I hate you more ~buckybarnes enemies to lovers

Chapter 25 ~ easing tensions

Ocean Eyes.

(Y/n Pov)

Am I enough?

Sitting on the bed, staring at the blank wall just processing.

That's what everyone calls it, I call it accepting the harsh reality just as you think you finally have peace, living in your old dream, life cruelly snatches it away. Taunting us. Playing with us. They dangle it in front of our faces until we can't cope. Processing is accepting that there is nothing we can do about it.

But I think that's wrong. There's always something you could've done, or something you can do. The question is, whether that moment has already passed or not. Fixable or unfixable. Destroyed or saved. Polar opposites. There seems to be alot of polar opposites in my life.

Has my moment passed or yet to come? Is redemption possible for someone like me? A monster. Can what I've done be redeemed? Or not?

A knock breaks my thoughts away from my mind, then Bucky walks in.

Opposites or not?

"Hey, you alright?" Bucky asks, quietly stepping in and closing the door.

"I'm fine."

"You sure 'bout that?" He gives a skeptical look while sitting next to me on the bed.

"Definitely." I give a short convincing smile. However, there's only two people in this world who can tell it's a lie, Natasha and Bucky. Doesn't matter if I hate him or not, he's known me the longest.

Bucky let's out a small breath, carefully thinking about his next words.

His hand is close to mine, to the point we can feel each others body heat hit bounce of our hands. Although they aren't touching, I can practically feel the truth and care that radiates of his hand.

"I was thinking." He takes another breath.

What's he trying to say?

Just say it.

"I was thinking." Bucky repeats. "Maybe we could cancel this playing pranks on each other, while all of this is going on. You know? I mean it's just a thought."

"Uh yeah, yeah. Probably a good idea." I ramble.

God, why was that so awkward. I'm never that much of a mess.

"Well, uh how's your leg?" He pulls his hand that was resting so close to mine and gestures towards my thigh, before letting his hand sit on his leg.

"It's good. Basically healed." I looks down at my thigh, the cut has almost disappeared, leaving a faint scar that will probably go away in a few days.

"Good, good." Bucky looks up and so do I.

Our eyes meet, the first time in a while. I can feel myself getting sucked into his ocean eyes. The blue light pulling me closer, it could swallow me whole and I wouldn't realise until after it happened.

Those eyes could be the same ones that kill me and I'd say 'thank you'.

I can feel the heat rising in the room, the eternity of seconds and I'm wishing it to go on and stop keeping me from waiting at the same time.

Wait, no. This is Bucky Barnes we're talking about. The man I hate. But Jesus Christ, those eyes, oh my days, those eyes are just perfect. Sweet, protective, playful, caring, loving? Nope I'm seeing thing.

If looking at his eyes was a crime, lock me up and put me on death row. If his eyes were drugs, I'd be high all time.

No, no. This is Bucky Barnes. He hates me. I hate him. Or do I? Yes, yeah I hate him.

I can feel the heat moving as our heads move closer. Little by little.

Oh shit. Fuck, has he always been this hard to resist. I want him so bad but I shouldn't. We hate each other, right?

I feel the temperature rise. Our breath mixing, only centimetres apart.

Knock knock. We instantly back off. Bucky gets up to leave, flustered he says "Uh see you." With that he hurries out the door, leaving Natasha standing in the door way, a smirk plastered on her face when she sees who left the room.

What. The. Fuck. Just. Happened.

"Well Wanda and Sam suggested movie night probably to 'ease tensions', but this seems more interesting." Natasha smirks, leaning against the doorframe.

"Let's just go." I get up to leave, trying to hide my obvious blush by looking down.

"Aww, you're blushing." Natasha leaves with me to the main floor.

"Nat." I warn.

"Fine, fine, I'll drop it for now."

"Good." We arrive at the main floor with everyone picking out a film as we sit down.

To add to the awkwardness, the only seats left for us is next to Bucky and Clint in the other side, and Tony opposite us.

As the movie starts, I can feel Tony staring at me in disgust. I roll my eyes to find Natasha suppressing a satisfied smile, while she looks away from watching Tony's eye glare at me.

Me and Bucky share brief glances before looking away. The silence in the air is tense and thick, to the point even Peter is aware of it.

Ease tensions my ass.