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(TW: Death.)
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Draco's breath came in breathless rasps as he laid silently on the hospital bed, gazing listlessly at the ceiling. He'd been diagnosed with an illness, a serious respiratory illness. Worse than his initial asthma. The only movement the devastated young man made was the idle sliding of his wedding ring that twinned with hers. He thought about how he was a month away from his twenty-fourth birthday. Then he thought about how he might now even live that long.
"Do you think I'll die?" He asked quietly, his voice octaves lower than his usual arrogant explosive tones. Draco's despairing grey eyes, which had been alight as they both discussed his birthday this morning, were now weak and red rimmed. "I don't want to die. Not yet", he added on somberly, exhaling a heavy breath.
"You better not die. I need you.. I don't know if I could live without you." Her eyes were puffy, bloodshot, from all the crying she had done behind closed doors. She pretended to be strong for him.
Draco raised a shaky hand, his grip tightening around hers as the young man held her hand tenderly. "I'm not going to die. Not yet. I promise." He spoke softly, trying desperately to reassure his beloved though the words sounded hollow to his own ears.
"But if.. if I do." He gulped hard, struggling to keep his tone steady. "I want you to move on. Live. Don't waste your life being... mourning over me."
She brought her hand up to her mouth, fingers still intertwined with his, and kissed his skin softly. She left their hands there, wanting to feel his touch.
"No.. no." Her voice was weak, strained. "I need you to grow old with me."
His chest rose and fell with each heavy breath he took. His gaze returned to the ceiling as his jaw worked silently, chewing on the thought of leaving her behind, his soul mate, his beloved for life. The young man had never felt this afraid before. He was more afraid of leaving her than his own demise.
His heart swelled with emotion when she took his hand in hers, and kissed his skin. That was his only solace. Her touching him, being close. He'd never let go.
She brought her hand up, brushing his hair out of his forehead. She couldn't stand to see him like this. "I love you so damn much. Don't you dare leave me."
"I love you too," he whispered, his dry throat making each syllable crack and rough. His eyes closed as his face curled into a weak smile, but as quickly as the expression settled over his face, it fell back into misery. Draco didn't know what to do with his fear; it made him feel so powerless. The young man turned his head to the side and laid his forehead to her palm, eyes still closed. "Just. Hold me," he croaked, wanting to feel her warmth, her nearness.
She sat herself onto the edge of the hospital bed, wrapping her arms ever so gently around him as if she was afraid to hurt him. She placed his head onto her chest as she played with his hair softly.
His body relaxed into hers as he let out a shaky breath. A sense of comfort washed over him as she pulled him gently into her embrace, her arms cradling his weakened form. Her touch was soothing to the nervous young man's frazzled senses. He breathed in the smell of her skin, burying his face into the crook of her neck. Draco felt safe when he was in her arms, and he wanted to stay there forever.
She couldn't help but quietly cry to herself. The love of her life has fallen so severely ill and there was nothing she could do to help. It broke her into a million pieces. She wanted to scream. She wanted to ask God 'why him'.
"Don't cry," He whispered, his voice hoarse and cracking, his grip on her hand tightening. The young man's chest rose and fell rapidly, as his chest hurt when he breathed. He felt more vulnerable in her presence, as he clung to her desperately, as if he were a scared child. "I don't like it when you cry," he mumbled, his face buried into her neck, his breathing still shaky.
"Shhh." She quietly shushed him, knowing how much it hurt him to talk. "Don't hurt yourself more just for me."
Her tender shushing quieted Draco's protests, the young man settling back down into her arms. "Promise me," he said, his voice weak, "That you won't spend the rest of your life mourning. Live." His grip tightened on her hand again, his fingers squeezing hers possessively. "You have to be strong," he added softly.
She closed her eyes as she felt the pain of his words hit her. "I can't. You know I can't promise that."
"Try," he whispered, "for me. Please." A look of desperation crossed the young man's face as he squeezed her hand again, his body still trembling slightly from the cold. Though he'd tried to ignore the thought of leaving her, Draco felt a pang of guilt now from realizing that he might die and leave her all alone. The thought consumed him as his anxiety rose with each passing moment.
All she could do was nod. She couldn't speak without breaking into a sob. She reached down and pulled the blankets over him, making sure to cover every inch beside his head.
As she covered him in blankets, Draco relaxed into her embrace. He felt like he could simply fall asleep and never wake up, the fatigue beginning to take hold. His body trembled with the chill and he shivered softly. As she tucked the blankets around him, he snuggled closer against her warm body, his grip on her hand loosening. "I'm cold," he mumbled softly, wanting her to hold him tighter.
She moved herself closer, trying everything she could do to warm him.
He let out a soft breath, his body settling as her warm body snuggled close, warming the young man's trembling frame. His eyes drifted closed as he took comfort in her presence, his exhaustion and fatigue starting to take hold of his senses. The young man's breath hitched as she snuggled close, the chill of his skin fading with her warmth. Draco felt at ease now, his eyes closed, sleep starting to take hold.
She kissed his head softly, wanting him to feel all the love she had for him. She stayed in her position for hours as he slept, not daring to move an inch. She counted every breath he took and every slight movement he made. Tears escaped her eyes silently as she knew his time was near. She tried her best to stay strong, but every second she watched the clock tick in the distance hurt her more.
She felt his chest rise and fall with each breath, though it seemed to become slower and slower with each passing second. His breathing was shallower now, his muscles more still. His body was slowly shutting down, but the young girl refused to leave his side. She wouldn't let him pass away alone, and so she stayed.
The tears silently running down her cheeks were all the emotions she felt at the moment. She didn't want to believe he was actually dying, and as the young man's life force gradually faded, hers was being torn apart. She refused to sob, refusing to let her grief and sorrow burst forth. Instead, she watched the clock, counting every passing second, dreading the time that was inevitably drawing near.
She mumbled sweet loving words and happy memories to him, even though he couldn't hear her. She wanted his last moments to be showered with love.
Only a few minutes later, his breathing stopped completely.
The room felt so silent. It was like the world stood still as she was alone in a room with the dead. Reality sank in all at once as she stared blankly down at the young man's peaceful expression. His breaths were no more. Her breaths were short and sharp, her heart thumping fast and hard like she was running a marathon. The realization sunk in, her greatest fear had come true.
