Kismet

11 | Pleasure And Disappointment

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Alicia

Alicia's forehead shimmered with sweat as she finished tidying up her apartment. She hoped Raven would not be as surprised as she had been the last time she visited and saw the mess. The small collection of white daisies she brought home brightened up her living space, despite its small size.

Raven did not judge her last time. Alicia cherished that aspect of the woman. She always maintained a non-judgmental attitude towards others. Raven just smiled, seemingly unaffected by Alicia's rudeness. The comfort she offered was almost terrifying. It scared Alicia to think about how much she appreciated how her co-star made her feel. No matter what time of day it was, she wanted Raven's touch more than anything else. She knew that at some point they would have to talk about where they stood with each other.

Picking up Gone With the Wind off the shelf, she remembered the time she and Raven talked about how much they loved books. While Raven reflected on a dark period in her life, Alicia wondered what she was talking about. Her heart ached, thinking that Raven had experienced heartache. A breakup might have hurt her, just like it did for Alicia.

While waiting for Raven to knock, Alicia attempted to read, but she was too nervous and excited to focus for long. Despite her worries, she gave their relationship everything she had. All of the seduction during rehearsal was enjoyable. Alicia enjoyed spending time with Raven, and it just so happened that their idea of fun included kissing and fooling around in a wardrobe.

After paying close attention to every aspect of the small space, Alicia made certain that everything was in its proper place. She arranged the flowers in a straight line, meticulously cleaned the table, and carefully examined the wine glasses to ensure they were clean. She suddenly realized that she should have food to offer Raven. Horror overcame her when she found only a box of Mac & Cheese and two cans of vegetables. Could Raven eat food that was easy for her to make herself?

With a shake of her head, Alicia checked her bank account on her phone, thinking she would have enough cash for a pizza or something. That was the moment she spotted Raven's message.

Raven: Ali, I apologize, but something came up. A business emergency. I will book us a table at the fancy Italian restaurant for next Friday. Please don't be mad.

All of a sudden, the flowers that were making her dark apartment brighter stopped. Alicia tried not to show her disappointment as she responded.

Alicia: It's okay. Things happen. I look forward to seeing you again. Wishing you the best.

She beamed when Raven finally replied after a delay. What did she do to make Alicia smile so much?

She sighed, wishing Raven was with her at this moment. Something had likely occurred with the rabbit. Raven would put her pet ahead of everything else. Alicia thought about what it would be like to be Raven's go-to person. Raven seemed to do anything for a friend.

Alicia prepared a serving of Mac & Cheese and a small portion of mixed vegetables before sitting in front of the television to look through the cable menu. Alicia surprised herself when she clicked on the movie that Raven had starred in.

Love Without Bars.

Contrary to the negative reviews, it was not nearly as bad. Raven's performance overshadowed the cheesy dialogue and poor plot. After watching the entire film, Alicia felt more connected to it. She formed a bond with the lead actress, and the thought of it excited her.

Alicia then moved on to the next Raven movie, Heartstrings and High Jinks. She could not believe how stupid the lead star, Avery Blue, was for breaking up with her after filming was finished. Did he know what he was giving up?

Maybe he had a sensitivity to rabbits as well?

She felt a combination of longing and an unanticipated pang of envy as the film moved into the more special scenes. That is what she and Raven should be doing at this moment. There was one scene in which the characters made love in the rain. Raven and Avery's passionate kisses and hugs captivated her. The way Raven held him, with her hands entangled in his dark hair, completely captured Alicia's attention.

Her breathing quickened as she resisted the temptation to touch herself. It dawned on her then: why was she fighting it at all?

She told herself, "Loosen up and enjoy pleasing yourself while thinking of Raven. Be free."

Sliding her hands under her skirt, her thoughts went blank. While Raven and Avery were in bed together, she paused the scene. Raven was the only one in the frame, and she looked down as if Alicia were below her. Raven's eyes shone with kindness as her cheeks formed gentle dimples.

Alicia reached for the vibrator in the drawer, gently stimulating herself as she imagined the intimate moments she and Raven could have if they were together now. Raven had her hands in Alicia's hair, and their lips stayed locked with labored breaths punctuated by soft cries. Bodies pressed tightly together.

At her peak, her muscles trembled with tension and desire. Oh, Alicia wanted Raven.

After her climax, Alicia saw Raven's smile. She couldn't help but bury her face in her pillow, a wide grin spreading across her face. When has anyone ever made her feel like this?

She stood up to take a shower as her sweat began to thicken. The hot stream of water made her mind wander. It felt good to relax and pleasure herself even more.

Once Alicia had finished drying off, she collapsed onto her bed. She often stayed awake at this time, thinking about her past mistakes and current problems. She did not expect to feel calm, though.

She took out her phone and read Raven's latest message.

Raven: I'm missing you. ;)

How could just a few words make her smile? Beyond that, could she relax after reading the text? The anxiety that plagued Alicia was silent. Was this truly happiness? She understood the reasons for people's happiness.

She typed Raven's name into the mobile browser tab. Pictures of her smile dominated the screen. Alicia followed a couple links that led her to Raven's Instagram account. A photograph captured Xavier Hartley and Raven at a restaurant, where she wore a form-fitting dress and smiled charmingly. The actress has never looked bad in photos. Then Alicia glanced twice at the picture's time stamp. Her body froze. The couple took this picture less than an hour ago.

The caption read, "Right now, this man is the stuff of dreams."

Alicia's happiness and excitement diminished as she observed his arm around Raven. Because of that, she had canceled their date. Raven's date with Xavier seemed less important than getting the rabbit to the vet. She hoped this was the true reason for the cancellation.

Alicia turned off her phone and the lamp next to her bed, seeking solace in the embrace of darkness and silence. She nestled beneath the covers.

Did she do something wrong? Does Raven genuinely like her as much as she claims to? Her mind raced with questions, but finding the answers tonight was not an option.

Alicia could only relax for the night and wait until the next day to ask Raven about her date with a former co-star, letting disappointment wash over her. It was not new; a lot of people kept letting her down.

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