Strings (Ryan Gosling × Reader)

Chapter 20 - Call

The car ride to the place where I'm having the interview was empty without Y/N's mumbling beside me. Her hands always occupied and her phone ringing. My mind was filled with her, though. I couldn't stop thinking about her and the incident yesterday; she looked so exhausted. I wouldn't have let her work today even if she begged for it. And originally I would've given her a week, she really needs and deserves all the rest she can get, but that stubborn woman won't accept more than a day. 

She drives me crazy.

As I step out of the car, I tap my hands on my thighs looking around. Usually Y/N is beside me and I have her shoulder to lean on, her profile to look at, her voice to guide me. Not now, though, I feel so alone and exposed, like a kid lost at the mall. And this kid could really use a cigarette right now.

As I shift my weight from leg to leg on the sidewalk, light strikes in my mind. I reach for my back pocket and whip out my phone, looking for Y/N's name in my contacts, clicking on it as soon as I recognize it, and bringing the phone up to my face, resting the purring speaker on my ear. The way I kick my feet and scrape the sole on the concrete while I wait for her to pick up makes me feel a bit stupid, like some highschooler getting shy over a girl, but it doesn't really matter, because hopefully, I'll hear Y/N's voice soon.

"Hello? Ryan? Is everything okay?"

There she is...

I smile when I notice she assumed I needed her for something to do with her job.

"Hey... Everything's fine. I just wanted to check on you. How are you doing?" my feet kick lazily back and forth as I look at them.

"Oh... I'm doing alright. I slept in, just like you told me to." I heard the ruffling of sheets. 

Was she laying in bed? Her hair over the pillows, wearing her most casual clothes... it's been really hot these days, I mean, it's almost August... what is she wearing? is her shirt riding up her stomach?.. Did she roll up her shorts? Is she wearing shorts at all?...

Ryan, what the fuck. 

Get yourself together, Ryan. 

"Good... are you resting up well?"

"Mhm... It's pretty weird spending an entire day at home.. with nothing to do.. it's making me a bit anxious, to be honest.."

"Anxious? Why?" I furrow my brows "Your day off is specifically to de-anxious you."

"It feels like I'm.. being lazy and irresponsible.. ignoring everything I have to do..."

"No, Y/N, you will be perfectly fine if you rest for one day. Just take care of yourself for me, that's your job today."

"Just give me something to do. One little thing, please."

"No! You will rest."

"But my mind is doing so much overthinking that even resting is stressful! Working has become my peace."

"Y/N you-"

"Give me anything! Something light. Oh, I know! I can plan your outfits for the press tour."

"Y/N-"

"Please?" She insisted, and I know exactly the face she's doing right now. And I know I can never resist it.

"...Fine." I sigh and give in to her pleading "But only the outfits for the press tour and nothing else."

"Yesss" She celebrates to herself.

"And only if it's something you enjoy doing."

"I do enjoy it, Ryan, don't worry..."

"...Okay. I'm gonna trust you."

I can hear her giggle and more sheets ruffle before she speaks again.

"How are you doing? All alone in the big, bright, beautiful world?" 

"Oh, you know... same old same old." I tease.

She laughs at my reference through the phone and I smile at the sound of her laughter.

She even sounds beautiful.

"But you know.. being without you in these places is really strange to me."

"It is?"

"Yeah... I got used to having you with me, and now that I don't.. it makes me kind of anxious."

"You know, I can go and meet up with you..."

"NO!" I protest immediately, the thought of her working on her day off flipping a switch in me "It's your day off, you stay at home!"

"Okay! Okay..." I can hear the smile shaping her voice "You think you'll be okay in the interview?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be just fine." I start walking into the building.

"Alright then, if you say so. It's almost time for the interview, you better get inside and get ready to be all charming with your lame jokes and stuff."

"Yeah, okay." I nod, chuckling softly "I'll talk to you later, then."

"Okay, bye bye!" Her sweet voice speaks one last time.

"Bye bye." I reciprocate the farewell, smiling and I hang up.

Well. 

There goes my daily dose of Y/N.

I tuck my phone in my back pocket once more and I walk inside, preparing myself for the interview.

Ain't No Sunshine - Bill Withers

As I sit down on the chair, the crew sets up the mic on me, and I just sit there thinking about Y/N. Her face from yesterday is still so vivid in my mind, her red cheeks and watery eyes, tears streaming down and dragging down the concealer along with the salty water, the purple below her under eyelids then so obvious. I just had to hold her. Keep her close to me and soothe her until she was calm again.

 She still feels so guilty about the things she said.. but I only cared about her and how she was feeling. Her headaches, her nourishment, her sleep. And now, she isn't even here for me to keep an eye on her to see how she's doing all the time. Of course I'm relieved she's at home resting and focusing on herself for once. But she's far away, and the world isn't as exciting without her. She's not here to cheer me on, nor to reassure me that everything is okay like she always does, sometimes with words, sometimes with her mere presence. 

But thank God she's at home. She's resting like she so much deserves.

And tomorrow I'll see her again.