I've Learned

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I can't believe I am scared. I can kick this guy's ass. He thinks he can put his slimy hands all over me. It won't work. I will knock him the fuck out.

"I'm trying to go pee!" I argue and block him from coming into the bathroom. "Listen, Zack! You're cute and all. But I'm taken and you're kind of creepy."

"I just want to talk and get to know you, Hannah." He smiles the creepiest fucking smile.

"Listen, Zack. I thought you were the cutest of the group. Don't prove me wrong. Don't be all creepy and shit. And let me pee."

"I will, after you let me in!" He pushes the door farther open, forcing himself into the bathroom. "We can talk, can't we?"

"Not while I need to fucking pee!" I argue and clench my fist tight. "I don't think you understand. I am truly trained to kick some ass. Don't think I won't use it on you."

My heart is pounding, and I am getting nervous. I do believe I can kick his ass, but he's kind of big. He might be able to win in a fight. Either way, my body realizes the danger I am in even in my drunken state.

"How about one kiss?" He asks and flashes his eyebrows.

"How about NOT!" Lacey's voice calls out from behind him. I've never seen a man spin around so fast in my life.

I lean against the wall and begin to bawl my fucking eyes out knowing I am getting saved! Macey squeezes between the guy and the door and I can hear a scuffle. Even with tears pouring out of my eyes I can see fists flying.

Is Lacey kicking his ass right now?

"Hannah!" Macey wraps her arms around me and the terror in her tone forces me to bawl even harder. I lean my body against hers and even in my drunkest state I know how bad that could have been.

I slowly drop to the floor, and Macey follows down with me. "It's okay!" She says softly and rubs the top of my head. "We are here. You're going to be just fine. I promise no one will ever fucking hurt you."

"You can say that again!" Lacey adds.

I can't see much between the tears and my drunken blurriness, but I can see that Lacey is here for me and helping even though shit went very south with us. She's the reason Ryan and I split up, yet she's the first one here.

Am I being the selfish one?

"Come on, Hannah," Lacey commands as she wraps her arm under mine. Both Lacey and Macey help me off the ground. I feel stupid and sick!

An hour later. I am sick to my stomach and not from the alcohol. It's because I feel some sort of way. Lacey and Macey are in the living room of my apartment, and I am lying in my bed drunk and hating myself.

A knock at my bedroom door and I look up to see Macey standing there. "Are you still stupidly drunk or can we head out for the night?"

"I'm stupidly drunk!" I admit. "But you two can go if you want. I'm so sorry for putting you two in that predicament tonight..." I pause and even drunk my breath hitches. "Is Lacey pissed at me?"

"She's not ready to forgive you. But the door is open for forgiveness. She just has to walk through it. Even if somehow you and Ryan get back together, she still might forgive you. If tonight wasn't a sign of her love for you, I don't know what is."

I nod. "Thanks. Tell her I love her. I know she's not going to come in here. So at least let her know how sorry I am."

"She knows, Hannah. She knows. But she doesn't want to come in here because she wasted her energy doing something else for you."

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