Traces Of The String (Red String Series #1)

Chapter 10

☀︎⋆.

“W-What? Loren... why would you even say that?” Napaatras ako, one shaky foot behind the other as my voice came out in a broken whisper.

I mean, sure, I joke about that stuff with my friends too. Sarcasm lang ‘yon, diba? I wanted to believe—no, I needed to believe—that she was joking. That this was another one of her dry little jabs I’d learned to laugh off. But the look in her eyes right now? She’s not joking. Not even close.

“Stop acting like you don’t know anything! Napaka-plastik mo, Clementine!” Sigaw niya, ang boses niya punong-puno ng poot. Parang naglalagablab.

“I’m not! Wala talaga akong alam sa sinasabi n’yo!” Tinangka kong ipagtanggol ang sarili ko kahit na ang dibdib ko ay parang sasabog na.

“Bullshit!” she spat, shaking her head, her fists clenched so tight that her knuckles turned crimson. “Nireject ako ni Kyllian dahil sayo! Alam mo ba kung ano sinabi niya sa'kin?”

“L-Loren…” Her name barely escaped my lips.

She stepped forward, like she was charging into a battlefield she already knew she was losing. “Sabi niya, ‘wag daw kitang idamay dito.’ Tapos... ayun, ni-reject niya ako. Akala ko ba wala kayong something? Akala ko ba parang magkapatid lang kayo?” Her voice cracked, pain surfacing like waves crashing onto stone. “Pero may kapatid bang tumingin ng ganyan?”

May kapatid bang nagiging center ng mundo mo kahit maraming tao sa paligid?

“Alam mo ba kung bakit niya tinatanggihan lahat ng nagkakagusto sa kanya?” she asked, the edge of her voice trembling. “Dahil sayo, Clementine. Kasi sayo lang siya nakatingin. Sa’yo lang.”

I blinked, slowly shaking my head, trying to process the venom, the heartbreak, the truth—or lie—behind every word.

“And you hate me… because of that? Because a boy rejected you? Ganon ka kababaw, Lorawenia?” I didn’t mean to say it, but it slipped. I couldn’t stop it. It’s like the words had been crawling in my throat, waiting for a moment to be screamed.

She scoffed—no, she broke. “Wag mo ‘kong tawaging mababaw, Clementine.” Her voice trembled but her eyes held rage. “Gusto ko siya bago ka pa dumating. Mula pa nung pinakilala kami ng mga magulang namin. Nung wala ka pa sa eksena. Pero ngayon? Ni hindi niya ako maalala. Dahil sayo. Laging ikaw.”

She sniffed, tears now falling freely from her glassy eyes. “Every time, it’s always you. Ikaw ang kinakampihan, ikaw ang tinitingnan, ikaw ang kasama. When he’s next to you, it’s like the world disappears for him. You’re always the center of his universe and you don’t even realize it.”

My heart thudded in my chest.

“Can you believe it?” she asked with a bitter laugh, brushing a tear from her cheek. “That day... the day I confessed to him, I barely even finished what I was saying. He cut me off. Shouted at me. Parang... parang pinamukha niya na I’ll never be you. Na wala akong kwenta compared to you.”

Bigla akong napaatras, hawak ang gilid ng lumang mesa sa tabi ko para lang hindi matumba. My knees felt like they were going to give up. No. I didn’t want to believe her. Ian said he doesn’t like me, and I held onto that—clung to it like a lifeline. But now?

Now I feel like a stone. A stone that can’t feel. A stone that refused to understand.

“That’s a lie,” I murmured.

She laughed. Loud and broken. And painful. God, it was painful. I felt the crack inside me deepen.

“You think I’m lying? Seriously? At this point?” She wiped her cheeks, her voice raw. . “Napaka-manhid mo talaga, Clementine! Tanungin mo siya. Go ahead. But if he says no, then he's lying. Pakiramdaman mo naman! Tingnan mo kung paano ka niya tingnan, Clementine!”