The Six Types of Love

SILAS

We reach the little park and sit on one of the benches that borders the little play area where children are playing on the swings and rushing down the slides. Everyone here seems to know one other which makes one of the oldest cities in the world feel like a small town.

I pause for a second, looking at the sun beginning its descent in the sky; the book comes to my mind.

"I was surprised by how much you exposed yourself in the book. I thought it would just be about the bad things I had done," I tell Ayush, "When I read it, I found out things about you and Jack that shocked me at first, but then I felt like I should have already known."

"Like what?"

"That your relationship with your parents actually did get a lot better throughout high school. I kind of just assumed it stayed stagnant."

"That was just the beginning," Ayush bursts, smiling from ear to ear at their mention, "After going to college, everything got a lot better. I think I just grew up and they did too. Space did a lot of good for me and my parents. Armaan and I also got so much closer. Like back home we will fully spend almost every weekend together. We also have a lot of the same friends now. Everett, Thalia, and Shreya are like his older siblings too."

"I'm happy for you Ayush. You just seem so much more you now. I don't know how to explain it. You were always you, but now you've just grown into yourself more," I try to elaborate unsuccessfully.

"It's like I took the best parts of myself and amplified them," He responds without missing a beat. He's so good with his words, which is to be expected.

"Yes."

We sit there in silence. Both of us processing the beginning of a conversation that we should have had in high school but just weren't mature enough for. Ayush has changed so much. He became the version of himself that I can finally be with. I loved him, always did, even the version of him that wasn't mature, wouldn't leave me alone, annoyed me till I responded to his messages, and always pestered me to hang out. I just couldn't date that person.

Ayush and I have been holding hands since we left the restaurant, neither of us letting go even as we sit on the bench. He puts his head on my shoulder then I put my head on his. It feels so normal, like we're made for this. I missed him all these years and just this one moment makes it all worth it. I imagine our kids on this playground a few years from now. Ayush can move to California, and we can live together. We can meet all his friends and it can be just like it used to be. I have to tell him though. This time I won't leave.

"I meant what I said in front of Izzie and Minh. The book was very accurate. It was scary. You read my mind," I tell him, still looking at the kids imagining the future we could have, "I loved you. Love you. I just didn't know how to say it."

"I know," Ayush says, but doesn't reciprocate.