The Six Types of Love

AYUSH

Joel sounded exactly how I did the night I told Si to keep his negative energy away from everyone I loved. The difference is that the next morning I managed to beg Si to get coffee with me. We solved our problems, temporarily at least. Joel and Si never would.

Even so, it feels good to finally fix the effects my book had. A part of me always wondered when it would get out that The Six Types of Love is true. This is a relief, and honestly, not that bad, aside from talking to Grace and Mr. and Mrs. Wright.

Speaking to Si's family had been interesting. I had been jealous of how close they had been in high school and assumed their relationship stayed the same. However, Si hadn't been close to them in years. It feels like we swapped places. My family is the inseparable one now. The Khanna family wouldn't let me lose touch with them like Si's had. Don't get me wrong. I understand that Si not going back to Cincinnati is partially my fault, but it's not like his parents were mad at him about the book. He could have gone and at least seen them.

I ask myself if I can really be with someone who isn't as close to their family as I am and immediately hate myself for it because I know the answer is no and that I shouldn't let myself even consider a future with Si since I still haven't decided if I want this fling to last.

Trying to distract myself, I look up at Si and see my exhaustion reflected in him as well. We already have the crisp white duvet over us, so I use my voice to turn off the lights. Si then takes my phone from me and puts it on charging next to his. I change my position, so my right ear is to his chest, and I can hear his breaths and his heartbeat. This is exactly how it was the first time we hung out and watched Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani together after he told me he was gay during our junior year of high school. Back then I still thought there was a chance we would get our happy ending. Si and I were sitting on the couches in my basement in much the same position as we are now, my head on his body listening to the very organs that kept him alive right before I told him I liked him and he broke my heart for the first time.

However, back then and even today there is nothing more intimate than hearing Si's heart, feeling his lungs, and smelling his scent. It's like coming home. This is the heart that ached when it couldn't see me. These are the lungs that swelled to tell me they loved me. This is the scent I yearned for at the end of every night together. This is Si's body, and he is giving it to me on an altar just as I have given mine to him. We stay like that for a while, Si playing with my hair, his body irrevocably tangled with mine, his arms over me, me feeling his entire body for the first time since that fateful night, and both of us falling asleep in a lover's embrace that is bound to end.

...

Si and I are standing in the Cincinnati airport. It's gotten a lot bigger than it was just a decade ago. The city has grown a lot. We are waiting for the shuttle in the dull greys, blues, and whites of the terminal. If it's possible, looking at all the white only makes me colder. I'm wearing an all-black outfit with a windbreaker, jeans, and a graphic t-shirt, yet I'm still shivering.

"Can I kiss you?" Si asks me expectantly out of nowhere, his messy brown hair somehow not falling on his forehead.

"What?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," He looks away embarrassedly.

"I'm not uncomfortable. Just surprised, but yes," I reply.

Si turns back to me, and I mean to give him a peck, but it turns into something more, something I didn't know I needed. Being physical with him is new. The most we did during high school was cuddle, and even that happened only happened the night we watched Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani. The most physical we got after that was hugging. It had been two years of pure emotions; friends with benefits minus the benefits. Even last night all we did was cuddle. Si leans into the kiss, but I pull away because I notice people are beginning to stare.

"The train is here," I mutter, looking away, trying to give a lame excuse. We both get on, the kiss lingering in the air between us. I check my phone to make sure that Armaan is almost here. As the shuttle moves past terminal after terminal, I think about how blissfully uneventful today has been. We woke up, Si booked his flight, we got breakfast with Isabella and Gauri, went to the airport, and then got on our plane. Si had majorly hit it off with both of my friends and asked for the social media handles. However, I texted them not to accept his request. Who knows how long this is going to last?

The shuttle nears our stop when I realize that Armaan is probably waiting in Lex in the departure line. I turn to Si so I can give him directions on how to save my life, "Ok. So I still haven't told anyone in my family what's going on and Armaan is waiting at the pickup area. Please come up ten minutes after I leave because he already thinks something is wrong, and if he sees you, I will actually be murdered."

"Sounds good," Si laughs as the train comes to a stop. I debate hugging him goodbye, but I don't want there to be even a remote chance of my brother seeing us. I poke my head out the door of the shuttle to check if Armaan is standing at the exit. He isn't. I know his location says he is outside, but my nerves are getting the best of me.

Si and I get out of the shuttle and right before I walk away, he asks me something from behind, "When will I see you again?"

I think for a second. Deep down I hoped this could be a clean cut. I'm not quite sure when we will cross paths again and I don't want him to think this is something it's not. I think for a second, then longer.

"Come to the ten-year reunion on Friday. I'm speaking," I tell him then turn around not waiting for a response. I promise myself that I won't text him to ask if he's coming. If he wants to end this, he should be able to. As I step onto the escalator, I think about how jaws are going to drop less than 48 hours from now.

A couple of moments later, I walk out into the cool air; I love Cincinnati in the fall. It's my favorite time of year. There is something so comforting about the trees deciding to take a break by shedding their leaves, getting coffee and writing with Everett while he's grading papers, going to pumpkin patches to do the corn mazes, celebrating Diwali with all our family friends, and of course, my brother and my birthdays. Armaan and I are having a joint party again this year; it's been a tradition since both of us moved back in to help with the business because our birthdays are only three days apart.

I see Lex as soon as I step outside and already feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins. I haven't driven him in too long.

"Hello," I say, smiling as I open the trunk, trying to see Armaan in the rear-view mirror. He gets out of the car and walks past me in his bright red quarter zip without saying a word.

"Ok then," I respond, getting a pit in my stomach. I close the trunk and get into the car.

"How are you?" I ask one more time, confused because Armaan never acts like this. I start to drive when he finally says something that makes my heart drop.

"Silas Remus Wright."