Shadows (BuckyxOC)

No Room for Us

"So she's actually afraid of water?" Bucky chuckled, taking a sip of his wine.

"Yup, swears she'll never go into the ocean again." Pepper said.

Bucky and I are currently at the lake house having dinner with Pepper and Morgan. Pepper just finished telling Bucky about the time I went to the beach when we lived in Malibu. I fell off a rocky shore into the water and came face to face with a giant ugly fish. I was about nine years old and it was the scariest thing at that age. Since then, I've had a fear of fish... live ones, anyway.

"Laugh all you want, but fish should not be that ugly and not be that large and not be that slimy." I scowled, leaning back in my chair and crossing my arms.

"I didn't know you were afraid of fish, Ne-Ne." Morgan said. It was a nickname she's dubbed for me over the years. It was cute, and I liked that she had a special name for me.

"We all have our fears, Morgan. Even silly ones." I said softly.

"Not me! I'm not afraid of anything!" She exclaimed.

"Alright Little Miss Bravery. Bring your plate to the sink and go and play." Pepper said.

"Okay, mommy!"

Morgan did as told and then ran outside to play. That left just the adults at the table to have a conversation. That was okay. There was something I wanted to tell them without Morgan overhearing.

"I made an appointment with Dr. Raynor. It's on Thursday." I said quietly after the short lull.

Pepper leaned forward, her wine glass held between both hands as she smiled softly at me. "That's great Nell. What made you change your mind?"

Making eye contact with her briefly, I then flicked my eyes to Bucky's, who was looking curiously at me as well. I then looked at my own glass of wine, running my finger over the edge of it. "It's when I was in Louisiana. Something happened, and I realized I may not have as much control over my neurosis as I originally thought."

It was unsaid by both, but I could tell by the silence that followed, they were both thinking it... 'I told you so.'

"What happened?" Bucky finally asked.

"It was the last morning we were there. Sarah left to go find you and Sam and I told her I would tidy up the kitchen like a normal person, not an obsessive compulsive person and... and it was hard. So hard to the point I felt like I was physically hurting myself."

"Oh honey." Pepper said quietly, not knowing what else to say.

I shook my head. "As a doctor, I know that's not normal. As a person, I still want to tell myself I can handle it. But after that moment, I do think I need a little help."

"We'll be with you every step of the way." Pepper said and then nodded at Bucky. "And I think you have some pretty solid support with you in the city."

"Yeah, that's true." I said, smiling at Bucky.

"Ne-ne!" Morgan bounded into the kitchen. "Can you come outside to play with me?"

"Well..."

"Go on. Bucky and I will be more than enough hands to clean up." Pepper said, standing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky and Pepper were left alone in the kitchen as the girls went outside to play. They could be seen from the kitchen window as they tidied up. Buky rinsed the plates before passing them off to Pepper, who put them in the dishwasher. Pepper watched him watching Nellie for a moment before finally speaking.