In the Grim Dark Future of the 41st Millenium There Is Only Cringe

Leo, The Librarius Omnis of Mars

"From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the Blessed Machine. Your kind cling to your flesh, as though it will not decay and fail you. One day the crude biomass you call the temple will wither, and you will beg my kind to save you. But I am already saved, for the Machine is immortal... Even in death I serve the Omnissiah."
— Mago Dominus Reditus of the Adeptus Mechanicus

"Average Redditor."
—Techno-archeologist Leo Valdez

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Deep beneath the irradiated red soil of Mars, lies a sprawling Labyrinth shrouded in darkness and secrets. This maze is not without purpose, for it is a vast repository of knowledge whose contents stretch back far before the founding of the Imperium of Man, before even the Dark Age of Technology, all the way back to the days of legend when mankind erected their first settlement on the red planet. Such knowledge is valuable beyond measure to mankind, and many expeditions have ventured into the shadowy depths in hope of retrieving even a single template of some long lost technology.

But like the Labyrinth of ancient Terran myth, danger awaited those who entered the Librarius Omnis. Ancient wards and traps designed to keep trespassers out with dead force; the crazed survivors of failed excursions who lost their minds in the never ending tunnels; remnants of the abominable intelligences that had ripped mankind from its golden age; and eldritch xenos gods from a long dead civilization were but a few of the horrors rumored to stalk the endless maze.

Only the bravest of souls dare venture inward.

"We got the funk! We got the funk! Yeah!"

Or the most... eccentric.

"We got the funk you can dance to! We don't mind if you choose not toooo!"

Tech-priest Leo Valdez of the Adeptus Mechanicus was firmly in that latter category. The young man not only journeyed through the cursed depths of the Librarius Omnis once, but set up his own workshop away from the prying eyes- both organic and cybernetic -of his peers. The path, and the dangers on it, became so familiar that he sang and danced along the way.

"All we ask is that you get down! We feel better having you around!"

The hem of his martian red robes triggered a millenia-years-old motion sensor as he rounded a corner formed from long corrupted server stacks. The sensor sent a pulse of data through multiple means, causing a hidden compartment in the corridor wall to open with a low rumble and a spray of irradiated dust. Ancient eyes peered out through the darkness as a multitude of servos whirred and whined to strike down the cloaked intruder.

Only for it to be stilled by a blast of superheated plasma.

"Maybe next time, Bob," Leo laughed before blowing on the glowing coils of his plasma pistol. The 'hidden' compartment slid shut with a disappointed mechanical whine as the mechadendrite holding connected to his weapon retracted back under his robes and into the hollowed out cavity in his chest with the rest of his tools and other things that went 'boom.' "Put a little oil on those joints and I'm sure you'll get me!"

A dismissive burst of data filled the buffers of his augmented sensors before the machine spirit returned to its slumber. "01111001 01100101 01100001 01101000 00101110 00100000 01111001 01100101 01100001 01101000 00101110 00100000 01110111 01101000 01100001 01110100 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 00101110 00100000 01010100 01100001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01100011 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01001100 01100101 01101111 00101110"