ꜱᴏɴɢ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴠᴇ ✦

II

I can't believe him! I never thought that he would do this! When Percy came back, when he managed to return the Bolt... Luke asked him to join his cause, and Percy refused. I don't think Luke intended for him to survive the scorpion, or for me to find out; but either way- its HORRIBLE

I want to think that this wasn't Luke's idea, that perhaps Kronos forced him, yeah either way, he didn't hesitate to perform the dirty deed. If this is what he's fighting for, if this is what I signed up to do...

I want out.

But if I ask, will I be able to walk free and stay neutral, maybe, or would he... dispose of me, as he attempted to do with Percy? I'm so frightened that it will be the latter.

I don't think I have the courage to tell him I'm done.

How am I supposed to fight in this war? I can't bring myself to hurt my family at camp, yet I'm too scared to change sides. Would I be able to fight for the Olympians anyway? Even if they are the better choice of two evils... could I bring myself to defend the very people who hurt so many of my friends?

I wish that I was just a normal girl, living in the mortal world. It would be so much simpler than this messed up life full of tragedy and death. If I wasn't the daughter of the Goddess of Love, I never would have known about this war. I would be safe.

I know, it's selfish, but what can I do?

However, that happy reality is not possible, so I guess I just have to make do with this one. I'm scared though, and I can't see how I'll be able to do this without hurting those I love. I hate myself for believing Luke, for thinking that if I listened to him there would be this magic solution to all the problems in the world.

There's no such thing as magic. Despite living in a world of gods and monsters, the divine create more problems than they solve. I suppose if they can't help us, then we have to pave our own paths. Maybe it's better this way, maybe it's not.

I don't know anymore.

Just a warning, this story gets very depressing very fast. If you're uncomfortable with self-hate in a book, I'd suggest leaving and finding a different story. Thanks!

~🌊