The Six Types of Love

SILAS

"But overall, things have been ok. I am thankful for where I am," I explain to Mrs. Hadley when I see Ayush come over. She had been one of my favorite teachers during my time here. From what I recall, she was one of Ayush's as well. We talk about how her daughter is in high school and is considering Tulane or Emory for college. Joel went to Tulane, so I recommend Emory. Also, their physics program is better.

"Hello," Ayush joins our duo and makes it a quad with Everett. Mrs. Hadley sets her jaw to keep it from dropping at this interaction.

"Ayush!" Mrs. Hadley effuses, leaning in for a hug, trying to figure out the situation, "How has everything been? I heard the movie has been doing amazing."

"That it has. I couldn't have done it without your help."

"Don't even mention it. I see you two have finally met again," Ayush smiles at both of us, "Also, look who I brought."

"Hey Si," Everett greets casually.

"How are you?" I ask shaking his hand.

"Good. How are you?"

"Good" I answer, not sure where to take the conversation to next.

"Hi Everett," Mrs. Hadley joins in, "How has the project been going?"

"Amazing actually. The students aren't struggling at all," Everett turns back to me explaining, "Last year the three of us decided that St. Edmund needed more ways to challenge students that over perform in English. We thought that the best way to move forward was to offer them weekend college classes that will count toward their senior-year English class. The first batch was this year, and they are blowing it out of the water."

I take a second to process. It shocks me how involved Ayush is at St. Edmund. He was so excited to graduate and never come back but now it seems like he's here every day. I compliment him, Everett, and Mrs. Hadley on how brilliant their idea is. Then Ayush catches them up on how Italy and New York were. He asks me to fill in whatever he forgets and that's when Mrs. Hadley realizes we are on good terms once more.

Ayush is so happy the moment Everett is next to him. They seem synchronized. When one speaks, the other already knows what he is going to say but is dying to hear it anyway. Their eyes light up when they see each other in only the way that high school best friends can, in only the way that two people who have stood by each other through times blacker than the deepest night in the middle of the sea and times brighter than the sun on a summer's day in the smoky mountains can.

Ayush lets down his guard around Everett in a way that he still hasn't done with me. His entire vibe shifts. Their conversations have the rhythm and crescendos of two musicians who have been playing together for a lifetime. They greet people together and their closeness is envy-inducing. I could have been in Everett's place; I could have been the one standing at Ayush's side right now, showing him off to the world. Shaking my head, I push the thought aside. I tell the duo I'll be right back. They barely acknowledge me.

I walk out of the reunion smiling and waving to people, trying to embrace the muscle memory of where I am in the building. After only one wrong turn, I find the exit I'm looking for and step out into the cold night, savoring the silence that comes with it. I follow the path I walked on a million times, down the same wooded hill, and across the bridge over the small stream, seeing bits and pieces of what I am looking for, hearing the hum of plants and animals around me. Before I'm ready, I'm here.

During my junior year of high school, for my Eagle Scout project, I built an outdoor classroom for St. E. It is comprised of two adjacent rows of four benches that have cement foundations and wooden seats. I chose such an arduous task because I wanted to leave a concrete mark of my presence on this institution, something that would inspire people to believe anything is possible. Of course, I had help, but this accomplishment is still one I am most proud of.

As I sit on the back right bench, staring into the dark woods, I lose myself in my thoughts. I remember how much I used to love doing homework here, and how many memories were made in this place. Ayush and I had even solved one of our arguments exactly where I am sitting.

I let all the memories and feelings from tonight wash over me. My mind is whisked away to the last fight I had with Ayush. I think about how different everything would have been if I hadn't driven away that night if I had just told him how I really felt.

"Why did I know that I would find you here?" I hear Ayush's voice behind me and turn around. He walks over and sits down next to me, knocking my knee with his. He's alone.

"I'm sorry if that was a lot," He apologizes as he puts his head on my shoulder, "I should have prepared you." We sit like that for a second, letting the world move around us, reveling in the stillness. There is something so romantic about sitting in nature together, appreciating all the noises of the Earth that we are created from and will eventually go back to together.

While we listen, I use my index finger to draw circles up and down Ayush's spine. He takes his head off my shoulder and starts to kiss me. I grab the back of his neck, pushing his face closer to mine. It's a hungry, raw kiss, the type that can only happen between two men who have denied their need for each other for far too long. Ayush brings his hands to my face and holds them there. I moan into his mouth before he pulls back and takes a deep breath.

"Sorry," He breathes out heavily while getting up from the bench, "I came to tell you that Everett, Sahil, and I want to go to Theodore Tower. We're getting late. Chalo."

I take a second to collect myself then follow Ayush. We walk up the hill to see Lex at the edge of the parking lot. Everett and Sahil are already inside having an intense conversation about the state of higher education in this country.

"What took you so long?" Sahil asks as Ayush opens the door to the driver's seat.

"I couldn't find him. Mr. Wright decided to go for a little trek," Ayush smirks at me.

"Sorry guys," I apologize, getting into the back seat of the car next to Sahil.

"Music," Ayush hands Everett his phone as he pulls out of the parking lot. Just before St. Edmund falls out of sight, I turn around to take one last look at the Edmund statue at the main entrance. It's the only thing about this school that has stayed the same.

During the drive to Phoenix Mall, Ayush and Everett gossip about someone or the other in the front, while Sahil and I catch up in the back. Sahil tells me about how it's strange to be a dad when he still feels like a kid himself. I try to formulate a response, but I'm too late. Before I can say anything, Ayush pulls onto the highway, lowers the windows, and starts blaring the music.

Looking at Ayush is like seeing this spark that unites everyone around it. He more than just lights up a room; he holds it together. His smile is half mischievousness, half innocence, and all joy. He pulled me out of my internal world once and I can feel him doing it again. Ayush has always been the center of my universe and my entire universe at the same time. He is all I can think about and everything else I think about always brings me back to him. Ayush is the alpha and omega of my life and I just hope that I can be his.

After a half an hour drive of wind whipping through our hair and screaming along to music, Lex pulls into the parking lot of Phoenix Mall and the four of us get out. Ayush falls in line with me and puts his arm over my shoulders. As we enter the Theodore Tower, it takes a minute for my eyes to adjust to the moody, dark red lighting of the establishment. Ayush guides us to the dark brown bar through the drunken mass and loud jazz music. I end up sitting next to him, with Everett and Sahil on either side of us.