chapter fifteen

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RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME
ANGELA GIARRATANA

CHAPTER FIFTEEN
"IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT"

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KENNEDY smiled into the camera as shayne began to speak. "hello everybody, welcome back to smosh mouth, i'm shayne."

"and i'm amanda." she continued. "today, we have a very special guest, making her smosh mouth debut, it's kennedy!"

"hey!" kennedy grinned.

"so, kennedy, how's it feel to be on the pod for the first time?" amanda asked.

"i'm super excited, i love listening to the episodes every monday night before i fall asleep." kennedy said. "and i've been loving getting to experience all these videos for the first time."

"i will say, it's been really awesome to watch you try every show we do for the first time." shayne added. "your first video was a try not to laugh and you absolutely killed it."

"aw, thank you." kennedy smiled.

"and then you were on challenge pit super last minute." amanda said.

"right, yeah, arasha was supposed to be in that video but she got sick so i stepped in." kennedy explained. "then i was in sniper chess which was freaking awesome, by the way."

"yeah, that was something i have wanted to do for a while and i think it was totally worth it." shayne said.

"the energy you all brought to that video was insane." amanda laughed. "like, angela was so into it and she couldn't even play chess."

kennedy laughed. "i just- i love that about angela." she hesitated for a moment, not sure if what she wanted to say would fuel the reddit fire. "she always brings one-hundred-and-ten percent."

"i feel like we all have so much to learn from angela." shayne said.

amanda nodded. "exactly."

"speaking of angela, ken, you have been a highly anticipated guest due to recent events." shayne said.

"i have no idea what you're talking about." kennedy joked. amanda and shayne gave her a look and she pretended to remember.

"oh, yes, right, i believe you're referring to my instagram post." kennedy said.

amanda pretended to get stern. "so, you and angela, huh?" she began speaking in a deeper voice.

kennedy laughed. "college was fun, what can i say?"

"fans seem to think that you two dislike each other now." shayne said.

kennedy shook her head. "we dated like ten years ago, we were like twenty. we've both grown so much since then and i absolutely adore angela."

kennedy would admit, this was a little bit of damage control. was everything absolutely peachy when she joined? no. but, now things were different, however, still just as confusing.

it wasn't a lie, adoring angela. but, she certainly wouldn't have used that word back in september. kennedy was just confused. two weeks prior when angela broke her wrist, she made sure kennedy knew she didn't hate her. then said something about feeling the opposite.

but, like she predicted, angela remembered nothing of what she said, just thanking her the next day for making her food and going back to awkwardly avoiding-not-avoiding kennedy.

"... going back to the videos, what's one that you really want to do?" amanda's voice brought kennedy out of her thoughts.

"ooh, um, i'd love to do who memed it." kennedy said.

"are you a big meme person?" shayne asked.

"in my head, yeah, but i feel like in reality i'm actually lame." kennedy joked.

shayne laughed. "well, we'll see what happens if you're on who memed it."

"also, one of my ultimate smosh goals is to create a character that sticks." kennedy added. "like the chosen, or sarah christ."

"my advice for that is to try some character stuff out on try not to laugh." amanda suggested. "see what sticks."

"it's gonna be hard though, because i'm not great at creating characters." kennedy said. "give me a script or a character, i can do that, but i've always struggled with improv and stuff like that."

"yeah, so, i was hoping we could bring this up." shayne lit up at the mention of characters. "but you've done so much acting, and you were in the live action one piece, which is super cool."

kennedy smiled. "yeah, i was nami in one piece, i was in the fear street movies, i've been doing some dubbing, which is how i met damien."

"how did it feel transitioning from tv and movie acting to youtube content?" shayne asked. "because for me, it was a strange feeling at first."

"it was strange, for sure." kennedy nodded. "i felt a weird bit of guilt and doubt at first because it was so different, and it really didn't help that people online were making it feel like a step down."

"but, with the support of everyone here and all the fans, i felt so welcome and everything was going great." she continued. "until the little hiccup we had. i don't really want to talk about it too much but, don't out people. it's their business and their right to do so and it makes you a shitty person if you don't respect that."

shayne nodded as amanda snapped her fingers in agreement. "and just because i've been out as a lesbian for years publically, doesn't mean my past relationships are meant to be picked apart."

kennedy felt tears well up in her eyes. "sorry, i didn't expect to get this emotional." amanda rubbed her arm as kennedy chuckled lightly, wiping her eyes.

"it's a hundred percent valid to be emotional right now." amanda softly smiled.

"it just sucks because, not to speak for angela, but she was so upset during that time." kennedy frowned. "and i feel so bad about it because it was my old account that got leaked."

"it's not your fault, kennedy." shayne said.

"i know, i'm just- i screwed things up for angela and i-" she stammered.

shayne looked into kennedy's watery eyes. "it's not your fault."




















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