The Beloved

Past revealed

When Arohi regained consciousness, she realized that she was resting her head on a pillow. Her legs were plopped up on a SK's lap and he was rubbing her feet. She tried to move while SK said, "Medhuva maa. Are you feeling ok?" She quickly pulled her leg off his lap, "Aiyoooo enna pannareenga?" Then, in an impulse, she pulled herself towards him and hugged him. Tears started to roll down her cheeks. He held her trembling body.

Arohi said, "SK enna pathi ellam therinjum why are you being kind to me? Leela ma'am unga amma nu therinja apparam I feel so guilty but I think you deserve to know my entire story." She let go of him and held his hand. She could not look into his eyes but she continued, "not as my doctor but as her son. Ennoda story kettadhukku apparam, I don't know how you will feel about me but before I begin I need to tell you something. I have never felt safe with anyone before but I don't know what it is about you. I needed you to know that."

SK gently cupped her face and said, "Look at me Arohi." Their eyes met. She saw sincerity in his eyes when he said, "I do not get this close to anyone unless I genuinely care. I want to say something to you as well and I promise you that whatever I say now comes from my heart. It is not going to change after I hear your story. You are a very special person. You are my Ruhi. Do you know what that means? It means ascending, rising above and you are going to fight this trauma and rise above it. We will do this together. Ruhi, I don't know what you have done to me but I promise to be with you always. Now it is your turn to promise me that you will let it all out. Tell me everything."

SK's words were so emotional. She pulled herself closer to him and their foreheads touched. It felt intimate and romantic yet soulful. She smiled at him and sighed heavily before speaking, "I was 10 when my parents finally got divorced. My mom got complete custody and was able to get a restraining order against my dad. I never saw him again until much later. My mom partied a lot and came back home drunk. I was raised by Rani akka. She was the only one who had a soft corner for me. Rani akka was a young widow. She was the cook at our house and my caretaker. Although she took care of my needs I yearned for parental love."

"My mom got violent when she was drunk. She would come home late and wake Rani akka up demanding certain food. She was mean to Rani akka. My mom would break glasses and I would wake up at the sound because I knew she would come to my room to find me next. I would run and hide inside the dark closet for hours. Most mornings Rani akka would find me trembling and sleeping in the closet. My grandfather was heartbroken to see what had happened to my mother. His health was deteriorating too so he sent me to a hostel. I studied in a hostel from my 6th standard. I dreaded coming home during holidays. That's where I became friends with Aisha. She was the only one who knew some information about my family. There have been several occasions when I would go to her house during short vacations."

"Grandpa tried to take mom to AA (Alcoholic Anonymous) but she would be sober for a few days only to have withdrawals and return back to her ways. A couple of years later grandpa passed away too. Until then I would get a birthday present, Diwali gifts etc from home but after that there was nothing. Aisha used to share her gift with me" she smiled. Then Arohi started to tremble. SK realized that she was very close to talk about the trauma. He held her hands. She looked up at him with fear in her eyes. He gently touched her cheeks and said, "It is ok. I am right here with you. The trauma is in the past. Just face it and it will be over, I promise."

Arohi gulped and nodded. Her voice started to shake, "It... it was after my 10th public exam. We had given our exams and had to pack our belongings and leave. I did not have a choice but to go home so I did. Rani akka was the only one happy to see me but it broke my heart to see her. She was dealing with my mom's abuse. Poor Rani akka had no place to go to. Rani akka had prepared my favourite food as it was my birthday. Aisha had sent me a beautiful dress which I was wearing that evening. I, along with Rani akka decided to go to the temple. As I stepped out of my room, so did my drunk mom."

Arohi's throat was getting dry. SK quickly handed her some water, "Thanni kudi maa." She quickly gulped down the water. Then she looked into SK's eyes and said, "Naan... naan venumnu pannale. It...it was an accident." SK hugged her tightly, "Sollu maa. Naan thaan irukken la?" She wiped her tears and continued, "She started abusing me and asked me who gave me the dress. I tried to tell her that it was a friend but she accused me of having a relationship with someone who was gifting me this. She called me names and was about to hit me when Rani akka came in the way. My mom tried to attack Rani. When I.... When I pulled Rani akka from mom's clutches, she....she..."

Arohi's body was shivering. She curled up as she was reliving it. She wrapped her arms around her knees. She started to sweat. SK held on to her, "We are almost there maa. Mudinju pochu. Your night mare is over. You can do this. I know you can." Arohi looked into his eyes and said, "She lost her balance and fell off those stairs. She tumbled down and I...I couldn't stop her. Before I knew it, there was blood pouring out of her head. I.....I don't know what happened after that. The next thing I remember is that I was at the hospital and my dad was sitting next to me."

Arohi looked at SK helplessly, "SK I didn't mean to hurt her. I only wanted to protect Rani akka. When I woke up I came to find out that Rani akka had called Dad right away. Police had come and she had explained it all. I had memory loss for a while until it all started to come back and the nightmares too." Then she looked at him innocently and said, "SK you know what, even though my mother never loved me, I have always felt sorry for her. I still feel guilty."

SK held her hands and said, "Ruhi my dear dear Ruhi, you did nothing wrong. You are as innocent as a baby. Now your nightmares will start to disappear and you will start seeing beautiful dreams. I will make sure to give you those moments, our moments. You must be tired. Why don't you rest for sometime? I will be right back." He gave her a few minutes to relax and came back with some warm milk and a sleeping pill. "I don't want you to be alone tonight."

Brinda Subramanian