Waiting On You | 𝑳𝑨𝑵𝑫𝑶𝑺𝑪𝑨𝑹

5- Not Again

A podium.

That day I shared a podium with Charles Leclerc and Checo Perez.

Yet, the air in the cooling room was heavy with tension. Charles barely spoke and neither did I as we watched the scenes of the crash between Carlos and Max replay on the television, cameras zooming into our faces to catch a glimpse of a reaction.

None of us dared to speak a word about it.

That day I was welcomed with open arms by my father and my team but there were no signs of Lando Norris. He had left, I knew he had.

I didn't wait to know whether I'd see him again that weeknd. On an express flight, I went back home with my father, being able to celebrate there with him and my mother before the next race.

That weekend the feeling of guilt took the best of me and I took the opportunity of being in Australia to meet up with my girlfriend, Lily.

"We need to break up," I told her once we were in the secluded space of her living room.

Lily's expression shifted from confusion to shock as my words sank in. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she struggled to find her voice.

"What? Why?" Her voice trembled with a mixture of hurt and disbelief.

"Long distance... It's been harder than I thought, Lily," I said, my own voice strained. "Things happened and..."

Her eyes widened in shock, and she recoiled as if I had struck her. "What things?"

"Things," I shook my head, my eyes scanning for every corner of the house except for her face.

"Did you cheat on me?" she spoke, her voice barely audible.

"Yes," I confessed, my voice barely above a whisper. "I cheated on you."

Her breath caught in her throat, and tears began to well up in her eyes. "How could you?" she whispered, her voice cracking with emotion.

"I don't know," I admitted, my heart heavy with guilt.

"You don't know?" she frowned, "Who was it?"

"It doesn't matter," I shook my head, standing up from the couch.

As I stood up, Lily's eyes followed me, filled with disbelief and pain. "It matters to me," she said, her voice trembling with emotion. "I deserve to know."

I hesitated, knowing I couldn't tell her the truth and take Lando down with me in the process. Taking a deep breath, I met her gaze. "It was someone from work," I confessed, unable to look her in the eye.

Lily's expression darkened, hurt and anger flashing in her eyes. "So I trusted you, and you betrayed me with someone you see every day?" she asked, her voice laced with bitterness.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "I never meant to hurt you."

But my apology fell on deaf ears as Lily turned away from me, her tears flowing freely now. I had shattered her trust, and I knew there was no going back.

"Please, just leave."

I left.

The truth was that I saw no point in making excuses and lingering into an unfaithful love that my heart no longer beat for. That wasn't me leaving her because I had feelings for Lando, but for the simple fact I don't think I'd have allowed myself to cheat on someone I truly loved. I saw no point in feeding a relationship where that was not fully committed to, it wasn't in me to do that. Lying wasn't in my nature.

I'd like to believe that was also the same reason why Lando wasn't in a relationship.

My next encounter with Lando for the Monza Grand Prix felt eerily normal, as if nothing had happened in between us. He delivered his signature sarcastic remarks, and I responded with practiced smiles, as though following a well-rehearsed script. Yet, whenever we went back to our hotels I would hear Lando's door open as he left the room, every night without fail.