Tiger's Circus

Chapter 24: Echoes

My legs kept moving me forward, but my mind was still in Mr. Maurizio's office.

If you won't join them then you can't...you can't stay here.

I shook my head, trying to shake the echo out of my mind. But it was stuck in there, jumbled up with everything else that I didn't want to remember.

I know... if you take the time to think about it.

...you can make the right

Choice?

A tear leaked out of my eye.

This wasn't a choice. I was never supposed to choose between Lisa and the circus. I had trained Lisa for the circus. So why?

You can't barge in here with a showy cat and a pedigree and expect admission.

Why was this happening?

After I left, I had been positive that training Lisa and improving my skills would help me get back to my circus, back to my home. So, I had trained hard every day. I kept adding new tricks to Lisa's repertoire and kept performing at talent shows, birthday parties and anywhere else I could get exposure. I had thrown my heart and soul into training, but it wasn't enough.

The circus needs you...

...not...your act

I shook my head so hard that my tears went flying. It didn't make any sense. Why would they want me without my act?

I was my act. That's what I had to offer. That's what Lisa and I trained for. That's why we were here. Yet they asked me to risk everything, all my hard work, my act, my bobcat, why? Why didn't they care?

Thought your cat was perfectly fine

Do your chores

But she wasn't fine. She needed me.

Trust me

Trust your mentors

Trust the circus

I did trust the circus. When Sarah had poured all of her doubts onto me with her lectures about the circus being dangerous, about me being obsessive, and about me dying like my parents did, I had stayed firm. And every time she argued, ranted, or begged me to trust her. I hadn't. Because I had the circus.

Mr. Maurizio had promised me that I could always return. I had trusted him. But...

Mi patatina...I don't trust you.

I...trust...everyone but, you.

I wiped at my tears and sped up. But that didn't stop their voices from echoing in my head.

Blinded you to the truth

Making petty excuses

Overreacting

Evolve into Madi

Trust the circus

It was too much. I started to run. The tears got worse. They filled my mouth until it felt like I was drowning in them, but I didn't care. I just had to get away.

I kept running until I was in Lisa's enclosure, flinging the door aside as I rushed to my bobcat. Lisa let out a yowl of surprise when I sank down to the ground and embraced her.

Lisa tried to wiggle free, but I clung to her tightly. I knew she was confused, but I couldn't begin to explain how horribly wrong tonight had gone. I couldn't even speak. All my words were covered in tears as my mind raced.

Not even Lisa could dull my pain because she was part of the problem. I loved her so much. I loved her too much. Lisa, my Lisa, my hope, my pride, my oldest friend, my best friend...

...the circus's responsibility.

No. They didn't understand. Lisa was mine. They couldn't have her.

Just think it over

I wept into Lisa's fur and shook. Think over what?

No.

I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't choose. So, why couldn't I stop torturing myself?

My past or my present, my home or my best friend, my circus or my bobcat

That was the compromise

Mi patatina...

Tell me your decision

Make the right one

On and on it went until every word of that meeting was rebranded onto my soul until my head was too numb to think and my eyes were too spent to cry. I held my bobcat until I couldn't feel anymore and the world went black.