Colors and Life / Soviet x Reich

Chapter 26

I go to the pond and sit on the stone. I look at my reflection in the water. I look sad into the water. Why is everyone afraid of me? I don't bring death and bad luck, do I? I don't know. I don't know who I am, I don't know what I am or why I exist at all. I don't know what to do. Should I keep hiding until I'm found and killed? Should I travel around the world and find out if they want to kill me everywhere? Should I even see Soviet again tomorrow? What if he wants to kill me too? What if he only loves me from then? What if he breaks my heart

Maybe I'll just steal a rope and hang myself so that nobody has to suffer anymore. Then they don't have to suffer through my wings and I don't have to hide or fear anymore. They could never hurt me again. But I still have the hope that Soviet will love me with these wings too. I can't die until I keep my promise. I want to be happy once more. I want to hug him one more time. I want to kiss him one more time and tell him that I love him with all my heart. I just want to see him again once. He is the most important thing for me that there is and I want him to know that.

I get up again and go into the cave. I lie down on the floor and wrap my wings around me. What should I do? I'm not only afraid for myself, but also for Soviet. If Soviet really still loves me and takes me with him and Second Reich finds out I'm alive, Soviet will probably be in trouble. Why does everything have to be so difficult? I hate my life! No matter what I do, I get everyone in trouble! Why? Why me?! Maybe it really is better when I die. I don't know what to do anymore! I am so desperate! Maybe I should sleep and think about what to do tomorrow.

I snuggle up together. I miss my bed. I miss the books. I'm not even done with the love story. My potions and recipes are still in the castle! How could I forget that? Flying back would be a stupid idea. I'm sure they're just expecting me to come. I guess I'll stay here and try to sleep. I can't do anything better right now. It takes a long time before I get tired and fall asleep. I'm lying in a warm and soft bed. There is someone lying next to me, when I look at his face I see Soviet. He has an arm around me and I snuggle up to him. He sleeps so calmly and peacefully that I don't want to wake him up.

I hear someone behind me, but don't turn around as I might just be imagining it. I feel a wave of pain go through me as someone rams something sharp into my back. I whimper quietly from the pain, but I try to be as quiet as I can. Whoever takes out the knife and rams it in my right eye. Who is that and why is he doing that? The knife is then rammed into my stomach. I have to stay quiet, my feeling tells me. I try to stay as quiet as possible, even if something in me at least wants to say quietly 'Ouch'. I just whimper quietly as the knife is rammed into my body over and over again.

I try to turn to the person behind me, but he put the knife in my head. I fall over and put a hand on Soviet cheek before the pain knocks me out. I am waking up slowly. I'm cold and I pulled my wings back in my sleep. I put my wings around myself again and try to sleep, but I can no longer sleep and hunger and thirst annoy me. However, I don't want to eat or drink anything. I just feel like it. I go outside and sit on the stone by the pond and look at the night sky. What should I do? I want to see him, but would get him in trouble.

I get up and take a few steps into the water and lie down on it. I lie with my back on the water and have stuck out my legs and arms. I don't go down and look up to the sky. If there is really a monster lurking in the depths of the cold pond, it can get me, I will not fight back. I will not fight back any more. The moon is so beautiful. Suddenly I see a black figure up there. I get up again, get out of the water and spread my wings. Fortunately, they are water repellent and can therefore immediately lift me into the air. I fly around the person and he stops in the air and looks after me. He's about my size.

I'm getting closer to him to find out who it is. I make myself big and try to appear dangerous. When I was closer to him, I see his black, red, yellow face with glasses and he has black wings. It is 'my little brother' Weimar. He adjusts his glasses and looks at me with wide eyes. He will pay for it! I try to attack him, but he holds his hands protectively in front of him and says: "Please don't hurt me brother." Now he calls me 'brother' too! "I haven't been your brother for five years or hasn't your father told you yet?", I yell at him. "I didn't thought dad would do that. I didn't want him to harm you!", says Weimar.

"I don't believe you a word!", I shout angrily at him. I still want to hit him so badly. "Brother, I really didn't want and don't want to harm you. To me you are still a part of my family. I know that you are incredibly angry, but I tried to help you. Even if I didn't quite make it.", he claims. I ask him: "Give me proof!" "I gave the guards the water that you got in the cell on the third day. Because dad found out, he locked me in my room and from there I saw that you fled and I haven't told anyone about it until today.", he says.

I really didn't see him with the people back then and if he really hadn't seen me, he would certainly have fled from me earlier. Still, I don't trust him! I need a better proof. He comes closer to me, whereupon I show him my teeth. He doesn't let that frighten him and takes another swing before putting his arms around me and snuggling up to me. I am really confused. "I really missed you big brother.", he whispers. He's smiling and he seems to be crying a little too. I also put my arms around him and hug him. I guess he really missed me. "I... I'm really sorry big brother.", he apologizes.

"It's okay.", I tell him and stroke his back. After a while he lets go of me and drops a few meters down to spread his wings and flutter up to me. Weimar asks me: "How are you?" "Not good. I was at Soviet's palace for almost a moon, but Afghanistan showed everyone except Soviet who I am. Now I have no longer my great love around me and no friendly children around me.", I tell him. "Afghanistan really didn't mean it badly. She just wanted to scare you and give people security.", says Weimar, "I was just with her. She even wanted to give you the chance to fly away."

"Oh really?", I ask sarcastically, because I don't believe him. He replies: "Yes, she knows that you have these special wings and wanted everyone to feel safe, show everyone who you really are and scare you away from the castle. She doesn't want to hurt you. She also didn't tell Soviet Union anything about it, otherwise he would go crazy and since he is unpredictable, we are afraid what he would do if he found out what my dad tried. We just want to keep the peace, brother. Your Soviet Union is incredibly dangerous when it is angry." "I still don't believe you!", I make it clear to him. "I know. I also know that you will see him again tomorrow.

I ask you to reassure him that he is not going crazy. Unfortunately I have to go back, otherwise I'll have problems with dad, but I'll be over in the next few days. I promise you brother!", he promises before he flies away and waves me goodbye. I fly back to the pond and land. Did Afghanistan really wanted to help me? Somehow my feeling believes my 'brother'. He's lying to me, but I am I'm not sure. I go back into my cave and lie down. I want to try again to sleep. I don't care about nightmares. I just want this night to go by quickly. I'm slowly falling asleep again.