Waiting On You | 𝑳𝑨𝑵𝑫𝑶𝑺𝑪𝑨𝑹

10 - To Strain Yourself for Nobody

LANDO POV

Feelings of betrayal and resentment surged through me as I grappled with the news of Carlos signing with Red Bull. How could he? After all the sacrifices I had made to secure him a place at McLaren, he made this decision without even a word of warning to me. What hurt the most was the suspicion that conversations with Red Bull had been ongoing for some time, yet he never considered telling me about it. I had tried my best to get him that seat, shredding my relationship with Oscar, for nothing.

Leaving the meeting, I couldn't bear the weight of Oscar's gaze. It felt like each glance was a stab, a reminder of my own vulnerability. The tears threatened to spill over, and I struggled to keep them at bay. The last thing I needed was his pity. So, I made a swift exit, desperate to escape the suffocating room in which I had been delivered the news.

In my mind, I cursed Carlos for everything he did, I cursed him for disregarding me, for making me feel used, I cursed him over and over endlessly. Despite it all, when I finally faced Carlos later that day and knocked on his door, none of the words I had rehearsed spilled forth. Instead, a quiet question escaped my lips: "Are you alone?"

As he nodded and ushered me inside, a wave of relief washed over me—or perhaps it was relief for him. If he had his girlfriend in the room, I doubted I could maintain my composure. But as I entered, there was only Carlos, alone with his thoughts, which were always a question mark to me.

''Why didn't you tell me?'' I asked him, initially trying to keep myself calm as I watched him close the door.

"Tell you what? That I signed?" he asked.

I took a deep breath, swallowing hard before nodding.

"It happened all way too fast," he began. "One of my mechanics told me he suspected Charles had been stealing information from Red Bull, and after some inspection, I found out he was! And I thought that was just the perfect thing to get me into Red Bull." He smiled, as if he expected me to share in his joy at this revelation, but it did nothing to ease my nerves. If anything, I couldn't shake the feeling of injustice. Charles had someone who truly loved him and had thrown it all away. He had what I wanted most and had disregarded it all without a second thought. Here I was, fighting for Carlos, yet I'd never even have the opportunity to betray him like that. You can't betray someone who doesn't love you.

"Why didn't you tell me when you found out?" My voice faltered.

"Did I have to?" he questioned.

It felt harder than ever to speak without crying. "I was trying to get you into McLaren. I'd like to know at least, so I don't keep trying things if you're going somewhere else..."

"I didn't tell you just in case the deal didn't go through. Then I still had McLaren," he said.

"So, McLaren was always just a second option."

"Of course, Red Bull is better," he chuckled.

"But..." I paused, gathering the courage to say it, "in McLaren, you'd be with me."

"I'm here for championships, not for you, Lando," he debated, finding my words somewhat amusing.

"I'd have done it for you," I confessed, tears welling up in my eyes.

"Done what? Gone to McLaren instead of Red Bull?"

"Yes," I nodded.

"Why? You'd rather have me in your team than take shots at a championship?"

Suddenly, I exploded, tears cascading down my cheeks. "Shots at the championship? Really, Carlos?" I said, my voice trembling, startling him. "You really think you have any shots at any damn championship in a team with Max Verstappen? You're a second driver there with no chance whatsoever of becoming the main driver. Not only is he a better driver than you, but he absolutely despises you. You'll be lucky if you get a few podiums. Max will have you dead before you win."