Tiger's Circus

Chapter 20: Forgiveness

I sat down next to Mrs. Gailon in the passenger seat after Cathleen had politely offered me the spot. Somehow, even with Cathleen innocently tapping on her phone and Mrs. Gailon saying she was happy to have me as her navigator, I could tell there was a tension between the mother and daughter that I've never felt before. I couldn't begin to understand why. But then, I hadn't seen either of them all day.

*****

I had awoken in the middle of the night on that table bench in the picnic area with a few texts from Mrs. Gailon, a hazy memory of a dream, and a whole lot of sore muscles. Even after taking a nap in the RV, I'd still been up and out before either mother or daughter stirred. The kitchen had been truly closed today, so I had to go out to eat.

After eating too many pancakes at IHOP, I went to do training with Lisa. Even though it was fairly late in the morning, Lisa had been asleep. 

I was staring at my bobcat with worry and frustration when Dhiren had gotten my attention from the other enclosure. Someone must have moved him back into the enclosure during the night because the tiger was there and thoroughly awake as he batted on the enclosure wall.

I smiled at the gesture. It was just like old times. "Hey, Dhiren."

He chuffed happily.

I went toward him until only a few feet and some fence separated us. Dhiren raised his paw to the fence and chuffed again.

"I'm happy to see you too," I had said with perfect honesty and then I launched into a less teary version of the apology I had attempted to give last night. I told him how much I'd missed talking to him over the last few weeks. I promised that I'd talk to him more often and that we'd become closer.

Dhiren heard me but gave no sign the speech meant anything to him which, of course, it didn't. He was a tiger. I should have known. With him calling me over, it was obvious that he was back to his old self. I didn't need another pat on the hand. And yet a part of me had expected it.

Instead, we stared at each other in silence.

Dhiren had cocked his head. I could tell that he expected me to start a new topic.

"I don't really know where to begin," I admitted.

Dhiren had laid down and looked up at me as if to say: I got time.

I glanced over at Lisa who was still asleep and said, "I got time too, I guess. Um... how are you?"

Dhiren blinked. Obviously, he wasn't going to answer.

"Right. Well... Um," For some reason, under his critical gaze, I was feeling nervous. Maybe it was because it had been so long since I talked to the tiger, but it was like my first day with him all over again. I just blurted out the first thing that came into my mind, "I dreamt about you last night."

As soon as the words fell out of my mouth, I blushed. I had never mentioned the dreams to anyone before because it might mean talking about that fainting spell during my first night and I didn't like to think about that if I could help it. It was too weird.

I considered changing the subject, but Dhiren was watching me so intently and it couldn't hurt to tell the tiger about it. So, I pressed on, "Well, it'd be more accurate to say that I dream of you pretty often, but last night was different. Usually, you're in a jungle. Last night, it had been raining in the dream and I was waiting for you in... I think it was a palace. I thought you were in the jungle, but somehow you snuck in. I felt someone tap me on the shoulder and I turned around and saw..."

I paused and realized I couldn't remember what exactly I saw. Something told me that I had seen Dhiren. Maybe I had seen his blue eyes? Whatever I had seen, it had woken me up immediately and prompted me to go back to the RV area.