Lost But Found

NINE

"First rule, everything said or done in this basement is a secret." said Riley "If you know you can't keep secrets, leave. I know it seems rude but the reason one of us was kicked from this gang two months ago was because he spilled our secrets. Second rule, never be shy, never feel shame. Act whatever the fuck you like, and ask whatever the fuck you want. Even if it's private."

"What if... " i interrupted him. "What if someone doesn't want to answer a private question?"

"Easy. They just don't." Benji answered."They politely say that they aren't ready to answer such a question."

"Third rule" continued Riley. "Never judge. Fourth rule, no drinking."

I kept watching him with a frown. I was confused. These guys don't drink? I would expect that from Zuri or Benji, but not Riley, or Quinn or the red haired girl. I needed to understand. 

"I know you have many questions but I would appreciate it if you wait till i finish. Fifth rule, if you ever date any of us and it doesn't end well, either you stay friends, either one of you leaves. Sixth rule, which is the last one, if you leave this gang, never EVER spill our secrets or else, there will be revenge. A really heartless revenge. Oh, and by the way, you're not officially a member until you've survived the five-meet-us days."

"What are the fiv-"

"Members of the gang need to approve your application." Quinn answered before I finish asking.

 "Therefore, they need to get to know you. So, there are five days, where each day, you hang out with one of us."

"AHH!! I'm so excited!" Zuri shouted like a kid. "I'd like to be the first companionship!"

"Alright, you will hang out with Zuri first, then with Benji, Storm third, and Riley fourth." Quinn pointed to each one of them as he spoke. 

New information: the red haired girl is named Storm. 

"Now, you can ask if you have questions" Quinn said as he sat on the couch. 

"Umm.. Well, I'd like to know whose house is this? And whose idea was it to create this gang?"

"This is actually Elias's house. My older brother" Quinn answered calmly. "But he gave me permission to use it. He lives in Switzerland now and will probably never come back."

"Redboy was always sitting alone in our freshman year." Riley explained "My curious ass wanted to know him so, i introduced myself, we became friends, he invited me over, we discovered that we are two fucking broken kids, then in sophomore year, we met a new student called Alex who was suffering from.. " he looked at Quinn, but his head was down ".. from things. So we tried to help and.. "

His tone was changing, and his voice was shaking. There is something wrong. 

"Anyway, that was how our group was created. But many members aren't here anymore. So.. "

I wanted to know. Where's this Alex? Why isn't he or she here anymore? And why did Quinn change his expressions all of a sudden? How can he have all this house for himself? Is he living alone? Where are his parents? 

My head is buzzing with a million questions, all shouting for answers. But i didn't dare to ask. I know the second rule is to never feel shame, but how can i ask, after seeing the atmosphere suddenly change? 

Suddenly, my phone started ringing, interrupting my train of thoughts. It scared me since it's been days since i last used my phone. I forgot it existed. 

I quickly took my phone out of my pocket to check who was calling. 

Theo.

I started shaking. Why is he calling? Why now? 

Why do exes always come back when you feel like you moved on and started a new life? I'm not an expert, but i saw that in movies, serials and books. 

"Cassie, are you feeling alright?" Zuri asked with a worried face on her face. "You're shaking and your face is pale."

"I think.. I think i need to take this."

I ran out of the door and sat on a stoop. I don't know how i managed to run. My legs were shaking. My heart was pounding really fast in my chest. My finger unconsciously picked up.

"Hi" I whispered, feeling the tears on their way. 

"Finally! God, Cassie! Where were you all this time?"

I know that tone. He isn't asking about my well-being. It's just an introduction. 

"What do you want?" I asked, feeling angry and sad at the same time. 

"What do i want?" He laughed "You ruin my life then ask me what do i want?"

This isn't going to be easy. 

"I didn't mean to.. I never said you cheated, i promis-"

"Hell no, you didn't" he laughed again, sarcastically "I lost my childhood best friend because of you. Claire dumped me before i even confessed. Thank you so much."

I stayed silent.

"You quite now? Look, I'm not here to start another argument. I called to make sure you understand that you're the one in the wrong here. I wanted to call, to make sure you're feeling guilty."

"Theo, stop. I really am not in a mood for this, okay? I apologize. I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to expose you."

"I loved Claire. I really did. Now i lost her. Thanks to you."

It hurts. It really does. It hits right in the heart. 

"I'll fix that, I'll talk to her, I'll convince her, just stop blaming me." I was crying "I know I made a mistake but.. I loved you too. I really did. I cared about you. I want you to imagine how i feel in return. Oh wait, you do, because she dumped you too. But that's way better than someone breaking up with you because they like someone else. You made me feel like trash."

I won't shut up. I hate being blamed for something I didn't mean to do. I know he's right. But like he lost the one he loved, i lost mine too. I can't keep listening to his complaints. I can complain too. And I, feel so much more pain. I know that. 

I placed the phone away from my ear, so that i don't have to listen to Theo. I could only hear his voice shouting. 

I hung up. 

The dangerous thought Quinn mentioned before, crossed my mind. Maybe it is for the better. I don't trust myself. I know I am able to do that, anytime. Tonight. 

I'll just enjoy this night. My last night.

When i got up to join the others in the basement, I found Quinn leaning on the door frame, arms crossed, looking at me with a little sad smile. 

"Aw, come here." He hugged me. 

I couldn't enjoy that. I was on the verge of crying. Maybe I am crying. My body was like a statue. I couldn't move. While Quinn, was hugging me and patting my hair softly, i was standing there, frozen and dead like. 

He then let go and placed his hands on my shoulders. "No need to come back here. I'll take you somewhere cool."

I nodded. 

Right then, i was feeling really empty. I couldn't think or talk. My brain was completely blank. 

I let Quinn guide me. 

Please, take me anywhere as long as it's not home.