Anticipation.

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As Minho woke up, the first thing that he saw was Hyunjin, next to him. Sleeping peacefully, looking effortlessly too beautiful. He was 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 with him.

A pang of remorse washed over him, he felt like a fool reminiscing about the time when he ran away from Hyunjin, as his fingers traced the mole under his eye, he resisted the urge to lean in and place a light kiss on it. When his fingers travelled from his nose to his crimson, plump lips, he could feel him stir.

He retracted his hand back, with a final glance at Hyunjin's sleeping form, Minho rose from the bed, his footsteps silent as he made his way to the kitchen.

The sight that greeted him there was both comforting and disconcerting, everything was 𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘭𝘺 as he had left it, a frozen tableau of their life together before everything had fallen apart.

Soon Hyunjin woke up, a wave of panic washed over him at the absence of Minho in the bed.

With quick strides, he came out of the room, to be pleasantly surprised as he saw Minho in the kitchen, making breakfast. His heart pounding in his chest as he took in the sight of Minho, his Minho, standing there, bathed in the soft morning light.

Lost in his thoughts, Minho scarcely noticed Hyunjin's presence until he felt the warmth of his gaze upon him. Hyunjin leaned against the doorway, his expression a mixture of relief and curiosity as he watched Minho move with practiced grace around the kitchen.

"Good morning princess," Hyunjin's voice broke through the silence, soft yet tinged with a hint of vulnerability. Minho turned, a gentle smile playing at the corners of his lips as their eyes met.

"Good morning Hyunjin". Minho's voice, barely above a whisper, carried the weight of his emotions as he surrendered himself to Hyunjin's waiting arms, melting into him.

A shiver ran down his spine as Hyunjin's lips grazed against the back of his neck. He nevertheless continued what he was doing, ignoring the light kisses on his neck. Soon Hyunjin's slender hand was wrapping around Minho's neck. That's when Minho whispered, "What are you doing?"

A smirk made it's way to Hyunjin's lips, as he pressed himself further onto Minho, 𝘤𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 him between the counter and himself. "Nothing..." He whispered back.

"You just woke up, aren't you hungry?" Minho asked, his ears a burning shade of red.

"I am hungry... 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶".

Before Minho could respond, Hyunjin pulled back and sat down on a chair, leaving Minho flushed as he continued flipping the pancakes. Hyunjin chuckled, amused by the effect he had on Minho.

"Don't you miss your friends, Min?" Hyunjin asked, a mere 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺. He was already aware of what words were about to roll from Minho's mouth.

"No". A short, simple answer.

"Oh..." Hyunjin had to compose himself, biting back a smile that was threatening to make it's way to his lips. He felt 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘦, even in his eyes he seemed insane.

"Um I need to take this call, it will only be a minute". With that Hyunjin got up, walking away to find a quieter spot. His brain was fucking him up, telling him to do things that one should not do to someone they love, 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯.

He was gonna hold back, he had to. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. The last thing he wanted was for Minho to leave him again. Losing him once had been devastating, and he couldn't bear the thought of going through that pain again.







What Hyunjin did not know was that Minho yearned to 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵. He wanted to feel pain again, for Hyunjin to hurt him again. Minho was sick in the head, craving the twisted satisfaction of being 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘯.

Yet, he was too ashamed to ask Hyunjin for what he desired. How could he even put it into words? "I want you to absolutely break me and then put me back together," or, "Why are you not hurting me?"

The turmoil inside Minho’s mind was consuming him. He couldn't fathom what was going through Hyunjin's head, and the uncertainty was driving him crazy. His existing madness was only 𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 by the mystery of Hyunjin's restraint.

Before Minho could think further, Hyunjin was back. With a slight smile on his lips, he sat back down.

Minho did not know when or how, but the words let his mouth before he could even register. "I wish I knew what goes on inside your mind..."

Hyunjin looked at him, taken aback. For a moment, silence hung between them, heavy with unspoken feelings. Hyunjin's smile faltered as he considered how to respond, wondering if he should reveal the 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘰𝘴 in his mind or keep it 𝘩𝘪𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘯 to protect Minho.

"You really wanna know?" Hyunjin finally asked, his voice low. He was so close to losing it all over again. All those locked up feelings were now banging uncontrollably, with full force, pushing at the 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘴 he had set up around his heart. No. No. No. No. He cannot let it happen.

Minho's eyes searched Hyunjin's face, seeing the struggle there. He nodded slowly, feeling a mix of 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳 and 𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. "Yes, I do."

Hyunjin took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. He could not afford to break down, not now. But the intensity of Minho's gaze made it so hard to keep his defenses intact.

"No, you don't. Trust me, you don't wanna know what goes inside my mind. It is fucking 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬 there and it kills me that you have already seen the half of 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘢𝘮". Hyunjin's voice was stern and serious, like he was warning Minho. His lips thinned, eyes devoid of any emotions. 

But Minho did not back down, he could not back down now. It took him a lot of courage to ask Hyunjin this question, after keeping it inside him for months. He was frustrated.

"I don't care how dark it is," Minho said, his voice steady. "I want to know. I 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 to know."

Hyunjin's eyes flickered, a flash of something 𝘳𝘢𝘸 breaking through his cold facade. He looked away, clenching his fists as he fought to maintain control. "You think you can handle it, but you can't," he whispered. "I don't want to hurt you again, Minho. I can't lose you."

Minho leaned forward, his gaze intense. "What if..." He hesitated for a moment, "... 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵 𝘮𝘦? 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘵?" The words hung in the air, charged with desperation.






Author's note: Thank you for reading and I'm really sorry for being late. But my exams are finally over and now the updates will be more faster and consistent.



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