In my head | Bangchan

6

"I'm sorry," I mumbled after a while of just breathing. Chan was standing between my legs, holding my hands. I leaned back my head. "For what?" he asked confused. "For freaking out... it's just... it's the first time someone touched me like that since... you know what happened. And I suddenly got these flashbacks," I explained. A tear ran down my face.

"Hey, it's okay," Chan said, "I should have controlled myself more. I should have asked beforehand if it was okay..." "No, I liked what you did. I really did," I whispered. "I'm sorry. I never should have written that stupid song," I whispered.

"Nah, it's a banger. And I'm kinda flustered. Not gonna lie," he laughed, then turned soft again. "I will always stop if you don't like something, okay? You just have to tell me," he whispered. I nodded. I knew he was telling the truth. Then what just happened hit me. "Oh my god," I whispered and stared at him. He looked at me confused. "What?" he asked.

"We kissed! And did... whatever. We fully made out!" I said, shocked. He grinned shyly. "I was thinking to kiss you for a while now," he mumbled. "Since when?" I asked. "Since you recorded the song about Ryan Reynolds," he answered. I groaned. "I lied. It was about you as well," I answered. He chuckled. "I thought so," he mumbled. He let go of my hands and put his hands back on my thighs. He looked at me for a moment to check if it was okay with me.

"Listen, it was a heated moment... if you don't want to—" he started, but I interrupted him. "Are you kidding me? I have a crush on you since I am like 15," I said. "You do?" he asked, confused. I nodded. "Does Felix know?" he asked. "Of course he doesn't. You're one of his best friends! We probably shouldn't tell him what happened here as well," I mumbled.

"I agree," Chan answered. "Let's just go slow, okay? I... I need some time to do this," I whispered. "I won't pressure you," Chan said, "I would never do that. I promise," he said. I took a deep breath. It took all my courage, but I finally planted a sweet kiss on his lips. "But I'm not allowed to meet the older guy...," I joked.

He chuckled again. "I make an exception," he mumbled. I jumped down from the table. "But all older guys are assholes, didn't you say that?" I crossed my arms in front of my chest. "I was just jealous," he said. I rolled my eyes. "I hate to ruin the moment... but I think we should record the chorus once more," he finally said. "You sure you can behave while I sing that song?" I joked.

"It's hard, but I'll manage," he said. I grinned and got back into the booth. Not a moment too late because Jeongin just walked in. "Can we come back in again? We are in the practice room but it gets boring," he said. Chan looked at me. I had a confidence rush. "When you laugh I kick you out again," I simply said. He grinned and walked in, all the boys behind him.

***

"I'll admit, the song is good," Felix said after I recorded single parts of the song again. "I know," I answered. "But it's so weird hearing things like that out of your mouth... it makes me uncomfortable," he simply said. "Don't listen then," I told him and crossed my arms. "Hmm... and Mom will still kill you," Felix said matter-of-factly.

"I know. And I'm scared that she will take my phone away," I joked. "You're an adult," Seungmin said. "Yeah. She doesn't care," I replied. They all laughed. Chan was still sitting on his chair and had his headphones on. I couldn't help myself but stare around at him. He was doing something with my song, slightly nodding his head. I bit my lip, but quickly stopped as I remembered we weren't alone.

"So what do you guys think? Should I drop this song first or the Ryan Reynolds one?" I asked. I just accepted that it was the Ryan song by now. It actually was kinda funny. "I would say this one first because you surely will be in the media after dropping that bomb," Hyunjin said. "Felix's little sister is a hot mess!" Jisung said while imitating a reporter. I laughed. "I don't even wanna think about the headlines!" I said. "It will be huge," Felix shook his head.