In my head | Bangchan

11

I was just lying on the sofa, my head on Felix's lap, watching TikToks on my phone. Felix was watching it with me over my shoulder. That was when a Chan Edit came on to my For You page, with Chan full-on sexy dancing. I wanted to just swipe it away, but I couldn't get myself to do it. That was my boyfriend! Well, he was my boyfriend for just 2 days now, but he was. "Are we seriously watching a thirst trap of Channie?" Felix asked skeptically.

I nodded and watched it a second time. "Lil?" Felix asked suddenly. I turned my head a bit more up, so I could look at him. "Yes?" I answered. "Did you ever have a crush on one of the other members?" he asked, curiosity on his face. I looked away quickly. "Why would you ask something like that?" I answered. "I'm just curious. I won't be mad, I promise," he said.

I pressed my lips together. I couldn't lie. I couldn't tell him no and then hit him with the news about Chan and me dating a few days later. "Yes," I finally mumbled. "Was it Chan?" he asked. I gulped. How did he know? "Yes," I just said, sitting up slowly. I couldn't tell him now, not without Chan being with me. "Do you maybe... still have a crush on him?" he asked. I looked at him shocked.

"What? Why?" I asked confused. How could he know. "Oh... Minho just said something the other day about how much time you two spent together and all..." Felix mumbled. He looked kinda sad. I will officially kill Lee Know. "Maybe I do have a crush on him," I admitted, "but please don't be mad!" "I'm not mad. If I were a girl I probably would have a crush on all of them," Felix simply said, "but please tell me that Sex-Song isn't about him." I didn't answer him.

And I found this situation so hilarious all of a sudden that I just broke out laughing. Felix looked at me confused. "Why are you laughing?" he asked. I wiped away some tears that escaped my eyes because I was laughing so hard. "I'm sorry- I just- It's so weird talking about this to you," I laughed. Felix started smiling too, soon starting to laugh with me. We laughed for a good five minutes before I managed to calm down.

I pulled him in for a hug. "You're the best brother on this earth, Lixie, but please don't try to talk about my Sex Life with me okay?" I mumbled, "I really love you, but that's too much for me to handle." He chuckled and hugged me back. "I agree. Just if there is something going on between you two... you can tell me," he whispered. I just hugged him tighter.

"Would that be bad?" I asked a bit scared. "I mean, it would be weird, but I think I would approve of Chan more than I approve of all the other boys you choose... Chan knows how to treat a girl right and he is very protective... he wouldn't do anything to hurt you I guess," Felix mumbled. "He asked me to be his girlfriend two days ago," I blurted out. Felix stiffened. "I was so scared to tell you! We did not plan this... it just happened, and I really wanted to tell you sooner, but I just couldn't bring myself to it," I tried to explain myself.

Felix pushed me away a little bit to look at me. Then he sighed. "How long has something been going on between you two?" he asked, "because if you two are together by now it has been going on for longer." "It started when Chan recorded my song with me," I simply said. "When you kicked us all out?" he asked and I just nodded. Felix sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. "Does anyone else know?" he asked.

"Minho walked in on us two days ago. He gave me a week to tell you or else he would have," I explained. "Walked in on you doing what?" Felix asked shocked. "We practically already finished... I just told you not to ask about my sex life!" I protested. "You guys are having Sex?" he said out a little too loud. "Felix, did you hear my song?" I asked him sarcastically, "he found out it's about him. Of course we had Sex. Anyways that's not the point! Please just don't be mad," I mumbled.

Felix pressed his lips together, then pulled me back into a hug. "I'm just mad because you hadn't told me earlier. You can always come to me even if you're dating my friends. I know you don't do it to hurt me," he said. I let out a breath. "I'm sorry," I mumbled. "And please don't kiss him in front of me," he simply said, which made us both laugh again. We were standing there like that, hugging, for a little while longer. "Can we prank him?" Felix suddenly said. "How?" I asked. "Can you still cry on command?" Felix grinned. "Yes," I answered confused. "Let's just pretend I'm totally against it," Felix grinned.