Over and Over

Chapter 5

(Holly's P.O.V)

I sit in the corner of my couch in my bedroom, spinning my phone around in my hands. I think back to everything that happened that night, without a clue knowing what the future held for me, for us. I just wanted to hear them again, see them again.

The funeral was tomorrow, Liz and Danny had everything sorted. Except they freak out over everything. I couldn't be anywhere near them or to be honest around anyone.

I pull out the piece of paper from my jogging bottoms, it is the speech that everyone is expecting to hear from me tomorrow, although I weren't too sure anymore. I stare at the words but can't read it, sitting on my couch facing directly at my mirror, but tears kept arising. I wanted to do this,but I couldn't. It is just so irritating. My nerves, the memories and insecurities just get the best of me, even for my family.

There was a knock on the door; I quickly wiped my face, to make it look I weren't crying and faced down at the paper. "Dinner's ready?" It was Luke, poking his face through the door with an anonymous in the background. "What you up to?" He asked quietly as he walked over to the couch beside me with a Michael following him and he sat on my bed cuddling Snoots! My dad gave him to me when I was 3 probably and Michael came up with the name.

"Nothing really."

"Do you play?" Michael asked. Pointing at the acoustic sitting beside me.

"A bit." I sniffle.

"Cool." Michael says quietly. My face remains staring at the paper as I clutch my phone in my fist.

Liam still had no change in his health and was still at the hospital. I wish he could wake up, so he could come as well. On second thoughts ... It's better he isn't here to see all the chaos.

"Now-erm-food?" Michael whined. He looked like a small puppy with his white dyed hair and black patch.

"I'm not hungry. You guys can go." I say solemnly.

"You haven't eaten since we gotten back. It's not healthy." Luke says.

"I have eaten, you seriously don't have to worry."

"Everyone's downstairs?"

"I- I-I can't mikey." I cry. I feel his arms coming around me as I rest my head on his chest.

"That's okay. A bit later yeah?" Luke whispers coming over squeezing my shoulder. 

I pull back from Michael feeling ridiculous for breaking down like that. "I'm okay. I'll be down in a while." With the indication they walked out my bedroom leaving the chimes on the door ringing as they shut the door.

After probably an hour I decided to pick myself up and present myself downstairs. I first take the chimes off the door and lay it on the bed slowly and step  out the door stumbling over the stairs. I hold the rail firmly taking a deep breath as my chest tightens. 

I finally reach the bottom stair and a sigh of relief lets out. I reach out for the kitchen door to drag me in. I trip onto the sink holding my face in my hands.

A hand comes over my shoulder, I pick my head up and face ... Ashton. He uses his finger to get my hair out of my face. "It's going to be okay. I promise." He says pulling me into a hug. I feel his lips imprint my forehead.

I feel a vibration in my back pocket. I pull my phone out and Ashton breaks free from me. "What's wrong?"

"I-erm got a notification telling me I have a voicemail... from my mum." My arms begin to feel stiff and my throat holds an undissolvable lump which just sits there waiting for the tears to accompany it once again.

"Are you going to listen to it?"

 I open the backyard door which is accessed in the kitchen and I sit on the step and Ashton joins me. My hands shake as I try to listen to the message.

"One new message. Message one on the 2nd June at 9:13PM." It plays on speaker. "Hi baby, I'm sorry I yelled at you before.I know you have exams and stuff and you're stressed out. Get to sleep early tonight, school tomorrow remember? We'll be home soon. Love you babe. And tell her not to eat my food in the fridge! And that she's a poo head!" James and Liam yell in the back and mum ending the message with a slight laugh. "End of message." My eyes begin to tear and my body shivers, my head leans on the side of the wall. I sense Ashton standing up and moving away. Another set of arms came around my waist pulling me into a hug, I didn't have to look up to realise it was him, his husky fragrance said enough.

"It's okay, let it out." He says whilst hugging me tighter. Despite the fact I could hardly breathe with his strength gripping me, I feel safer wherever he was around.

AN:
Hi guys. IM REALLY SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN FOREVER.
I owe you all an explanation, these few weeks have been so busy. First it was me going on holiday which turned out to be a disaster and then my GCSES and then college and A levels hitting me like a fricking truck. It's been crazy basically and I'm sorry X

So how old are you and what year/class are you in?

I really hope you liked this chapter! Tell me what you think of it in the comments below. And like and share to all your amazing friends xx

Hoping to update again really soon I promise xx

Sc: scrawt19
Twitter: Ashxxtnn

Saba :B