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My Biggest Enemy

Lately it's really been Me vs Me.
Will I ever be free?
Will I ever reach the full potential I can be?
Why is it so hard for me to push through the struggle?
How come my life is so difficult to juggle?
Why do I allow myself to get so low and defeated?
Do I deserve this way life left me treated?
I'm my biggest enemy.
Depression, no faith and I have the greatest chemistry.
Free my mind lord, I know you hearing it.
Feel like you not accepting my prayers lord, not even a little bit.
I'm constantly feeling all screwed up.
My confidence and determination is all chewed up.
I keep mistaking myself for a damsel in distress.
Instead I'm a lost soul who needs to take a rest.
God said I'm a soldier being put to the test.
I'm starting to feel like we've got enough of seeing what's my "best".
I'm losing sleep and hallucinating.
I supposed to be fighting and rejuvenating.
Seeing figures been haunting my dreams.
Got me wondering what death wants with me.
Am I next to come with thee?
These thoughts been getting too strong for weed.
My body just been filled with smoke.
Living like a fool, taking my health as a joke.
Who said I was too young for a stroke?
Or worse, what if I choke?
Drugs definitely don't help the cause when you're broke.
That's when people don't give a damn if yall spoke.
Another reason to keep your self esteem low.
Do you seriously wanna live like that?
Let life push you to some stronger like crack?
How the hell my life get so off track?
I'm gonna crash the train if I keep looking back.
My biggest enemy is me.
What more in my past am I searching to see?
How every time life gave me a multiple choice question and my answer was D?
The focus was never on my own.
I'm realizing that now I'm grown.
I always cared what emotions others shown.
Sometimes I get the urge to run.
Or to blast myself leaving a smoking gun.
When I suppose to be getting pretty, going out, having fun.
Somewhere showing off my body in the sun.
Taking my daughter places that'll leave her stun.
But my biggest enemy is me.
I'm aware so one day I'll set myself free.
To this jail I've made for myself, I'll have the key.
It's Godly Me vs Me.