his head slightly. 

"What even made you bring this up?" I laughed, linking my hands together behind Nate's neck as he rested his hand on my thigh.

"I don't know" Sammy chuckled "It just popped up into my head and I said it out loud" He chuckled and I nodded.

"Alright, I'll do it" I sighed.  Sammy and Nate looked at each other with smirks and I rolled my eyes.  

I just hope this all turns out okay.